sofine Posted September 16, 2004 IT ALWAYS OCCURE TO ME WHAT WOULD A WOMAN....DO...IN NORTH AMERICA....WHEN THEY HAVE CHILDREN.....AND IT REALLY BOTHERS....TO A SENSE THAT...WHEN A SOMALIAN WOMEN HAS CHILDREN...MANY OF THE EDUCATED ONES ESPECIALLY...LEAVE THEIR CHILDREN WITH THEIR MOM...TO GO TO WORK....I'M NOT AGAINST WOMEN...WORKING...BUT ONE THING...DID IT EVER COME TO YOU'RE MIND THAT YOU'RE MOTHER ALREADY STRUGGLE WITH YOU AND YOU'RE SIBLINGS,.....AND THAT SHE SHOULD DESERVE A BREAK....I MEAN COME ON...STOP BEING SO CHEAP AND LEAVE TO A DAYCARE.....AS FOR ME...I'M AN EDUCATED GIRL....AND ONE DAY WHEN I HAVE CHILDREN INSHA ALLAH....I WON'T LET MY MOTHER TAKE CARE OF MYYYYYY CHILDREN....I REAPEAT.... BECAUSE HERE IS THE DEAL....IN NORTH AMERICA IN ORDER TO HAVE A GOOD STABLE INCOME...BOTH PARENTS MUST WORK RIGHT????....WHAT I WOULD DO INSHA ALLAH IS WORK FOR 3 YEARS BEFORE I GET MARRIED SAVE THE MONEY AND ONCE I GET PREGNANT TAKE A YEAR OFF WHILE I STILL GET MY BENEFITS... AND STAY WITH MY CHILD....WHILE MY HUSBAND WORKS...SO LADIES I WANT TO KNOW...CAUSE THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT TOPIC WE SHOULD ALL TALK ABOUT AND DISCUSS...THANKS Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pucca Posted September 16, 2004 I’d be a stay at home mom takin care of the brat for the first three years of his/her life, after those three years I’d drop him/her at the local daycare. I haven’t spent hours studying for nothing so daycare it is for him/her… as for my dear mother, well she’ll be in her vacation period by that time; livin her life and enjoyin it now that her kids have grown up. ta ta Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OG_Girl Posted September 16, 2004 No daycare period for my kids!. I can't leave my kids with totally strangers. My dream to get my PH D Insha Allah. He promised he will take care of the kids while I am in school after that I am lazy..No work for me , I will sit home watching TV Salam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bess. Posted September 16, 2004 sophine....great question.....like barambaro...i've not gone to school all this years to stay at home for the rest of my life....i'll be a stay at home mom until they go to daycare.....and i'll make sure that i'm home when they get home.....so....works for both of us...besides daycare is great, it prepares children for school..as long as u start at a reasonable age like 3 or 4 yrs. old, besides og-girl..u gonna have to leave them with strangers sooner or later when they start school anyway..unless u plan on keeping them at home...... respect Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pucca Posted September 16, 2004 wats the point of gettin a PhD if ur not goin to do anythin with it? i mean its great that ur gonna stay with ur kids but isn't that a waste of money? gettin a PhD aint cheap..well at least it aint here dont know bout the arab countries. ta ta Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Maymuunah Posted September 16, 2004 OG why the hassle sis of taking a PHD and not working.by the way you like watching a lot of tv huh? for me daycare isn't my thing. I heard a lot talks that kids that are left in a daycare catch colds and flue frequently so why would i take that risk.but i heard mothers who live around minneapolis area or i don't know any area that they are many somalis have the advantage of somali ladies specially old ladies( and are mostly relatives) daycaring their children while they are gone for work or school.what do you think about that guys.and they get paid btw. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dawoco Posted September 16, 2004 Sofine, you and many of the sisters that replied share my sentiment. My mother just enjoys taking care of her granchildren, when they come. She has a close relationship with them. I think now that she is a grandmother, it is more of a relaxed relationship to that which she had with us, her children. The worries and everyday struggle that she faced with us aren't present in that relationship, which makes it more enjoyable all around. It is all about spoiling and maing them happy and seeing the fruitation of her family. As for me, i wouldn't want to leave my children at home from early age. It is important to impart our religion and ethics on them while they are young enough and cant dispute. By the time they are six and can question you, it is too late, what with the schooling and all. Having said that, i'm sure that my future hubby will be of great help and won't leave the child rearing busines all to me, if so there is hell to pay for.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OG_Girl Posted September 16, 2004 Ok,girls, is not about working is about satisfying my curiosity and wanting to learn. I don’t need a PhD to get a job ..do I? Well, honestly, is all about prestige, is free I don't have to pay.Dad wants that so let him have it as long he pays for it. Sareedo, yes darling I am addicted to TV..even I am on the computer or studing the TV should be on with my favored Egyption series (mosalsal) Salam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
