Somali Parents This - Somali Parents That: Worthy of Blame or Blameless??

[London2010]

How can she have 5 children and then complain about the small house she lives in. How can you make a idiotic statements like that.

Why have 5 children then?? She probably can't afford it.

It should be forced sterilisation on people like this.

[Blessed]

Sayid,

 

Free will and qadr are justly balanced hence why as a Muslim parent, I am accountable for how I raise my children and I'm rewarded for or punished for my effort or lack of it. Sadly a lot of people underestimate the level of influence they can have on their children's lives and all those things that supposedly compete with your power and influence, parents are also in a position to change that situation.

 

El Punto,

 

Well said. It's all about keeping them positively busy..

[Chocolate and Honey]

C&H - what percentage would you put on the parents then? given that you said they did everything yet the children turn out to be monsters. Even Hitler had a mother.

 

Lets us not harp on too much about the negatives as if thought they overshadow the positives. i am of the opinion that the so call deadbeat dads for a lack of a better word are tiny minority and fathers are very much interested in their children 's future.

 

I would say this: the percentage of children who turned out horribly despite their parents' relentless effort and support is small.

DEADBEAT DADS are NOT minority! No way!No how! Fathers like you are minority, the majority dhib bay u arkaan inay caruur dabo socdaan. Waa shaqo dumar ayey ku dhahayaan. It is a sad case wallahi.

I agree with KK and Juxa.

[NGONGE]

Xasan married Xalimo. She got pregnant soon after and they had a baby. The happy couple took the unhappy baby home. On the first night, it cried. On the second night, it cried. On the third night, it cried some more.

 

Xalimo's mother thinks it's only wind! Xasan's mother thinks it's something more sinister (“did you do takbeer in his ear as soon as he was born?” she asks).

 

Xalimo's single friends read a newspaper article about herbal baths and how soothing they are for babies. Xasan's friends simply advise him to do it the old fashion way and rock the baby to sleep.

 

On the fourth day, the couple take their baby to the doctor. Turns out the poor bugger had a medical problem! Now Xalimo, Xasan and all their acquaintances advise all parents with crying babies to visit the doctor immediately.

 

Axlaam on the other hand, would look on this couple and laugh. In her experience, this is simple stuff! But she cuts Xasan and Xalimo some slack, seeing that they are new to this parenting lark. Her toddler daughter refuses to eat her food and is extremely fussy. Now Axlaam, you see, is a modern mother who prides herself on knowing all the latest parenting techniques and is even a long term member of Mums-on-the-web website. However, despite all the tips, tricks and advice, little Maryam only eats what SHE wants to eat.

 

Axlaam's parents believe she rather than the child is the one who is being fussy here. They believe that as long as Maryam is eating healthy food and consuming sufficient amounts to keep her alive, Axlaam should let her be. However, Axlaam, being a modern, educated mother, does not trust her parents' outdated skills and is thinking of taking her daughter to a nutritionist. Axlaam is what is known in child caring circles as a geriatric mother.

 

Had Xafsa heard about all these baby and toddler problems she would trip over her hijab laughing. Her seven year old son refuses to pray. She did everything to force him into the habit but all her efforts keep on failing. Even on the rare occasions that she manages to get him to pray, she suspects there is no khoshooc involved.

 

Cabulwaaxid fully appreciates her predicament but believes that since the child is only seven, Xafsa should not start panicking yet. He on the other hand, can not stop worrying. His four children you see, are loud, obnoxious and always causing trouble. He personally takes them to school in the morning and picks them up in the afternoon. Every Saturday, he takes them to the mosque for their Islamic classes. He even enrolled them in after school clubs to keep them busy. Yet, they remain naughty and would still seek trouble the minute his face is turned. He blames their mother.

 

Jamal's problem is entirely different. He has two sons, one good and the other bad. He tells the good one off all the time (to keep him good) and sweet talks the bad one (to make him good). His wife believes he's doing it all wrong. His relatives are all fond of the bad kid (because of his personality). Jamal's good son is a secret drug user.

