Self Preservation Society (aka Men’s Corner)

[SayidSomal]

Go wash your German bands, your boat race too

Comb your Barnet Fair we got a lot to do

Put on your Dickie Dirt and your Peckham Rye

Cause time's soon hurrying by

 

Get your skates on mate, get your skates on mate

No bib around your Gregory Peck today, eh?

Drop your plates of meat right up on the seat

 

This is the self-preservation society

This is the self-preservation society

 

Gotta get a bloomin move on

Babadab-babadabadab-bab-ba

Gotta get a bloomin move on

Babadab-babadabadab-bab-ba

Jump in the jam jar gotta get straight

Hurry up mate don't wanna be late

How's your father?

Tickety boo

Tickety boo

Gotta get a bloomin move on

 

Self-preservation society

This is the self-preservation society

Jump in the jam jar gotta get straight

Hurry up mate don't wanna be late

How's your father?

Tickety boo

Tickety boo

Gotta get a bloomin move on

 

The Self Preservation Society's Anthem

[SayidSomal]

Men, you may think we have an expert command of language, but when it comes to communicating with women, you may be surprised. Here is a dictionary of Womanese. Master these terms and you'll find your relationship with women greatly improved.

 

1. Fine! - I am right. This argument is over. You need to shut up.

 

2. That's Okay! - One of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think hard and long before deciding when and how you'll pay for your mistake.

 

3. Nothing! - The calm before the storm. This means "Something" and you better be on your toes. Note: Arguments that start with "Nothing" usually end with "Fine" (See #1).

 

4. Five Minutes - If getting dressed, this means half an hour. (Don't be mad about this. It's the same definition for us when it's our turn to do some chores around the house e.g. dishes.)

 

5. Thanks! - A woman is thanking you. Do not question this or faint. Just say, "You're welcome," and let it go.

 

6. Loud Sigh - Not actually a word but rather a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. It means she thinks you are an ***** and wonders why she is standing here wasting her time arguing with you about "Nothing." (See #3)

 

7. Go Ahead - This is a dare, not permission. (Don't Do It!)

 

8. Don't worry about it, I got it - The second most dangerous statement a woman can make. It means that a woman has asked a man several times to do something and is now doing it herself. (This will result in you asking at a later date, "What's wrong?" For the woman's response, see #3

[SayidSomal]

Thought for the Day

Married men should forget their mistakes. There is no need for two people to remember the same thing.

[MZanzi]

^^LoL

 

Same rule goes for the woman too....but it is difficult to forget as there is constant reminder and no escape....so one should learn to live with the mistake

[cynical lady]

:rolleyes:

[5]

You know, sometimes 'nothing' really means nothing. It's confused self-help advice like these that turn men into annoying little buggers

[Juxa]

i second CL

 

for ease of reference to those living in or around london use:

 

 

Eversheds = if husband has more than 2 internet shops and has business in carabaha

 

Khans = specially if marriage not registred and you have just the nikkah paper from mosque

 

Duncan lewis & Co = if husband is legit and has tracable assets

 

oh the above are legal firms by the way ( i like to be helpful)

[Nin-Yaaban]

Going off of the topic (Men's Preservation, Mens corner) I totally agree.

[Curly]

The question is do we want your way of life to be preserved?

[SayidSomal]

Fufu - one less thing to remember.

 

Cl - Keep rollin' rollin' rollin' rollin'

 

2+2=5 - somebody should tell you that 2+2 = 4.

 

You know,

sometimes

'nothing' really means nothing. It's confused self-help advice like these that turn men into annoying little buggers

sometimes being the operative word here - consequently 'majority' of the time "nothing" means something.

 

a guy called Juxa was in trouble, really big trouble. You see, he forgot his wedding anniversary and, if you're married, you can imagine what he's probably going through. His wife was really pissed.

 

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!" She was serious too, so Juxa got serious.

 

The next morning he woke up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped, right there in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife threw her robe on and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house and opened in with much anticipation.

 

Inside she found a brand new bathroom scale. Juxa has been missing since Thursday. what law firm should i go to complain about my friend's disappearance.

 

Ninyaaban - sing with me: this is the 'self preservation society'.

 

 

Curly - mutually; we don't care about what you want?

[MAXIMUS POWERS]

Isnt the best way to liberate females to treat them as equals. Why then is there a womens section on SOL. For that same reason, perhaps there should also be a men sections.

[Curly]

^^^Not this again!

 

The feeling is mutual SS and in the words of Scott Adams the Dilbert comic strip creator...

 

"let me show you something on this map. - See this tiny island? Yes. That's where the people who care live."

[SayidSomal]

What man must do, to make a woman happy:

Compliment her;

respect her;

honor her;

cuddle her;

caress her;

love her;

kiss her;

stroke her;

buy things for her;

tease her;

comfort her;

protect her;

hug her;

hold her;

spend money on her;

wine and dine her;

listen to her;

care for her;

stand by her;

support her;

hold her.

 

What a woman does to make a man happy: show up

cook food

 

 

is that fair guys??

[sheherazade]

We are already liberated, dude. A man chose to have a Woman's section. Take it up with him.

[Ibtisam]

What is with these calcal threads and complains about women these days;

 

Guys it is really simple; you cannot change Women as a whole, so just find ONE that agrees with your twisted logic and can deal with your continuous moaning and calca. Then save the rest of us the lectures.

 

Girls:

Keep away from guys like the ones who post these threads is SOL.

 

P.s. Most of them are normal and change the children’s nappies, cook, clean and take off their wife’s shoes and massage her feet in real life, they just like to appear dysfunctional in front of each other. Ninkasta oo adage his wife ba ka adage.