A letter from a white female

[Pebbles]

Salam ...

 

It really made my day when I received this e-mail and I thought it'd be worth sharing with all the sisters on SOL....Hope u enjoy it as much as I did

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Subject: Angry White Girl to Black Men

 

 

Read on............So great to find this Black Prince defending us like this...

 

It seems that an article was written to Sister 2 Sister magazine by a Caucasian woman who requested a response from black men. I'm so glad she got what she asked for (and more) !!!

 

This letter was written in response to an article in Sister 2 Sister:

 

Dear Jamie:

 

I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black male readers. I am a White female who is engaged to a Black male-good-looking, educated and loving. I just don't understand a lot of Black female's attitudes about our relationship.

 

My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Black women were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage.

 

Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by Black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world. If Black women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don't they look at themselves and make some changes.

 

I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we're out in public. I would like to hear from some Black men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them. Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us. Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes...I could go on and on.

 

But, right now, I'm a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don't be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us.

 

Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Black men, let me know.

 

- Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in VA.

 

Response:

 

Dear Jamie:

 

I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl.

 

Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old black man. I graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta, Georgia with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful black men.

 

I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why black men date white women.

 

Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why black men dated white women was because they were considered easy. The black girls in my neighborhood were raised in the church. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls.

 

Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of black men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our black women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses.

 

Because of this fear, many black men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control. I have talked to numerous black men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women.

 

I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful black men date white women. Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black women. And, to flip the scrip, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot light, who openly or secretly desire black women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few.

 

I just don't want a disgusted white girl to be misinformed. Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess.

 

Remember, when black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs.

 

Read your history! It was the black woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the black woman that taught you how to praise your children. It was black women who were breastfeeding and raising your babies during slavery. It is the black woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail.

 

Black women were born with two strikes against them: being black and being a woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise!

 

It is because of the black women's strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could never date anyone except my black Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them.

 

Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about black women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with black women.

 

I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous? I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the black woman has.

 

BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children. Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill.

 

No offense taken, none given.

 

Signed,

 

Black Royalty

 

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For the guyz: Give us ur feedback on what u thought about the article...Do u agree with Black Royalty or do u believe he exaggerate a tad.

[Macalin]

Dear Pebbles...Asalaam aleykum WW.

 

That was indeed a very Interesting article,informative and a wake up to the sisters/brothers-or should i say...Sistah/Brothas!....anyways,

 

I really liked reading the Article,i started to agree with the white woman,and then i read the bros response...so naturally i was sold.......The Black in me agreed,However i Stopped and thought what is it that i agree/disagree with here?,then i looked @ur signature and u asked for the input of the brothers/brothas...

 

But theres one lil Problem,I am not AN AFRICAN AMERICAN,and this Article Has nothing to DO with Me BEING A SOMALI, A MUSLIM and most OFF all AN AFRICAN,coz we as somalis/africans have tottaly nothing in common with the cultures of the afro-american(note i dindt use BLACK)and certainly not the white MAN,So how then can i comment/agree or disagree with something THAT is not in my LEAGUE?...perhaps someone else has some else to say!__

 

Bada Bing Bada Boom!

[Changed]

i loved it ..i actually read the article the white woman was responding to

[stpaulchick]

I know I know....ur suppose to just get the replies of the fellas only but I just had to comment on Lakkad...

See we look at ourselves as "somalians" but do u seriously believe that these white people don't put us in the "Black" or "African American" category????? Half of them don't even know where somalia is...if Africa hit them in the face.

And not only white's but Afro-Americans also believe that. I remember one time this black girl and a somali girl in one of my class had an argument. The black girl was saying that we Somalians are Afro-Americans too but for the fact that we live in the US and that were Africans which now qualifies us African Americans. And then Somali girls repsonse was that they use Afro-Americans in the US just for the propose of not saying "children of the African slaves" which I personally agree with. But these people regardless of what, they see u as "African American".

 

But on a side note that was a nice article. That black men made me feel good. But he should have add one thing. That rich black men marry white women to show that their now high in society and they can get the "white corporate men's women".

[Che -Guevara]

Iam just wondering how is this any revelent to us ( Somalis). I do realise we are dark-skinned,but I don't see da connection unless somali women see themselves as being Afro-Americans, and are offended by seeing Somali men or any black men running off with white honeys. The article talks about particular situation experienced by a particular group. Yes we are black, but I don't see how Somalis can relate to this article considering we haven't lived through these experiences.

 

As for the article itself, the woman obviously has deep-rooted racism, and that comes out in her writing. She associates her skin color with superiority. She is a racist.I just don't see how she could like black man, and hate his sister. You either like something or you don't.

 

As for the guy's response, it is typical response you would get from racist blacks. It starts with references to the past black empires like Cush,Egypt, etc. It continues on how blacks taught the whites everything, and ends up with blacks being turned into some gods or goddes. N ofcourse, they always have to mention white women being easy.

 

Bottom line....A couple of insecure racists trying to find some self-esteem by badmouthing others. Race/skin color doesn't determine how one turns out.

