You are a boring fart!

[sheherazade]

Yeah you, waxba dhinacaa iyo dhinaca kale ha eegin. You're it. A fart and a boring one at that. This place has been dead for a long while now and u've sighed in disappointment as u've hoped for the all the nutters, trolls, megalomaniacs, freaks, sh*t-stirrers to say something.

 

U are a boring fart.

 

And a fool for waiting for a change to happen while u sit there and hope for excitement, entertainment and escapism.

 

U are a boring fart.

 

If u've lurked and never participated, say Hey, Yo, fart if u will just say something. Wave, squeak, your name has appeared as the latest member to join on these forums and that's about all u've done. Shame on you, are you a fart or are you a farter?

 

If u're a lazy boring fart(akhas caleyk) get typing, tell us something interesting, bizarre, different that u have done lately, other than being a boring lazy fart, u fart.

 

In case u're wondering what's gotten into me, I say it again:

 

U are a boring fart.

 

Nothing happens until u make it happen.

 

It's Boring Fartsville in here.

 

U r a boring dhuuso.

 

Akhas caleyk.

 

Yeah u, waxba dhinaceyga ha soo eegin.

[sheherazade]

[Khalaf]

^^^^What the hell? :confused: Moderators delete this dhuuso of a post!

[J.Lee]

First.I'm going through the change and NO, it's not menopause though I do have the urge to throttle people within .5in of their life.

 

Second. I'm dealing with an addiction, several actually. To what? to Krispy Kremes and Rice Krispies. Snap, crackle and pop iyo that little delicious, weightless donut baa si xun iiga waalay. Isbaara inay ii dhigteen ayaan umalaynayaa. Ha ila yaabin though, waa noormaal ee leerka iga jeedhi.

 

Third. Welcome back you boring fart.

[Khalaf]

^^^Lee....Krispy Kremes and Rice Krispies has pork in it no?

[sheherazade]

^WTF, had a Krispy Kreme D(I really can't spell it) today for the first time ever and already I have to say goodbye. FF'S!!

 

J Lee, snap, crackle iyo pop addiction ma fahmi karo laakin if it floats your dooni...it is rather fascinating in a boring fart sort of way.

[J.Lee]

^Snap,Crackle iyo Pop.

 

Khalafow:

 

I: Thank you for disgusting me.

 

II: I wouldn't know how pork tastes so I can't tell you whether my favorite products have pork in it or not.

 

III: I'll look into it insha'allah but if I come to find that there isn't any dhoofaar in it and that my doubt and disgust were for nothing...Be afraid.

 

Be very very afraid ina adeer.

[Castro]

^ Speaking of "Snap,Crackle iyo Pop":

 

What makes farts stink?

 

The odor of farts comes from small amounts of hydrogen sulfide gas and mercaptans in the mixture. These compounds contain sulfur. Nitrogen-rich compounds such as skatole and indole also add to the stench of farts. The more sulfur-rich your diet, the more sulfides and mercaptans will be produced by the bacteria in your guts, and the more your farts will stink. Foods such as cauliflower, eggs and meat are notorious for producing smelly farts, whereas beans produce large amounts of not particularly stinky farts.

 

Why do farts make noise?

 

The sounds are produced by vibrations of the anal opening. Sounds depend on the velocity of expulsion of the gas and the tightness of the sphincter muscles of the anus. Contrary to a popular misconception, fart noise is not generated by the flapping of the butt cheeks. You can see proof of this in the close-up video footage of Carl Plant's fart on Mate-in-a-State .

 

Why are stinky farts generally warmer and quieter than regular farts?

(Question submitted by many, many people!)

 

Most fart gas comes from swallowed air and consists largely of nitrogen and carbon dioxide, the oxygen having been absorbed by the time it reaches the anal opening. These gases are odorless, although they often pick up other (and more odiferous) components on the way through the bowel. They emerge from the anus in fairly large bubbles at body temperature. A person can often achieve a good sound with these voluminous farts, but they are commonly (but not always!) mundane with respect to odor, and don't feel particularly warm.

Another major source of fart gas is bacterial action. Bacterial fermentation and digestion processes produce heat as a byproduct as well as various pungent gases. The resulting bubbles of gas tend to be small, hot, and concentrated with stinky bacterial metabolic products. These emerge as the notorious, warm, SBD (Silent-But-Deadly), often in amounts too small to produce a good sound, but excelling in stench.

 

How much gas does a normal person pass per day?

 

On average, a person produces about half a liter of fart gas per day, distributed over an average of about fourteen daily farts. Whereas it may be difficult for you to determine your daily flatus volume, you can certainly keep track of your daily numerical fart count. You might try this as a science fair project: Keep a journal of everything you eat and a count of your farts. You might make a note of the potency of their odor as well. See if you can discover a relationship between what you eat, how much you fart, and how much they smell.

