Edgware Road - Refuge of the Damned!

[ScarFace]

Got this in my e-mail though i sahre it with you's ..........

 

If you're a Muslim and you live in and around London, the likelihood is that you would have had the unfortunate pleasure of visiting the morally bankrupt cesspool of sleaze and corruption that is Edgware road. For the uninitiated, Edgware road (well, part of it anyway) is a place where young hip/cool Muslims hang out, smoke sheesha, chew khat and eat outrageously priced, sub par chicken shwarmas, served by rude arrogant Arab bus-boys who believe that their job title as "Head Waiter" gives them some sort of intellectual and/or moral authority over you.

 

It started of as a place popular for rich, lonely Arabs from abroad, who would bring their white girlfriends to ridiculously overpriced restaurants and show her off to their fellow pervert friends, while, of course, hitting on any remotely good looking girl who happened to walk in. Causing a scene in the process and eventually being thrown out by an overzealous, pissed off "Head Waiter". E-Road (as it is referred to by regulars) soon became popular with Pakistani's, and, more recently, P-Diddy clones (aka Somalis).

 

Over time, something quite remarkable happened. The non-Arabs had slowly begun (for want of a better word) to metamorphosise into Arabs - This spread of Arab culture amongst non-Arabs was nothing short of astonishing. Pakistani's were using words like "yalla", "akhi" and "habibi" in their regular conversations. The tea towel scarf was now being worn with the shalwar kameez...the song "habibi dah" was on everyone’s' play list... men fantasized about one day marrying a fair skinned Arab girl and made plans on how they would take up residence in Dubai once they graduate.

The trend continues today, and has gotten to the stage where many have deluded themselves into believing that they actually ARE of Arab extraction, making up some outlandish story about how his/her great-grandfather was of one eighth Syrian. Or, that their "Ahmed" surname somehow proves their Arabian heritage. Morons.

 

You see, normally you have to be careful when making gross generalisations about people en mass, but in this case, the generalisations are completely justified. Take, for example, the now famous E-Road rude boys. They normally hang around in groups of about 300, making the already overcrowded road an absolute chore to get around. They adorn, almost without exception, the standard chavistani attire. Hoody's, baseball caps, low riders and Persil white Adidas trainers… fake silver chains are also common. Their sole purpose (in life?) is to roam the streets looking for their female counterparts (hojabi's) who they will invariably greet with the words "whagwan sister" before proceeding to one of the multitude of classless Arab cafe's where they will practise smoking near perfect rings and indulge themselves in groundbreaking conversational topics such as

"why biggie is better than tupac" or "the latest Nokia hand set which has, get this, 512mb space for MP3’s, wicked!"

 

But Edgware road isn’t all rude Arabs, and Pakistani chavs. You also get the more distinguished crowd. The well educated stiff upper lip types. Normally in their mid-to-late 20's, they turn up dressed like metrosexuals models and can usually be found clutching a copy of today's Financial Times. The groups are a lot smaller, not more than 4..a pot of herbal tea can always be found on their table. The topic of choice is usually work (oh yes, I went to see a client in Singapore last week...went to this fab restaurant...you must go) although sometimes marriage (depending on their relationship status) is discussed. For the most part, their manner is a refreshing change from the usual redneck types mentioned above. Although obnoxious at times, the elder crowd tend to be pretty decent folk.

 

Finally, we move on to the elderly. The 60 something Arab men who, rather than spend their precious time with grandchildren, prefer instead, to sit in a sleazy underground cafe with equally sleazy men discussing god knows what up into small hours of the morning. I’m not sure whether they are hard of hearing, but their discussion seems to be more like a shouting contest than an actual conversation. "I CAN SHOUT LOUDER THAN YOU" said one "NO YOU CANT, I CAN SHOUT LOUDER THAN YOU" said the other, using the most gutter form of Slang Arabic known to man. I actually find this particular group quite amusing, especially when they turn the local Mc D's into a social hang out reminiscent of a cafe in downtown Beirut - believe me, there is nothing, NOTHING, funnier than seeing a congregation of about 10 elderly Arab men sitting in McDonalds, eating bismillah hamburgers. You can only shudder at the thought of what the god-forsaken employees at Mc D's must go through - round the clock requests for shisha instead of milkshake, filet-o-fish running out of stock, aggressive men complaining about the lack of salt in their French fries. May god have mercy.

 

Yet, despite all this. Despite the idoits. Despite the atmosphere, despite the distinct lack of class shown by about, say, 80% of the regulars and about 100% of those moroon waiters....I still go there, every week. Without Fail...and I'm not sure why. Am I compelled by idoits? Am I just another e-road stereotype?

[Jamelia]

Hey, just wondering do you by any chance know who wrote it e.g. Arab, Pakistani?

 

 

Loooool@ P diddy Clones....

[Libaax-Sankataabte]

Edware Road is good. I actually rented a room at the Hilton Metropole twice just to get the chance of walking back and forth on Edware road.

 

My wife and friends took me there on different occasions and I liked Edgeware road every time. Good food.

 

There are amazing places in London. If you have a veteran being your guide, London is a world class city.

[ScarFace]

^^^ E-road must have caught your eye sxb twice :eek:

 

Jamelia dont really know who wrote it......

 

 

looooooooooool @"whagwan sister"

[Ibtisam]

Just don't go there on a friday night. the place is jam-packed with farah's you start to feel odd :rolleyes: or EID

[ScarFace]

^^^^^ what happend we supposed to link up @ Beirut cafe....... :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

[Ibtisam]

huh ???? :confused: :confused: i think you have me confused in your old age

[ScarFace]

^^^^ this awoowe aint confused It was your turn to pay......what happend u a broke *** aint you.....dont worry check plsss :cool:

[Ibtisam]

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: what :eek: I’ve never paid for anything. ever ever :rolleyes: so why on GOd earth would you think an imaginary Ibtisam will suddenly start paying :rolleyes:

[Didi Kong]

Thanks for sharing, now I have two reasons to avoid setting foot in England ever again! The first reason the God-forsaken British accent! Good God I thought I was going to start smacking ppl across their faces. Being unable to control one's reflexes is not cool!

[ScarFace]

^^^^ whats with the smackin..... I think we got the best accent in the world.... Posh english you cant get better than that.....

 

 

The imaginary ibtisam i leave that to Khalaf...... Just make sure you down e-road this friday we need to discuss couple of things.... :eek: :eek:

[Ibtisam]

^^^like i have time to waste on you :rolleyes:

 

on a serious note i think you have me confused

 

Didi Kong :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[mantra]

Originally posted by ibtisam:

Just don't go there on a friday night. the place is jam-packed with farah's you start to feel odd :rolleyes: or EID

Went there once...sat down, looked around..

got up, walked away and never went back..

 

Theres a better shishah spot in Troccaderos (methinks thats how its spelt)

 

Ibtisam we have ourselves a date

me no take no for answer

[Resistance]

^^^ loool at the above ( mind who u tell tales ) ... Mantra ( A is for .. ) the world is a small place, i still have sore feets ..

[Ibtisam]

Ibtisam we have ourselves a date

me no take no for answer

any time sis. as long as you don't drag ur farahs with you.

 

For shisha. Oxford street has many places, that are cheap and cheerful. not telling you where, don't want it backed out with SOL farahs