Marriage Dilemmas Other Connected Considerations...

[Chocolate and Honey]

No offence but it stopped making sense to me at "the younger the better in terms of age." This whole post stinks of superiority complex. It already seems to me that YOU already rejected the idea of her but YOU are talking yourself into it hence "inner struggle." Do yourself a favor and drop this "better than though" attitude. There is nothing wrong in seeking someone who is as learned and commited to her diin as you but come on! Even better Do her a favor and LEAVE HER ALONE :rolleyes:

[Ducaysane]

C&H,

Yaa ina abti kaa xanaajiyey.

[Che -Guevara]

^Nac nac qori aad udiide noh

[Miskiin-Macruuf-Aqiyaar]

Originally posted by Che -Guevara:

^Nac nac qori aad udiide noh

I hope you don't really mean what I think you implied. No way.

[Haneefah]

^What do you think he means by that?

 

Abu-Salman, firstly, I would highly recommend seeing your spiritual advisor/mentor if you haven't already done so. You have legitimate concerns with which I think only a learned mentor who knows you quite well will be able to assist.

 

Secondly, communicate your real concerns to your mother. You can voice your own preferences while still being respectful and sensitive to hers.

 

In addition to that, though I don't know you at all, you come across as someone who could benefit from taking this process as an opportunity to learn about their own self, through Islamic lenses. Perhaps this dilemma is a test from Allah subhanahu watacala for you to refine the equation that involves just you initially, as this issue might bring to surface qualities you weren't aware you had (or to re-examine the ones you already had), and once you feel comfortable with this, perhaps incorporating other variables into the equation wouldn't be a very difficult process. This is just a thought!

 

May Allah guide you to the best decision.

[Faarax-Brawn]

her reasons were that she was both religious and physically attractive

What is the dilema here?---*Nevermind*, i see it further down the post.

 

Despite being much more open-minded than the norm when it comes to clanish/regional differences, I usually struggle to communicate as well as being understood by average Somalis (or non-Somalis for that matter),