Help Create A Better Somalia, Share Your Husband

[Nur]

From The Archives:

 

Dedicated To Sheherzade and Castro

 

 

Nomads

 

 

I am reposting this old topic to gage responses a year later, may be last years commentators had a change of mind, may be someone had an experience, a negative or a positive one.

 

The letter is fictitious, and so are the names and the organization, but the message is intended to bring to light the bitter options of a changing times, when religion, politics and econmocs collide scattering Nomads around the globe, for some, the internet being their only advisor and mentor. Slight editing is done on the original.

 

 

A Letter To A Married Somali Lady

 

 

Dear Somali Housewife.

 

We are the members of the Somali Women for Meaningful Marriages ( SWMM) an organization that was created to confront and find a solution to a growing social problem, deeply rooted on conflicts between modern day and living our faith, a problem that needs an urgent solution.

 

The Problem

 

An Imbalance of Desirable Somali Bachelors and Bachelorettes

 

 

Who We Are?:

 

We are an organization of Single Somali Women living abroad, to give you a glimpse of the profile of our members, our members have:

 

1. Very High IQ ( based on our accademic accomplishment)

 

2. High Moral Character ( Never to consider other alternatives)

 

3. Highly Educated ( To Keep Us Busy)

 

4. High Income ( Compared To avaerage Faarax)

 

5. Highly Committed to Our Faith (Active In Community Centers).

 

On top of the above, some of our members can scare away potential suitors for their exceptional good looks, If they were not committing to their faith, these ladies could hypnotize any man including your husband, but they wouldn't for Allah's sake

 

Analyses:

 

As a result of the Civil war, many of our members have immigrated to distant lands, like Australia and Canada, and since many men lost their lives in the civil war, the net result was an imbalance of eligible bachelors, more eligible Somali women than men, add to that another problem , the quality of the remaining Somali men is dwindling to the lowest levels as many of them do not practice Islam. This led them to take advantage of the imbalance, and as a result the remaining handful live on as parasites on the hard work of some of the professionally fulfilled Somali women like you.

 

The bottom line is a situation of very few and talented Somali men on the bachelor pool who are immediately picked by non Somali Muslim sisters as well as Somali sisters, leaving many sisters like us to choose between difficult choices ( Like acepting marryiage offers from Non Somali men ) .

 

In a recent Somaliaonline.com / Islam pages Social Survey, respondents have aired their frustrations and opinions, here are the results and the choices, including the e-Nuri Social Research Center's Formula; the choices were:

 

1. Choosing to live single for ever ( Sophist Theory Of Celibacy) but we are no Catholic nuns.

 

2. Compromising on our Deen and accepting any Faarax , hoping we can change him. ( taking the risk that he will change us)

 

3. Doing Haraam, ..............................................................................XaashaaLillah.

 

4. Sharing you with your hubby ( who was identified by our group to be desirable mate) ( The Nurtel Social Engineering Formula)

 

 

Dear Sister

 

Before you tear this letter apart out of anger and curse us by calling us exotic names such as " %$#@*&^&$%* " " Balaayooy kaalay, Ma haddaa ninkeygana la iiga daba yimid "

 

Before yelling, Think, if you were in our situation, which option would you want for yourself now, after knowing and enjoying the natural FITRAH of being a mom and holding a baby in your arms saying " Hurdooy , hurdooy kaalay " Think sis, we want the same for ourselves.? are we asking too much?

 

 

What we suggest :

 

Our research department shows that the income bracket of your husband can support three wives, so we are nominating two highly educated sisters in our organization who will add a lot of value to your husband and yourself in every sphere of your lives, we will make sure that he treats all equal and that in economical terms we can mutually better our quality of lives in this world and prepare for a better life to come in Jannah.

 

 

The Two Candidates are :

 

Sister Habiba : Masters of Science degree in early education, she will make sure to provide the best home schooling for all of your kids as she enjoys working with kids, her research topic was " Somali Kids abroad, Maintaining the Moral Fabric While Providing State Of the Art education At Home" . Can you imagine how well she will raise your kids, a head start indeed, if you dont loose your head fighting it!

 

Sister Halima : MBA in Mergers and Acquisitions, Advanced training in Finance and Due diligence. Sister Halima currently manages portfolios for several investors. She will be able to consolidate the financial achievements of your husbands business, so he no longer has to work with associates he does not trust without an other eye overlooking the deals.

 

Sister, Imagine for once seeing your hubby happy, getting help at work while at the same time coming home to his hearts content when he sees the progress of his kids in education and good manners, which leaves some time for him to treat you better and for you to take care of yourself, personally for him, you know what I mean! and some time for your ibaadah which since you got married, kids and all, you've neglected.

 

 

In Conclusion :

 

We are very happy for you being a house wife, a great achievement indeed. We further wish to add to your happiness, never to take anything away from you, knowing that if you choose to accept our proposal that we can all win, and according to the hadeeth, we will not be true believers if we do not wish for others what we wish for ourselves. If we do not follow that hadeeth, there will be a fitnah and an imbalance, and imbalance that in the longer run may create a worse situation for all of us women, since this husband sharing is an Allah given solution that enriches women although it may be a hardship on a responsible man, but again, he gets lotta of ajar raising good Muslim Families.

 

 

Highest Respect

 

 

Walaashaa

 

Khadiijo Wanaagdoon.

Chairperson.

 

 

2003 Somali Women For A Meaningful Marriage

Injustice Anywhere, Is A Threat To Justice Everywhere . ( Malcolm X)

[Castro]

LOL. Thanks for the dedication Nuurow. If you think I've been hard on you, you're right, but not without a reason saaxib. There's just so much shidh going on in Somalia and in the exiled community (including men walking out on ther wives and kids to satisfy their itch) that polygamy takes more than it's fair share from eNuri.

