How long does it take to get to know someone?

[chubacka]

Salaama Alaykum peeps,

 

This has been bothering me for a while an it seems the answer is different for everyone. but anyway...

 

How long do you think it takes to get to know someone?

Is there a time frame?

 

I would say min a year, if you are to trust and feel sure they are right for you could it be any less?

 

Anyway share your thoughts

 

Salaams

[-Lily-]

Chub,

 

I don’t think it’s about the quantity of time you spend with that person but the intensity of those experiences. You know how you sometimes meet people and you feel you’ve known them your whole life? Or how some people give you that feeling that you can trust them (not that you should straight away)?

 

I don’t think you can ever really KNOW anyone 100%, and that is not necessarily a bad thing. For example, how a person reacts to a single event can tell us so much more about them than 20 dates could. You have to be able trust their history and be fully reconciled with it. The main thing is that you know what you can expect from that person and that you can also predict their behavior fairly accurately.

[Jacaylbaro]

I need only one hour to know the person ,,,, just one hour without interruption.

 

It is not about how much time ,,, but it is about how you understand people.

[Blessed]

It depends on how open and honest you are to each other and the circumstance of your relationship, i.e do you know his friends, family? The more you know about the other persons background the easier and quicker it would be to analyse them in terms of trustworthiness, responsibility etc.

 

As far as time limits go, everyone is different but I personally wouldn't spend more than 6 months wondering about a guy.

 

Any time beyond that, I'd either be forcing the idea of him being right for me or he just wouldn't get my hints and bugger off.

[Ariadne]

to know an aspect of them 30 mins

to really know them a life time

[me]

Forever, people keep changing whenever you think you know them, they suprise you.

 

But the longer you knwo them, the better you can predict them, but even then your gambeling.

[Malika]

Chubaka,its all about what you want to know about that person,there are something you honestly dont want to know...like what noises he makes when he is in the toilet.

 

On a serious note;

 

In the begining of a relationship[courting] we are at our best to impress the other person and we start accepting each other the way we like to see each other..But gradually after marriage when we slip into our natural self,that time we have to accept each other as we are.To avoid contradictins in later time, it's important that when you love a person love him the way he is and not the way you want him to be.

 

 

Again ask question,try to find out what are his views on issues important to you,and listen attentively,at how he responds to your questions, read his body language too if he is trying to muffle his way out of topic he feels uncomfortable with..One thing for sure,its all about compatibility,the mind and soul one,once you that got all is set..well hopefully!

[Zafir]

Life time.

[Kool_Kat]

^^^I agree with you 100%...

 

You can only know someone enough, but not fully...Enough to trust them; enough to fall in love with them, etc...But it takes a life time to know everything (almost everything) about someone...

[Ibtisam]

Depends on what you want to know I guess.

 

Zenobia, 6months to marriage :eek: only if you like to gamble!

[NGONGE]

^^^ Did it in three

 

When the silly question of how long do I need to know him/her raises its ugly head it most probably means that he/she are not right for you! The questions you should really be asking yourself at this juncture should be:

 

Will he like my hair done in this new style? Should I do my fingernails or leave them natural? How long can I hold back before I call him again? Should I text him again even though I just did two seconds ago? What is he doing right this minute? Does he love me as much as I love him? Does he realise I'm head over heels into him?

 

Of course in the case of men the questions he'll be asking himself are all probably x-rated.

 

Still, all are silly questions and are infinitely much more interesting than the how long do I need to know him or her variety.

[Ibtisam]

^^^^Lol @three, you like jumping off a cliff without a safety net!

 

The rest of your post describes two teenagers lusting after each other. It has nothing to do with knowing someone. She asked about knowing someone.

 

 

Indeed all are silly questions :rolleyes:

[Nehanda]

Communication is the key to sussing out whether s/he is worth your time. Speak your mind no playing about the bush. It is best to say upfront what you expect from the relationship and if s/he do not accept your terms or refuse to compromise then say your adios.

To answer your q it is near impossible to fully know someone, experience at best gives us an inkling of their character. Mostly follow your instincts if you truly feel that s/he is compatible to you then take the risk. Most importantly pray to Allah for guidance.

[-Lily-]

Ghanima, people who have known each other for ages still get divorced. It depends on the individuals and how long is comfortable for them.

 

I think 2 questions are being confused here. How long till marriage or how long it takes for you to know that person is right for you. The latter should be farely soon.

[Pujah]

10mins and cup of chai latte later you should have a good impression of who he/she is and whether they are in line with what you’re looking for.

 

EDIT:

On a serious note anything more then 3-6 months is waste of ones time.