 

Khadar thinks his children's slow-wittedness is a genetic problem. He looks at his mother-in-law's vacant eyes and sees the reasons for all his parental problems.

 

 

Sacad thinks he is the greatest father ever. His children are disciplined, polite and attentive. When his wife tells him that the children need telling off, he tells them off. When she tells him they need to be praised, he showers them with gifts but when she tells him she's feeling broody again, he suppresses the urge to suffocate her.

 

Cabdi has no children of his own. But he goes around passing judgement on other people's kids. His friends think he's strange. He also smells of stale urine.

 

Xaaji Cumar never spent more than five minutes in the presence of his children. He travels around a lot and only visits them on holidays. He has fifteen kids and they are all polite and well behaved. He does not know why they all turned out good and attributes their good upbringing to their mother's hardwork. Nobody works as hard as Mrs Cumar. She cooks, she cleans, she buys clothes and she shouts a lot. She too wonders how her kids grew up to be this good. She gives all the credit to a great ancestor of hers who was said to be a wali.

 

Intisar thinks she's a brilliant mother. “I gave up my child for adoption and gave him the best chance to succeed in life” she says as she resolutely tightens her head scarf.

 

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[SayidSomal]

LOL@ Ngonge - wasn't you - the father who wanted his five year old daughter to make dinner for him war naga kala yaray bahasha - hana bah dilin waaliddiinta.

 

Originally posted by NGONGE:

 

Jamal's problem is entirely different. He has two sons, one good and the other bad. He tells the good one off all the time (to keep him good) and sweet talks the bad one (to make him good). His wife believes he's doing it all wrong. His relatives are all fond of the bad kid (because of his personality). Jamal's good son is a secret drug user.

I know him - but his real is Jaamac

[NGONGE]

^^ It wasn't 'dinner' (what are you, a Mancunian?). It was tea, just plain old tea.

 

Anyway, I'm with you on this. Even more so when we consider the topics that inspired it.

[SayidSomal]

is not only Mancunians who call 'dinner' a tea so do the Liverpudlians whom i know you are fond of.

[Juxa]

saw a mother with her two gorgeous sons on the tube today on their way to school. the boys were very well dressed,clean, no hair out of place and the mother was applying vaseline to protect their lips from the cold

 

i salute that woman, no man in sight. of course i prayed the boys would be the future men that break the cycle of wax-matarenimo.

 

i like xaaji cumar

[SayidSomal]

Juxa i did the same thing today and there was no 'woman' in sight

 

and don't you mean you like MRS xaaji cumar.

[NGONGE]

^^ Juxa is easily pleased ninyaho.

 

A couple of months ago, I had to pick one of the kids from school. They went to a trip and were coming back at seven in the evening (or so we were told). As I stood waiting outside the school, it started to heavily rain. I was jumping around and looking for shelter when I heard the familiar Somali cry "WARYA!".

 

Four guys were sat chewing in a seven seater on the side( ). They called me over and offered me some of the green stuff too (it was the middle of the week!). Every one of them was waiting for his child and our conversation for the next hour and a half revolved around schools, homework, the abilities of various teachers and the UK education system.

 

(I only tell this anecdote to cheer Juxa up).

[Juxa]

easily pleased my foot! waa la soo qasbay kuwaa, the jaad session was interrupted and he was told unless uu ciyaalka soo doono there will be no shaah or gogol for that night

 

do you think picking your kids intoxicated adigoo afka abur green ah kuu sarantahay is great thing?

 

anaa ku maqlay yaan lagu maqlin

[NGONGE]

^^ I don't think picking kids up is ever a great thing. It's a bloody chore.

[Juxa]

the poor kids must be embarrased to be picked up by their dads period.

 

lol@chores, dhab iyo dhab isi sii then...no kids no chores..allaa ku xureeyay