A7LA-SHU Posted September 16, 2004 Originally posted by OG_Girl: No daycare period for my kids!. I can't leave my kids with totally strangers. My dream to get my PH D Insha Allah. He promised he will take care of the kids while I am in school after that I am lazy..No work for me , I will sit home watching TV Salam girl tell them heheeh.. i wouldn't take my kids to daycare too.. heck nah... if i have kids while going to school or wanna work. and got moma around i wouldn't mind giving my mom the money to take care of my kids. if i don't got any family with me. i'll be more than happy to say home without headache with my cute kids.. Og-girl u got it. watching TV after i put the kid to sleep hehehe.. love it......... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Qac Qaac Posted September 17, 2004 I got question for all the ladies who said they wanna take their kids to day care.. have u guys ever wondered what's gonna happen to those kids' culture, religion, manners, akhalaaq, edaab.. don't u guys wanna be a mother for ur kids.. so spend some time with them.. unless u want ur kids to be more close to their day care lady than u. they will always know for u.. a busy person, career after.. workaholic.. and never have ties with them.. no matter how many things u buy for them. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bess. Posted September 17, 2004 plz...give me a break y'all...u teach ur children the essecials urself..the religion, the culture...u do that urself...as for catching the cold..they do that all on thier own from other various places...as simple as taking them to the hospital....and incase u were not "listening" b4...i suggested taking them there later in thier development stage just b4 they go out to school anyway...there is nothing wrong with daycares...it teaches children to get along with thier peers...and being cuddled by thier grandmothers....that brings nothing but spoilt children who can't be taken outside into the world...i've noticed that alot of somali ppl tend to raise their children a little too close to home...i want my children to be able to handle school when it is time for them to go out there....i want them to be fluent in wateva language they need.....somali and arabic at home and english at school, etc...i want them to be educated as soon as they can be.....i want to prepare my children for the world...not hide them from it...i intend to travel with them at a young age...show them the world...give them a place in it...how can u know what ur place is in the world if all u know is ur mom and grandma's bosoms ...i want alot of things for children and expect alot from them....and being raised by a grandma type of person or a clinging mom isn't one of them.... ps. my mother is not a nanny....she raised my siblings and i ....and i don't intend her last years to be spent chasing after my offspring....i want her to be in a state of suspended bliss for the rest of her days ...i want to care of my mom...as she took care of me while i needed her....it is her time to rest....i also have plans for myself and my husband...we plan on having careers and "lives"....i want my husbant to c me as something more than just the mother of his children, im not just a walking uterus :rolleyes: ...i also a have a brain and i plan on using it outside of my home...i want to be able to do anything i want...in my future...includes being a mom, a wife, a career person...and all kinds of other things a will add to it....and they don't include being a house for the rest of my life.... besides girls don't u have other aspiration...beside being a mother?....i do... peace Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pucca Posted September 17, 2004 I really don’t see the problem with daycares, my mother took my sisters and I to daycare and she would pick us up on her way home. I learned my culture, religion…okay so my Somali isn’t all that great but that aint because of daycare. i knew somali a lot better when I was younger its just that over the years it faded out. So if I went to daycare and turned out this good, then of course my kids will go there too. At the age of three is when I’ll take them to daycare by then they know how to talk, walk and so on. Kids younger than three shouldn’t be in daycares though. I wouldn’t trust anyone(except my mom) with my new born baby and the daycare staff have this little problem with leaving the dirty nappy on too long, which causes rashes. everyone’s got their own opinion on how to raise their kids, do as you wish. why aren't the guys offering to stay at home? its his child too. ta ta Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OG_Girl Posted September 17, 2004 Don't get me wrong, I have NO problems with daycares or who wants to take their kids there. As my grand dad always says "If you hear some one says I never do that or this means they did not need it" So my point I really don't need day care to take care my kids while I am in school.I came from big family.. grand parents, parents, uncles, Aunties, brother and sisters, plus first cousins ALL together.so I never thought about strangers take care of my kids ...I don't need it. My self My dad raised me and grand dad ,that is why I am so close to them than my mom. If you need it go for it. Salam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sofine Posted September 17, 2004 for all the ladies who replied to my question... i really thank all of you... to og-girl..taking phd...and staying home is nothing wrong with that...as long as you'll go in the health field once you're children grow up....to besbasso...i really like you're respone having children though should be every girl's Priority unless you can't bear one...don't get me wrong...i love my education...and working part time at my firm...but still...one day i want to be able to have kids,...to qacbaro... girl nothing is wrong with going to daycare...and i agree with you...it should be the parent's job to teach the culture,religion etc to the child....to magonnna-girl...if you're mom is happy having take care of you're kids... then do it babe...just as long as you don't make her think it's her obligation to do as you please...to dawoco and seerada....love you're response...take you're kids to take care and still be the best wife,mother,woman you can be... love Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NGONGE Posted September 17, 2004 ^^^^ Qacbaro is not a girl, dear. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
