Hebel Posted October 16, 2003 1. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear. 2. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year. 3. All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to armpit level on a woman but only waist level on the man lying beside her. 4. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread. 5. It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down. 6. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving. 7. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty. 8. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do. 9. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris. 10. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. 11. When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare. 12. If you lose a hand, it will cause the stump of your arm to grow by 15cm. 13. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once. 14. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning, even though the husband and children never have time to eat them. 15. Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames. 16. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium. 17. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth. 18. All single women have a cat. 19. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant. 20. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one. 21. Creepy music coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated. 22. Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cuttings - especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident. 23. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involved martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessor. 24. During a very emotional confrontation, instead of facing the person you are speaking to, it is customary to stand behind them and talk to their back. 25. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish. 26. Dogs always know who's bad and will naturally bark at them. 27. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. 28. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch-enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers and man eating sharks that will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape. 29. Having a job of any kind will make all fathers forget their son's eighth birthday. 30. Many musical instruments - especially wind instruments and accordions - can be played without moving the fingers. 31. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off. 32. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting. 33. Make-up can safely be worn to bed without smudging. 34. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. 35. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps. AH! God bless America (I Looooooooooooooooove My TV) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Miskiin-Macruuf-Aqiyaar Posted October 16, 2003 Salaan... War Hebeloow, telefashin hakuu danbeeyee, naftaa ka waran horta? Teeda kalena dadkii asxaabtii ahaa intee ugu soo tagtay? Aawey Neefoow Kaniini? Aawey Kuusoow? Walaa Dacar?? Walaa MiM??? Walaa Mowliid Macaani??? Walaa Walaalkiin???Ar dadkii intee ku danbeyeen?? Yaa nool? Yaa qabeystay? Yaa hilfaha loo laabay? Duqa, dadkaan maku aqaanaan laakiin anigaa si fiican ku aqaano inaa ahayd one of the pioneers of Soomaali forums. Bilad Sharaf aa u qalantaa, idinkaa ahaydeen dadkii ugu horeeyi Soomaali forums on the net bilaaway. ________________ Macsalaama. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Curly Posted October 16, 2003 Lol...and there's another one I'm TOTALLY baffled about. Why is it in films, when the cast is watching TV it's always a Black and white film? :confused: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hebel Posted October 17, 2003 Dee Maskiin Macruuf Waryaa baan kuu aqaanee ma markii Somalia Online face-Lift loo sameeyey baad magacii bedeshoo magacan cusub isku dhiibtay? Sxb Aniga waan kuu nabad qabaa dadkiina "Walay" iga tahay inaan ka war hayn meel alaale iyo meel ay ku danbeeyaan aniga aduun baan ka war doonoo sidii feedh iyo laad la iigu waday baan imika asaasaqay. . . . . Sxb Warka isii. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Medley of extemporanea Posted January 5, 2004 19. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant. I actually found myself do this one time... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