N i agree with black royalty. Black women have survived through slavery, segregation, and poverty. They were abodoned by their men, and they still pull it together. It is their strength and character that help them survive through hardships.Black women are da very fabric of African Americans. Without them , blacks would have been history.

 

But lets not forget, each human being is unique,and has his own strenghts and weaknesses.

Race determines nothing when it comes to one's character. It doesn't make elegant, wise, or rich. Only you can make yourself elegant, wise, or what have you. Race is just social stratification that we are born into.

[QUANTUM LEAP]

Hmmm pretty much what the status quo should be huh

[Tahliil]

I think this piece of hate literature (by the pink women and the other piece by the African American guy) is a clash between two "cultures."....low and behold here, I said “two cultures”...the white culture in America and the black one. No racial approach or observation about this predicament from my side.

 

I am trying to figure out though the connection, the link between the article and us (the Somalis), whatever your argument is about where we r from and who we are and what the color our skin is, I am still wondering where do we fit (the Somali immigrants who the longest have been here for 20 years) into this equation, or rather into this culture?

[rudy-Diiriye]

Pebbles! this should have been widely common to all brothers/sista's!

 

white women always hunt for brother! reason, all that said already + better equipment (plz dont ask what is) i remember my first encounter. a white gal in school told my friend in jr high that she wanned me! i said no, comes anther i said no! till i landed on the most beautiful sista in the world. she was the best!! i still say to myself, why she and her family treated me like their own child!!

even though we separated during college, we still respect each other!

 

and have noticed at office breaks! who out there checking u out!!!who else, but the whitie lady again! :eek: and sistas! just relax once in blue moon! :rolleyes:

[AngelEyes]

This is suprising me..how all of you are saying "how is this of concern to us(somali) ppl". i dont know if u guys forgot the somali ppl are black...we might not be african american but we r still black...cause thats how the white man sees us...he doesnt care if the black person is somali or not,cause to him black is black...there is one other reason why we should be concerned about this issue...i dont know about u guys but i know some somali guys who date white women and also married to white women....weather we should be concerned or not, i'll let u guys decide.

[stpaulchick]

That's what I'm talkin' about Angel_Eyes!

[Gediid]

I once had a friend who when he hears a disease jumps up and swears he has all the symptoms .The responses to this letter more or less prove that.We are somalis and though we are black we have our own problems as new immigrants into this nation.I think maybe a letter from a disgruntled Xaliimo or a Farax complaining about how their welfare benefits have been slashed in half and the responses they got from the social worker would be a more befitting amusement.

[Blessed]

A whole loada racist bla, bla!

 

I agree with Lakkad.. we are Muslims and Muslims come in all colours and cultures ...BUT we have the same values and principles. Whereas, the only thing we share with Afro-Americans (non Muslims) is colour.

 

I remember when I was at school - one of our frainds (a white brother) converted to Islam. He went to library to get books on Islam and read one by the Nation of Islam thinking they were muslims. Anyways the next day he brought the book for us to look at - expecting us as mulims to be shocked and offended about the nations views of white ppl - but instead some of the Somalis started to defend it. I still remember the look of hurt in his face - when we read these articles we have to move away from our own biases (in this case being black-makes us side with the dude) and see it for what it really is - racism and ignorance from both parties - Islaam condemns both arguements.

[N.O.R.F]

^^^very well said sis

 

We shouldnt stoop to their level, i'm not yr model citizen and my views on race are,,,well lets just say a tad extreme, but thats a gr8 reminder @ Ameena

[rudy-Diiriye]

sooner or later, a bro/sista would have the white boy! thats exactly how some color ppl feel about whities!

 

hey did u forget about 400yrs of slavery, 200 of colonialism, loating most all riches/treasures of all other culture! do u really

believe europe/america would have been economically that successful if they did get free workers, free material and resources, loating of gold, minerals and world treasures! when u have this kind of stash!!hell.....even a blind one will hit home-run at the first pitch!

 

Ameenah! be hones! any lil jungle-fever involved there!!!lol... come on dont shy sista!

[Blessed]

Originally posted by rudy:

hey did u forget about 400yrs of slavery, 200 of colonialism, loating most all riches/treasures of all other culture! do u really

believe europe/america would have been economically that successful if they did get free workers, free material and resources, loating of gold, minerals and world treasures! when u have this kind of stash!!hell.....even a blind one will hit home-run at the first pitch!

What makes you think that I need a lesson in black history? And from you of all ppl :confused: Yeah, slavery, colonialism etc-- was evil - it was racism and you can't combate racism with racism - get me? And fyi..

 

That is Afro American history- I sympathies but I happen to have my own miserable history to contend with.

 

Besides, these letter weren't about slavery / colonialism but two ppl who were trying to validate their very existance at the expense of the 'other' race- It is only an indication of deep rooted racism, insecurity and the need to be accpeted by the other - sad!

 

 

Ameenah! be hones!

any lil jungle-fever involved there!!!lol... come on dont shy sista!

I'll be honest - I think you are in dire need of maturing :rolleyes:

 

 

Thanks North.....