 

How does a fart travel to the anus?

(Question submitted by Sigfrido H.)

 

One may wonder why fart gas travels downward toward the anus when gas has a lower density than liquids and solids, and should therefore travel upwards.

The intestine squeezes its contents toward the anus in a series of contractions, a process called peristalsis. The process is stimulated by eating, which is why we often need to poop and fart right after a meal. Peristalsis creates a zone of high pressure, forcing all intestinal contents, gas included, to move towards a region of lower pressure, which is toward the anus. Gas is more mobile than other components, and small bubbles coalesce to from larger bubbles en route to the exit. When peristalsis is not active, gas bubbles may begin to percolate upwards again, but they won't get very far due to the complicated and convoluted shape of the intestine. Furthermore, the anus is neither up nor down when a person is lying down.

 

Why do farts come out of your butt?

(Question submitted by the Perry family)

 

The butt is the location of the anus in humans, and by definition, a fart is an anal escape of intestinal gas. We should be grateful that we are not crinoids. The crinoid is a marine creature with a U-shaped gut, and its anus is located next to its mouth.

 

How long does it take fart gas to travel to someone else's nose?

(Question submitted by SteF)

 

Fart travel time depends on atmospheric conditions such as humidity, temperature and wind speed and direction, the molecular weight of the fart particles, and the distance between the fart transmitter and the fart receiver. Farts also disperse (spread out) as they leave the source, and their potency diminishes with dilution. Generally, if the fart is not detected within a few seconds, it will be too dilute for perception and will be lost into the atmosphere forever.

Exceptional conditions exist when the fart is released into a small enclosed area such as an elevator, a small room, or a car. These conditions limit the amount of dilution possible, and the fart may remain in a smellable concentration for a long period of time, until it condenses on the walls.

 

Why is there a 13 to 20 second delay between farting and the time it starts to smell?

(Question submitted by B_read)

 

Actually, the fart stinks immediately upon emergence, but it takes several seconds for the odor to travel to the farter's nostrils. If farts could travel at the speed of sound, we would smell them almost instantly, at the same time we hear them.

 

Is it true that some people never fart?

No, not if they're alive. People even fart shortly after death.

 

Do even movie stars fart?

(Question submitted by Mermaid2006)

 

Yes, of course. So do grandmothers, priests, kings, presidents, opera singers, beauty queens, and nuns. Even Yoda farts. See the Britney Smears music video "Oops, I farted again."

 

Do men fart more than women?

(Submitted by Bigdude)

 

No, women fart just as much as men. It's just that most men take more pride in it than most women. There is a large variation among individuals in the amount of fart gas produced per day, but the variation does not correlate with gender.

I have read that men fart more often than women. If this is true, then women must be saving it up and expelling more gas per fart than men do.

 

Do men's farts smell worse than women's farts?

Based on what I have experienced of women's farts, all I can say is that I hope not. Scientific studies of farts show that women's farts have a higher concentration of odor-causing gases than men's farts, but men's farts have a larger volume. The two factors equalize out (the same number of stench molecules for both), so the odor is about the same.

[Khalaf]

Lee sis...not the Krispy Kremes my bad on dat...but the Rice Krispies treats have pork...um sure of it.

 

this:

 

 

peace

[Castro]

^ It does not contain pork. It contains gelatin type A which is not forbidden. Cut the rumors.

[Khalaf]

Castro sxb its not rumor...but fact...Rice Krispies have gelatin and marshmallows.

 

Muslims should be careful many products contain pork...even some toothpastes contains pork. Research yourselves...don't take my word for it. peace.

 

check out this: website

[Nephissa]

Okay, I am totally embarassed by this whole fart topic. I couldn't read the whole thing without turning completely red in the face. Gabadhu maxaa qaaday? Yes, I'm talking to you, waxba geesaha ha eeg eegin, dhuuso gaboowday adigaa ah. :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

 

That was just a warm up , good to have you back.

 

Dhuusadu waa iska caadi, mama used to tell me it's not healthy to hold one back. If ya gotta go, ya gotta go. Let'er rip. And if you think it's a really big one you may want to step aside a bit. Haday kaa fakato inta sii socotana you just look at the person next to you with indignation.

[facklexm]

Objection, this is not. You obviously don’t have high moral standards.

[Valenteenah.]

LoL.

 

Wlc back you.

 

 

Talking of farts:

 

The tube/trains in rush hour. Acuudu bilaah. Where's an oxygen mask when you need one? Gross.

[sheherazade]

Originally posted by facklexm:

Objection, this is not. You obviously don’t have high moral standards.

Poor morality gets dragged into fart-like discussions too. For Fart's Sake.