Blessed Posted August 15, 2003 Originally posted by Athena: You should have each other tested if at all in doubt but ama make sure I know the guy and have no doubts absolutely before decidin to marry him... hence hopefully I wont have to ask him to get checked.. You've said it all babes. If I've doubted him than I wouldn't want marry him. Trust is a really important, if it ain't there, why waste each others time? But on a general note, if some 1 is sexually active (wether they are male of female) - they should get themselves checked for their sake (and the health or their spouse) and not to please or seek anothers approval. Thats called taking responsibility for your own actions.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
silent-sistah Posted August 15, 2003 rudy....im sorry to here that,,,and hope you didnt love her that much that you got distraught over the situation, but its like u said brother,,,,its not about trust, its about health. and i like your litlle list. -std -blood test. -genetic up normalities. me 'Istinct brother,,,religious brothers used to be players' instict peot Aigh't see, I'ma religious brotha..I knowz where my limits iz..Somethings are not worth testing.. Strong faith,and killer instincts is what i live on... i did not see u deny the fact that at one point you slept around!! latiif What..................asking my wife 2b to get tested, isn't that another way of saying you don't trust her or maybe she is Prostitute ? walaal, i see that you need to be educated, on the many ways that aids can be spread, its not only/always through sex.(ill give u the lesson if u need it...just shout!) and there are many different types of deseases that can be caught and need to be checked out,,,clemedia, is spreading fast around the UK, and amongst teenagers its caught through sexual interaction,(i thing songging was included-but dont quote me) im tryna tell you, that its not about him/her being a prostitute, its about staying safe. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MiSs_LeXuS Posted August 16, 2003 Instinct-Poet I didn't say you are diseased all ama saying is that you are hiding something, god knows what that is. :rolleyes: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PlayMaker Posted August 16, 2003 How can you ever say to your husband or your wife get tested! That is sick we talking about marriage here, where is the trust and the faith in here? If my wife ever say that to me i wouldn't do it.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kiLLaflows Posted August 16, 2003 Originally posted by Nin-Yaaban: Maybe guys should also demand girls be inspected to see if they lost their virginity or not. I couldn't have agreed more. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Xafsa Posted August 16, 2003 There is this misunderstanding.....we are not saying that the brothas are the only ones that need to get tested......BOTH parties need to just to be on the safe side. If people really understand all the ways that STD's are transmitted then they wouldn;t feel offended when their partner asks them to get tested. Its just the smartest thing to do....what do you have to loose? It aint about trust?....or whether or not your religious ( instinct poet. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kool_Kat Posted August 16, 2003 No, I would NOT ask my husband-to-be to get tested... 1. If I am still in a position to doubt his health, I wouldn't be with him... 2. If I know his history, and know him well, and trust him, I'll put faith in God... 3. If I have any reason to ask him to get checked, I would just leave (obviously, there's a lack of trust there to begin with) I just can't picture anyone asking their future husband or wive to get tested...Not only is that disrespectful, it is also shows a lack of trust...And believe me you don't want to be in that position when you still have doubts about his/her health... It is very sad to see so many of us sayin "Yea we'll ask him/her to get tested"...If you're at the level of becoming a husband and wive, wouldn't you say you too came a long way, been through alot together, know each other very well, trust each other, would die for each other, and most of all love one another...So if you have all of that, I don't see how one could ask his/her future husband/wive to get tested... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
runawayvirgin Posted August 16, 2003 Oh Hell yeah! why was I running around protecting myself all this years? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MD Posted August 16, 2003 we are not saying that the brothas are the only ones that need to get tested......BOTH parties need to just to be on the safe side. It's not about trust or anything, just to be on the safe side just like flying still said I've seen a lot of couples going through this, and basically to be honest i dont see nothing wrong with it, allah wuxuu qoray waa mareeysaa, but you still have to protect yourself.. P.S. Well said Harmonyangel :cool: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Raxmah Posted August 17, 2003 I personally would not ask him to get tested, if there was anydoubt in my mind I wouldn't be with the brotha. I hardly trust ppl, so when I trust some1 I do it with caution. ANd why wait for the wedding night gals, shouldn't it be asked b4 dat let say he was positive wouldn't that have been waste in ur life. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
