Would You Allow Your Husband to....

[Tuujiye]

Shoobaro i thought you weren't married man.. daaaamn you sound like a married man.

 

Waraa ani gabdho best friends lama ihi see camal adi. Nin gabar best friend la ah bidixda lee buu ka laafyoda ma maqlin miyaa . waraa ani gabdhaha friends baan la ahay not best friends. My best friend waxaa waye baaba fanax iyo labadiisa cilin madaxa weyn.

 

Discreat sorry I stole the word before you said it. Booyeesa noo shaqeen jiray aan tuug nimada ka bartee sida uu islaanta cadar keeda u dhiitinaaye.

 

 

wareer badanaa!!!

[BORN_BRANIAC]

Originally posted by Discreet1:

quote:Allah created Male and Female for Intimate Companionship aka SEX and Kids

You cant be Serious, is that what the male and female relationship is limited to ?.

 

Besides friendship can take many forms

i agree with u Discreet, and to kheyr having friends for the oppsite sex is not allowed in our Deen But still i will ppl calling them self true muslim still doing it so plz don't give the speech about that not allowed cuz these days i seen worst ands having a friend from the opposite is is one of the simplest thing that ppl do..

[Rahima]

I don't think there is such a thing as friendship between people of the opposite sex. There must be an interest from one party in order to maintain the relationship as friends.

 

The interest is usually maintained by the help of the third party...sheitan.

Spot on!

[Haboon]

Salaam

 

Cute girl just because far worse things are taking place amongst muslims doesn't mean that friendship between opposite sex should not be frowned upon.

[Salafi_Online]

posted by Kheyr: Cute_lilgirl the fact that you even pose such a question and are a muslim just DON'T MIX too well

 

 

what is Haram is clear and what is Halal is clear, and talking to the oppose Sex without your Walee's permission is Haram Period, and just because Fulan FUlan does it, doesnt make it permissable!

[Rising Phoenix]

*shakes her head* There's some "funny" replies on here for sure!

 

What's all this "allowing" business? Doesn't your husband have a mind of his own? Would you like him dictating who you can be friends with?

 

Frankly, I wouldn't give a d@mn. If you can't trust him, why you with him?

 

I myself have several close friends, both male and female. I've never had a problem being friends with someone from the opposite sex, in fact, sometimes I prefer it. There's none of that silly jealousy thing that a some (I said "SOME") females have. Also, the guys I know have a straight-forward, no-nonsense manner that I quite like (in a FRIENDSHIP WAY!!!).

 

Why do some people assume that being friends with someone of the opposite sex will lead to having sex? Ever heard of CONTROL? Or are those who cant keep that friendship just plain on the lookout for some "nookie" all the time???

 

But I must say, my absolute best friend is a guy. And oh *shock gasp horror* he's not even SOMALIAN!!!

 

(Dang, I must really be bad :rolleyes: )

[Salafi_Online]

Why do some people assume that being friends with someone of the opposite sex will lead to having sex?

its Simply Forbidden thats all, whether you enjoy it or not! Wheter it lead to SEx or not! suppose one asked, if you eat the flesh of Swane? All the muslim here will say no! and if asked "why" they would reply,"because its Haram" Well that goes for talking to the opposite SEX as well!

[Tuujiye]

one asked, if you eat the flesh of Swane? All the muslim here will say no! and if asked "why" they would reply,"because its Haram" Well that goes for talking to the opposite SEX as well!

:confused: :confused: :confused:

 

Waraa were did you get this hadith?

 

Salafi sxb becareful man you know most people in here are not Salafis so please don't confuse people. Make your points clear. The way your giving dacwa is not right sxb. All the people in here are not at the same level when it comes to the religion. So my brother think about your readers before you write and don't expect them to understand your point right away.

 

 

wareer badanaa!!

[Salafi_Online]

^^^^ lol brother do u eat pork? its haram right! every muslim will say that they dont eat pork because its haram, well talking to the opossite sex is just as Haram!thats what i was trying to get at! sorry for the confusion!

[Qac Qaac]

talking to the opposite sex all, any kind of talk is haram brother, even in schools when u need some assignment, or u can't say assalamu calaykum to a girl, can u talk to the one who u have the same project. brother salafi online say is haram for a woman to talk to a man with soft voice that would lead them to sex. but not any kind ot talk is haram. hana waalin macalinka, maybe i misunderstood u. correct me if i did.

[Salafi_Online]

Talking to the Opposite Sex

 

1) A woman can speak to men/men can talk to a women out of necessity, such as for conducting a business transaction, or conveying religious knowledge. The wives of the prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) used to relate knowledge to the Companions. They used to do it from behind a curtain, and although women other than them are generally not subject to the same strict codes, the scholars have said that if a sister is giving a regular class to brothers (and similarly if a brother is giving a class to sisters), there should be a curtain or some other separation between them. This is based on experience, for if a class is given on an on-going basis, it is very possible and almost inevitable that some kind of fitnah (e.g. development of some attachment between a brother and a sister) may result in the absence of a curtain. Imam al-Shafi`i had around 200 women teachers, and studied from them from behind a curtain.

