Passengers are reminded...that basically..Americans talk loud :)

[Paragon]

LISTEN to London Underground voiceover artist's spoofs that got her sacked today

 

* "We would like to remind our American tourist friends that you are almost certainly talking too loudly."

 

* "Would the passenger in the red shirt pretending to read the paper but who is actually staring at that woman's chest please stop. You are not fooling anyone, you filthy pervert."

 

* "Here we are crammed again into a sweaty Tube carriage ... If you're female smile at the bloke next to you and make his day. He's probably not had sex for months."

 

-------------

 

 

Murad Ahmed

 

She is the voice heard by millions of Tube travellers each day, warning them to “mind the gap”. But now a gap has opened in the career of Emma Clarke after she criticised the Underground system and spoofed her own announcements on the internet.

 

Tube bosses have said that they will not provide the voiceover artist with any more work. A Transport for London spokesman said: “London Underground is sorry to have to announce that further contracts for Ms Clarke are experiencing severe delays.”

 

Ms Clarke, 36, from Altrincham, Cheshire, criticised the system in a newspaper interview after she produced spoof announcements on her website. She apparently said that while living in Highgate, North London, she used to take the Tube every day, but had refused to use it any longer because it was “dreadful”.

 

Speaking to The Times, she said that the comments had been taken out of context. “I did not say that the Northern Line was dreadful. I did say it’s a challenging line. What I did say was dreadful was the thought of being in a Tube train listening to my own voice.”

 

In one spoof announcement she said: “Here we are crammed again into a sweaty Tube carriage . . . If you are female, smile at the bloke next to you and make his day. He’s probably not had sex for months.”

 

Peeping Toms were singled out in another message when she said: “Would the passenger . . . pretending to read a paper but who is actually staring at that woman’s chest please stop. You’re not fooling anyone, you filthy pervert.”

 

The joke was not quite lost on the Tube bosses, who have said that they will not provide the voiceover artist with any more work.London Underground said that it was the criticism of the Tube system, rather than the spoof announcements, that sealed Ms Clarke’s fate.

 

The Transport for London spokesman said: “Some of the spoof announcements are very funny. But Emma is a bit silly to go round slagging off her client’s services.

 

“Obviously, if we employ somebody to represent or promote the network, paid for at the expense of the taxpayer, one of the things we do require is that they refrain from publicly attacking the services they are employed to promote. That’s a pretty clear line.”

 

Ms Clarke, who had worked for London Underground since 1999, said that even though she had tried to contact TfL to clear up her comments, she had not had a response. She found out that she had been dropped by the network through the press. Commuters will continue to hear Ms Clarke telling them to “mind the gap”, though, as the recorded announcements were still “fit for purpose”.

 

But for future announcements, a replacement is being sought. A TfL spokeman said: “London’s a big city, and we’re confident we’ll be able to find an alternative ‘voice of the Tube’.”

 

In one spoof, Ms Clarke attacked the mindset of some Londoners. She said: “Residents of London are reminded that there are other places in Britain outside your stinking city and, if you remove your heads from your backsides for just a couple of minutes, you may realise the M25 is not the edge of the Earth.”

 

In another she said: “Passengers should note that the bearded rucksack contains the following items only: some sandwiches, a library card and picture of a bare ankle, and is no cause for concern.”

 

Ms Clarke, whose voice is now well known to the estimated billion passengers who use the Tube network each year, put her joke messages on the website she created this month after asking friends what they would most like to hear.

 

Ms Clarke said she was “very disappointed” and upset at the reaction of TfL, but still harboured hope that the row with the network could be resolved. “The first step is for us to have a conversation,” she said. “I hope they hear my point of view, and take on board that I wasn’t criticising London Underground or the Tube system.”

 

Her voiceover work can be heard on radio stations such as Virgin, on advertisements and in department stores.

 

 

Mind the gaffe: Ms Clarke’s spoofs

 

“Passengers are asked not to drop litter on the train. Please use the tramps provided”

 

“Passengers are reminded a smile is a friendship signal, not a sign of weakness”

 

“We would like to remind our American tourist friends that you are almost certainly talking too loudly”

 

“Would passengers filling in their Su Dokus please accept that they are just crosswords for the unimaginative and are not more impressive because they contain numbers.”

 

“Would the passenger in the pinstripe suit and £1,000 glasses who obviously works in the media please take one step forward on to the track”

 

 

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article2951173.ece

[FatB]

loooooooooool