- diamond princess - Posted August 17, 2003 Kool_Kat and Raxmah, lets say you trust him completely. You love him and you get married. You believe with all your heart he is telling you the truth. Then BOMB! you go the doctor one day and he say's you got STD/AIDS. Now...tell me what would you do? Still wish you could go back and take a test with him? But you didnt, did you? You trusted him too much to put a little test to risk your wonderful relationship. And now look what happened? Nin-Yaban...Hmmm...Maybe girls should also demand guys to take a lie-detector to see if they slept around with women. Harmonyangel...couldnt have said it better myself. .:peace n luv:. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Khayr Posted August 17, 2003 Salaamz, You know Diamond Princess, you can imagine a thousand different 'IF's' like you women (and yes it is a general statement) very much crave to do, but if you keep living your life thinking of the 'IF's' and prioritize your life that way, then you are gonna be some lonely azz single or divorced HALIMOS. Hey, Mizz Lexus, why don't you go back to Somalia/Somaliland (same place to me-HOME!) and try asking these questions and see what sort of response you would get. Let me tell you this, I'm pretty sure that by asking such questions 'Inaankadha HIV Checkup baa kaarabaa', you: a) Get the Dhaacas smacked on your face by both families (yourz included) b) Bring embarassment and shame to your family for being soooo damn rude. c) Be marked around the community for you rudness, to the point that no man would wanna step to your family to marry you. Imagine if the men started asking the question 'Well are you a VIRGIN or is your daughter a VIRGIN? I don't believe it, I need to go and have a look for myself' STUPIDDDD QUESTIONS DESERVE A SMACK LEARN SOME ADAB/MANNERS and don't be like the nonmuslims of todays society that ask questions no matter how rude or intrusive they are just for the sake of curiosity. If we didn't have boundaries, then the Somali Dhaqaan would be come worthless and would be like the Western culture. Fi Amanallah Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Xafsa Posted August 17, 2003 I don't understand what people are so afraid of...if you aint got nothing to hide then whats the big deal. All teh university education should at least teach you that you don't have to have sex to get STD's....it is transmitted by an exchange of body fluid.....think about it. Is your pride really worth putting your partner or your future children at risk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Macalin Posted August 17, 2003 But on a general note, if some 1 is sexually active (wether they are male of female) - they should get themselves checked for their sake (and the health or their spouse) and not to please or seek anothers approval. Thats called taking responsibility for your own actions.... ---------- Ameenah---And i wonder why i am so inlove with U--u have the right things to say---in a nice mature and sexxy style---U go girl!.... On the other hand, its evident that most guys are sexually active than the girls..lemme tell u a lil short story! A good freind of mine, was what any mama will say is the 'ideal son'...xafid quran, university degree and good looks!...somehow this dude got married to some chick from australia and as such wanted to go out of afrika in search of a better life....so the process takes a while and when his health results came back, he was denied entry coz he was HIV +ve!(now am not sayin the dude got infected by the sis)...now heres the twist, the dude gave up on life abroad and worked in kenya, so he became succesful and --now he married this YOUNG verry young(she wjust finished h/school!) and after 2 yrs in the marriage the brother passed away-coz he was hiv!...now the sister is got one 2----how sad can this be?---u tell me then only the dude can get tested!--wrong anyone should and will be! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
- diamond princess - Posted August 17, 2003 Khayr, I'm not gonna argue with you because you seem to have a very good point. I just hope that your pride and dignity doesn't get you diseased. You're only gonna feel sorry for yourself later on. It is wise to get yourself checked, even if your are 100% sure you are not infected. Why must Dhaqaan always be refered to in any question asked that seems to be "inappropriate"? ****** questions deserve a smack? Hmmm...seems to me that you are not in the right place. Because this is a interesting question. .:peace n luv:. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