 

2) As for casual conversation, without a need, this is forbiden, this is surely opening the door to greater fitnah and will almost inevitably lead to Zina of the tongue.

 

"Allah has written for Adam's son his share of adultery which he commits inevitably. The adultery of the eyes is the sight (to gaze at a forbidden thing), the adultery of the tongue is the talk, and the inner self wishes and desires and the private parts testify all this or deny it." [bukhari (8)74:260]

 

3) If a woman does speak to a man who is neither her husband nor her maHram (permanently non-marriageable kin) then the two may not be alone, for otherwise the third of them is Satan. This applies even if the man is her brother-in-law, and in fact even more so, for the Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, "The brother-in-law is death." [bukhari] Further, scholars have deduced that the man and woman may not be alone with a third (non-maHram) man, but they can be with another woman.

 

4) If a woman does speak to a man (and vice-versa), it should be straightforward speech, and for a reason not mere Idle talk, for exceeding the limits of necessity opens the door to Satan.

 

the woman should make sure her voice is not soft and alluring. "And be not soft in speech lest he in whose heart is a disease be moved with desire." [Qur'an, 33:32]

 

and a man should not make his voice soft and alluring when speaking to a sister due to necessety!

[Sincere]

Salafi...Thank for the clarification

[Passion_4_Fashion]

afkaaga caano geel lagu qabayay Khayr!!

[OG Moti]

Did you say the word ALLOW? ALLOW? ALLOW?

walahi war cusub and we wonder why devorce is increasing in our society...our women think they own the man once they say i do... ALLOW bey tiri... Somali men dont like to be told what to do..this assured my worries that our women are becoming to see us as their belongings... Cajiib walee allow bey tiri... the question should more likely be "Would you allow your wife to have friendship with a man...? peace Allow kulahaa...

[LayZie G.]

Cute-Lil-G,your question has turned to a rather amusing discussion.

 

To answer your question, yes, I would allow it, I doubt it would make a difference, but he will have my blessings if he had honest friends...(male/females)

 

What I think on the subject of friendship between both genders is rather complicated matter altogether.

 

I, unlike some of you here who have had so much to say, with so little experience... actually had opportunity to experience what it feels like to have male friendship, more than one occasion.("some of you" eg....khayr, shoobaro or whatever your name might be, that is whom I am referring to)

 

I've had good experiences with male friends but it didn't end happily ever after on some. The reason for that is because, it ended up being that my male friend happen to develop feelings for me, one time or another... at some point of the beginning of our friendship, he figured by being my friend long enought would lead to more than friendship, and turn to relationship or what not...(One dude actually stopped being my friend, and decided it was either us being a couple or it would be difficult for him to see me dating, where as the one I am referring to actually understood it, and just took it like a man)

 

It took a while to find out, but when he did come out and explain his intentions and what he wanted, which was Me, I had to tell him, regardless of our friendship, I was honest enough to tell him I wasnt interested in him that way, nothing more than friendship and I would understand if he would stop being my friend because of it...(this male friend was actually very understandable, and he said, no harm in asking right)

 

I happen to be someone who picks her friends very carefully, and I happen to pick few good male friendship and vice versa, whom were more of a gentlemen than anyone of you can ever be and the fact is, they just couldnt help themselves, but doesnt mean they were any less interested in my friendship, they viewed my frienship with high regards, and until this day, we are still friends, but had the truth not come out, it probably would have ended differently, and we wouldnt still be friends....but because he had confidence to come out and tell me, made me respected him more,and ofcourse it was awkward at first,but we went back to being ourselves , and I am very proud of that fact.

 

 

All in all, I think it is possible to develop friendship from the opposite sex, but its complicated, and not so easily maintained as it would for the same sex friendship.(it takes honesty, trust, and understanding to maintain friendship from the opposite sex)

 

 

Back to the matter of friendship from the opposite sex b eing "haram".

 

I'm not gonna get into a long discussion about what is haram and what isnt. Its only haram if you think you are doing things you shouldnt be doing.(if you dont the trust and have zero confidence to get along with the opposite sex, because you think you might do things that are haram and forbidden, then you shouldnt be making friends period)

 

 

On the matter about "allowing" as Og moti put it lightly, no, no one can give orders or rules to follow, especially if its marriage...

 

What you have to understand moti is that, no one brought up that argument about men being allowed, and who cares if you are a somali man for that matter, what does it matter if u are chinese, no one cares....the important thing is, marriage shouldnt be about control or dictatorship...we are not living in a communist world, where we have to dictate what our other half is doing or shouldnt do, or where to eat, or how to dress, or who to look....if u are married, or you are in a relationship, just live it, enjoy it and if it works, it works, if it doesnt, because of infidelity, so what???