Silver Posted November 28, 2008 How honest are you guys with your friends? Best friends? My best friend is making a very big mistake (I believe) and all she wants is my support and doesn't want to hear any kind of critism or negative view. She's been seeing a guy her parents disapprove of for a while now and they want to elope without both their parents' knowledge in a couple of days. Everytime I try to tell her she's being ******, she gets angry and doesnt want to hear it. In my opinion - a true friend does not support you without question. You have to deserve support. I'm not going to support your choices or lie to you and say what you want to hear but I guess some people look at it like that. What's the point of being a best friend if the relationship is a lie and you can't tell how you really feel? this stinks Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jacaylbaro Posted November 28, 2008 It is not her or him to listen to you ,, you just need to tell what you think is right and move on. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted November 29, 2008 ^^ good point another thing about suppporting a friend is supporting within reason when you see them doing something that is um ... ******, thoughtless, hurtfull it is up to the friend to let them know... what your doing is not right... in laymans terms and if they listen to you or not is entirely up to them Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaliyyah Posted November 29, 2008 Well sister you have to be honest with your best friends. It’s usually the other way around and you are not direct with people you don't know that much. But, when it comes with people who are very close to you whom you have very close relationship and you care about very much. Then, it is essential that you are honest with them. Otherwise, how can you claim to be their friend. A friend is someone who advices you and corrects you whenever he/she sees you going on the wrong path or screwing up your life. So, you have to do your job and be honest with your friend. Don’t support her on this issue when you clearly know it’s wrong and unislamic. But, at the same you need to draw the line. Your job is to go out of your way and tell her whats right. Once she goes she doesn’t want to hear your say, you have to let it go. She’s an adult and she will make her choice in life. That’s what happens in life ya ukhti you can not correct everyone and it hurts I know seeing someone you love just wasting their life away. But what can you do sis? Your job as a friend and as a muslim sister is to preach and learn your limit, that you can’t live for others and impose your opinions.. Hope that helps Salaam. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Queen Arawello Posted November 29, 2008 ^^She won't listen to her own parents, why would she listen to someone else? Topic maker, tell her...salanka iska tuur! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaliyyah Posted November 29, 2008 Usually people would be closer to their friends than parents (i.e like they would think their parents don't understand them) . So, perhaps she might listen to her best friend or maybe not. Like I said if she doesn't listen to her then what the girl who posted this should do is let the girl make up her mind. Anyhow, that girl is making a huge mistake. How can you cut ties with your own family. They are the ones that at the end of the day matter. For all we know after a month he's gonna tell her " go to hell" ,,,xagee iska doonasa?bal ii sheeg...I would say your friend should try to get her parents approval, and maybe get the local imams involved. Unless the brother is bad and her parents have justified reason to disapprove this marriage. In that case they are looking out of her. But, some people are not wise enough to understand whats right, they have to go through it... lol@ slaanka iska tuur..xasid sanidaa walaaley. qofkasta adoo kale la iska soo qada and you have to go out of your way and advice..bt advice is just an advice and at the end of the day that person will make their decision. salaaam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Queen Arawello Posted November 29, 2008 ^^Did you not read what she wrote, I quote 'They want to elope without both their parents' knowledge in a couple of days' wtf, this ain't no filim hindi :rolleyes: Miskinad iyo nus ba tahay ...If I had a friend like that, i'd say 'magaladha meel ka fadhiso hadi kale, farta dhaxe iya ka qaninii' Mind my af somali. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaliyyah Posted November 29, 2008 what do you mean did I read it???? wasn't my whole post based on that. Like the fact that she should advice her friend? ...just cuz your friend wants to do something doesn't mean he/she will do it. A lot of times people are just bluffing. So, you just have to advice them, and if they go along with it, its their life right at the end of the day it will affect no one but them. salaam... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kamaavi Posted November 29, 2008 .......zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kool_Kat Posted November 29, 2008 Originally posted by quranjo: What's the point of being a best friend if the relationship is a lie and you can't tell how you really feel? this stinks What's the point of being a best friend if you're airing your best friend's private issues on a public forum? This stinks...Really... Waxaan maqli jiray 'kuu sheekeeye kaa sheekeye hala sheekeysan'... As for best friends, they usually be there for their friends when everyone else seem to turn their backs...They listen and don't judge...They give advice and let the person decide on what to do without jeopardize the friendship...She doesn't have to listen to you, she is following her heart and that's what anyone in-love does...So instead of airing her person life to us, pls be a friend for her and be there... Ciao Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
