Abyan Posted April 4, 2003 Waan idin salamaay horta salaan kadiib i just want ya´ll to help me with this issue.... I met this guy and we´ve been together for a time, at first things were just great(It´s always like that at the beginning of the relationships.)Then nowadays ive noticed that he started to be incontroll, for example controlling what i wear and such stuff. We both have a hot temper which is not good but i on the other hand respect his choices. I dont try to controll him. I really have feelings for this guy but the thing is i dont like the way he is (trying to be in controll.)I beleive that you cannot change someone and if he really is that way and i dont like it, do i just throw away everything we worked for?? :confused: I really need your advice Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LadyMo Posted April 4, 2003 Hey sis I believe it depends on wat sort of stuff he tells u to wear! I mean is it for ur own good or not? If it is then u kno urself dat u shud probably do it 1day or another but u need to let him kno dat u'll do it in ur own time and u dont need him to tell u wats good and wats bad! I used to have a hot temper but trust me I hate arguin wiv my other half. I have undoubtly changed since I started datin him but not because he wanted me to but it sort of just happened wiv time & I also believe he's changed a lil. But no 2 ppl will fit together like a puzzle first time round I mean u mite have bare things in common and stuff but u gotta sacrifice in order to make ur relationship last. U cant always b de same u. I kno u said dat u respect his choices and things but I believe dat u shud tell him if there's anythin u dont like, he doesnt HAVE to giv it up but once he realizes how it affects u, he'll truly stop but b PATIENT everythin doesnt happens overnite and if they do it will take a lil while until the effect is noticed or felt by u. Communication is the most important thing always be honest wiv him and tell him how u truly feel, also tell him u dont like him bossin u around by tellin u wat to do! Everything needs commitment walaal u cant just give up on ur relationship b'coz of dis, I mean dats if u really care about him coz in relationships things like dis will happen and often, u just gotta built up sumthin sort of like an immune system if u kno wat I mean to deal wiv lil thing like dis. Neva loose ur temper its not worth it sis coz once u do u aint in control of urself so u cant make proper judgements. Last but not least be strong. PM me if u need any clarifications or if u hav any other questions I'll be happy to help. Love ur sis ExDane Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shyhem Posted April 4, 2003 Originally posted by Sulekha: do i just throw away everything we worked for?? :confused: I really need your advice I worked for,may i ask which part of the relationship u worked for, if u can't solve a simple problem like that.All i can say is that u'r azz is in trouble and u need bail money. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Faarax-Brawn Posted April 4, 2003 Shyhem,Brotha WHY ARE ALWAYS NEGATIVE?,HELP THE SISTA IF NOT DONT BE NEGATIVE SISTA,IF THE CHANGE IS FOR UR OWN GOOD,THEN IT FEELS GOOD TO LYSTEN SOMETINMES,PEEPLE DONT BE LIKED TO BE TELLED SOMETHING,AND ITS NATURE THAT MAKES US THA WAY,SO I SAGGEST FOR ONCE JUST LISTEN TO HIM,MAYBE HE WILL STOP TELLING YOU. IN OTHER WORDSM, PLAY REVERSE SYCHOLOGY,OK BYE BYE AND MAY ALLAH PLESS U Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Xafsa Posted April 4, 2003 sulekha girl even if you end this relationship and move on to another one...you will find something about the next guy that you don't like. So girl just sit and think about it...is this something you can deal with? how important is this realtionship to you?..ask your self.....also trying telling him how you feel and see why he does what he does. peace and luv Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CadNaaN Posted April 5, 2003 hi it's me suleykha my name is osman live in uk i really really upset me how u r really near to be broken heart but reality i is he feeling how u r feeling for him if it's (ye) u can really really hang on ur self his behaviour including controling by the way if he is not feeling say to him get ride of me and found some else. take care sister wish u good luck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SuNsHyNe Posted April 8, 2003 "Relationships" here are rule that me and my girls have come up with... if your are uncomfortable with anything, if you cannot be yourself when your with a man/woman(for example in your situation), if things are not how it used to be, like the begining..then your in the wrong relationship. The only advice I can give you here is, you either change for him and maintian the relationship to a level that your "comfortable" or can you can talk to him and explain to him why you want to change. Perhaps he is serious about you (which can be good thing) Or finally you can end the relationship and find someone that you can be "comfortable" with. GOOD LUCK!! (let us know how you get on)! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
A7LA-SHU Posted April 8, 2003 shamsa any chance u write books for relationships that i can read lol... coz dym i thought i was the queen of dat drama stuff. girl i give u two thumps up.... keep that up... and for the poster next time u have problem just run to shamsa's house is open 24/7 lol.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SuNsHyNe Posted April 9, 2003 Thanks Magnoona-girl, perhaps we can write something together!! LOL!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LadyMo Posted April 9, 2003 Shamsa I like wat u said & I believe they are valid to some degree yet when Im wiv my man I aint myself- I'm ten times stronger Things aint wat they used to be- they are a million times better! I am wat I am today because of Allah(SWT) my parents brilliant upbringing & my own self and 2moro I'll b wat I am 2day plus wat my man has brought out in me! In contrary to wat u wrote Im a firm believer in de fact dat I am in de relation Allah (SWT) intended me to be in for de rest of my life! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
