NGONGE Posted June 18, 2007 Originally posted by Jolie Femme: If she got married to him while he was married & had kids and now wants to move him away to live with her...I'm sorry but that's evil to break up a family like that (if I got the situation right). Heh! You little drama queen Thousands of Somali men leave their wives back home to go and look for a job abroad. They've done it for centuries and they're still doing it now. In fact, I actually suspect that the concept of family, in the way you imagine, does not exist in Somalia. There is nothing to break. Needs must! If the man's wife in Europe can get him the sharci and move him away to the lands of milk and honey so that he's able to send his wife in Africa and his children the most sought after beeeel, I would actually consider this lady (the Europe wife) a saint rather than an evil person. You girls have turned into a group of middleclass blue-eyed Westerners. Love the way you try to impose your values on this quintessential Somali couple. On this occasion, I daresay that even Khayer would agree with me on the application of moral relativism. Ps Pointless gossip is no good. Tell her to phone her husband. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
- Femme - Posted June 18, 2007 ^In a best case scenario. Mostly, from what I see, men who move to live with their (new) wife in west leave their old one back home or kenya/dubia etc. I don't call once in a couple of months visit a marriage or fatherhood. Your too optimistic. I shouldn't comment in this because I have no knowledge of anything in this case...but generally speaking, that's how it goes. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
- Femme - Posted June 18, 2007 What's with the eye roll lily? So unbecoming of you Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
-Lily- Posted June 18, 2007 Jolie, clearly it's such a pathetic situation to be in. You either accept being a second wife, shut up and get on with it or you be strong. I've heard enough of maritial calacal lately. It doesn't seem worth the effort. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
- Femme - Posted June 18, 2007 Well, these posts are always good I think. Any woman reading this who holds a romantic vision of being second wifey hopefully will think twice. If such people still exist. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Warrior of Light Posted June 18, 2007 Certainly, they exist or else this topic wouldnt be posted. Problem is love is blind, femme. You may give her valuable advice and she want take heed. New adventure leading to another twist> live and learn the hard way. Well, life is what you make of it, its all about choices. c'est la vie! la vie est pleine de surprises! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted June 18, 2007 ohmigosh!!!!!!!!! That actaully happened well I can't say names or dates or places but he was married to a woman first and then had kids with her and travelled and then met another woman and bought her to another country and had a lot of kids with her and no one knew he had a wife and other kids in an another country Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pujah Posted June 18, 2007 If her decision for asking for a divorce solely rests on her biological clock ticking I am left to wonder why she cannot go to Africa to be with him for a while to try and get pregnant. If she has other valid reasons like not loving him anymore than she should go for divorce…and no there is nothing dambi about asking for a divorce…she has every right to do so but she should think about the consequences first. My two cents Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sheherazade Posted June 18, 2007 Put up or shut up. that's to both the man and woman cause talking is about all either is up to. OouuCC. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Adna Posted June 18, 2007 Salaam ^^My question is , did she knowingly marry the man knowing he had a wife,kids and lives in another continent or did he get married to the other wife after they got married, and his sponsor wasnt sucessful? There are many Very Good questions that some of had raised, and i will try to some it all up. Let me Say Thank you All very much i really appriciate all the insight. to answer above question. first, she married the guy knowingly he was married and had a punch of kids. she has gone to africa twice so far, and you know how travel expenses are. she applied the sharci staff and yes it's been nothing but heache,or unsucessfull; however, the guy is unwillingly not wanting to do what it takes, to get here and be with this desbrate women. please don't get me worng, but sometimes i'm confused with this situation too. the sad thing is that she very sucessfull sis BSN RN and has very decent job not to mension she in her mid twenties. so i personally sometimes don't get the situation, as all of you would think, but anyhow, i will try to check back latter to answer some more ???. thanks Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nephissa Posted June 19, 2007 Maybe the wife in Africa makes his heart dance in a such wonderful way, and wouldn't trade her for all the sharci in the world or Miss "sucessfull sis BSN RN and has very decent job not to mension in her mid twenties" for that matter! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malika Posted June 19, 2007 Originally posted by Adna: Salaam quote: ^^My question is , did she knowingly marry the man knowing he had a wife,kids and lives in another continent or did he get married to the other wife after they got married, and his sponsor wasnt sucessful? There are many Very Good questions that some of had raised, and i will try to some it all up. Let me Say Thank you All very much i really appriciate all the insight. to answer above question. first, she married the guy knowingly he was married and had a punch of kids. she has gone to africa twice so far, and you know how travel expenses are. she applied the sharci staff and yes it's been nothing but heache,or unsucessfull; however, the guy is unwillingly not wanting to do what it takes, to get here and be with this desbrate women. please don't get me worng, but sometimes i'm confused with this situation too. the sad thing is that she very sucessfull sis BSN RN and has very decent job not to mension she in her mid twenties. so i personally sometimes don't get the situation, as all of you would think, but anyhow, i will try to check back latter to answer some more ???. thanks Interesting scenerio,but not the least strange situation your friend finds herself in.One thing is very clear,is the man isnt bothered,your friend need to get the message..they say,believe people once they show themselves to you..dont sugar coat,nor make excuses.The man has clearly shown his committment to his other wife,and children which is darn right!!.As for your friend she knew the score in the first place,he was already married,what was she expecting he leave his family for her? tst,tst...She might have been his bit on the side,and for religious reason he married her..hard truth eey! Nevertheless,your friend as sucessful as she is,she needs to start loving herself a tad bit more,value herself and seek what is rightfully hers...a happy,fulfilling relationship with someone that is available to her.Life isnt a reharsal,this is it folks!,she got to let go of him,or join him in Africa...but cant hang around waiting in the wings for ever...why waste time, how precious time is!! my two cents of advice! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaliyyah Posted June 19, 2007 There are many Very Good questions that some of had raised, and i will try to some it all up. Let me Say Thank you All very much i really appriciate all the insight. to answer above question. first, she married the guy knowingly he was married and had a punch of kids. she has gone to africa twice so far, and you know how travel expenses are. she applied the sharci staff and yes it's been nothing but heache,or unsucessfull; however, the guy is unwillingly not wanting to do what it takes, to get here and be with this desbrate women. please don't get me worng, but sometimes i'm confused with this situation too. the sad thing is that she very sucessfull sis BSN RN and has very decent job not to mension she in her mid twenties. so i personally sometimes don't get the situation, as all of you would think, but anyhow, i will try to check back latter to answer some more ???. thanks Marrying a brother in Africa who is married and got bunch of kids? That is absurd. What was your friend thinking??? :rolleyes: walahi I find it hilarious picturing your friend begging a married guy in Africa to leave his family behind. I am glad the sponsorship didn’t work; he has kids back home and will see to his responsibility. Besides, what is the probability that he actually married her cuz he cares about her? ...I would have assumed he married her to be sponsored, bt then, couldn't live with being far from his family. Tell your friend to find another man who lives in the same country and isn’t attached. Wa salaamu alaikum Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Crystal_Clear Posted June 19, 2007 WHy did she got married to a married man first place. Caajeeb! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