 

When I read last week of the drownings of Somalis in the Red Sea (again) and another eNuri polygamy post, I blew a gasket. Adding insult to injury, it seemed good Nur was telling the first wives to be patient and try to be happy for the new couple. Saaxib that's just wrong. But unlike some other advocates of this minyar-mania, I've a feeling your heart is pure. It's just in the wrong place at the moment.

 

I know there's nothing you can do about Somalia and it's unfair to ask you to. But, you can speak of the ills. You can remind nomads to raise money for the starving and the thirsty. You can show, using your natural instinct and humor, how what is happening back home is only a reflection of the divisions that also exist in exile. There's just so many other pertinent issues for eNuri to target.

 

In short, I want you to raise the bar again. You say you've done it on this forum before and I don't disagree. Lately, however, you've gotten lazy. I can be lazy, and often am, but you can't. You have an explicit, self-declared, mandate. You just need to work on fulfilling that. Leave this minyar business alone but if you must, speak of the damage absentee fatherhood is causing our community here, there and everywhere. The lack of role models, father figures and other deficiencies. You can target students and da'wa. Or students and student loans. The market is, literally, ripe for eNuri to make a larger and more concrete footprint in the lives of many.

 

I won't harass you anymore. I hope you catch my drift.

 

P.S. And contrary to popular belief on these boards, Sheh and I did not form an anti-eNuri front. If you pay close attention and though I agree with hers as well, our grievances are not quite the same.

[RendezVous]

..I've a feeling your heart is pure. It's just in the wrong place at the moment.

in other words, don't go beating president bush.You are advising e-nuri that you he concentrates in marshalling his E-nuri departments deal with hunger and diseases in somalia at the moment.

 

Good point..But this Minyar itself...I don't like it at all.Many families have got more boys than girls now who are young and we gonna see the imbalance dissapearing very soon.

 

I don't like the Minyar Business but still e-nuri you are giving the best advice.

[Walk_for_Somalia]

Nur ..Salam first.

 

The best solution to create a better somalia is to fix and change all the lost Faarah's out there. Behind every great man is a greater woman.

So since she has:

 

1. A Very High IQ ( based on our accademic accomplishment)

 

2. A High Moral Character ( Never to consider other alternatives)

 

3. A Highly Educated ( To Keep Us Busy)

 

4. A High Income ( Compared To avaerage Faarax)

 

5. A Highly Committed to Our Faith (Active In Community Centers).

 

....She can use this gift that God bestowed on her and help her future (lost, uneducated,)hubby out, that needs to be constantly self-motivated. If society didnt change her until today ( living in the west) bro ....nothing will...not even her husband. But she is capable of change.

 

Sharing 1 Man will not only cause emotional damage and constant qaylo for the poor faarax but also financial problems. She can be educated and making more than her husband but one day she will have kids forcing her to stay home. Now how many rich faraax's are out there today who can happily support 2 or more Xalimos?? ... i'll count with 1 hand

 

Thats my 2 filis :rolleyes:

[sheherazade]

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again .

 

Here's hoping you're third-time lucky.

[Legend of Zu]

^^^^ You are dhefil in dhisgaays...

 

What is your objective about this Topic brother Nur, for the third time? do you want the old flames to return? Could it be you had unfinished business? or may be you forgot that you posted this topic couple of times?

 

Or is this you trying to divert the attention from the Insure Your Husband topic? And you are hoping that Sheh and Castro will be drawn into it and then you can get backing from the nomads on them?

 

Sxb, as a Da'i, you are losing credibility by engaging such topics again and again. Let it go and focus other areas...clearly this topic has not been beneficial at all!

 

 

Cheers

[Dhul-Qarnayn]

First and foremost the words of Allah (s.w.t) are very clear in the Qur'an in regards to when and how a man can only practise polygamy. And yes, Polygamy is permited in the Qur'an with strict conditions attached, but it is never encouraged.

 

Allah Almighty clearly discourages polygamy to men by telling them "but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one...(4:3)" which clearly orders men to either be fair or to not marry at all.

 

I personally believe, the average Somali man is a poor man. I hardly think therefore, that he can provide a fair quality lifestyle to more than one woman, which if thats the case raises the questions...What benefit would it really serve the Somali society and Islam as a whole for a dude to bring more illiterate and starving kids into this world?

 

Allah(s.w.t) will hold accountable every man who practices polygamy. Poor Somali men practicing polygamy don't provide fairness to the newly born kids and to our economically crippled society, and certainly not to their wives either.

 

Allah Almighty knows best, and may He forgive me if I made any mistakes in this reply.

 

 

p.s

 

To all my Somali sisters. I suggest if you can't bare the thought of sharing your husband with another woman that you insist on including a "Over my dead body" clause in your marriage contract......!!!Problem solved!!!

[makalajabti]

I rather getting married to a gaal/foreigner than to a polygamous faarax.

 

We are in the 21st century and people are talking about polygamy, what a shame, no wonder why Somalia is still in feudal times.

[sweet_gal]

I wont even reply, cause I don't know what to really say because what I really want to know is. Is this just an imaginary situation or are u thinking of starting this Nur?????????????????

 

:confused:

 

I mean are the women u posted I forgot their names, (Halimo?? anyways whatever the two ladies names where are they really looking to share husbands??????????

 

But I think what somali really needs is psychological help not sharing husbands.....

 

 

:confused:

[-Lily-]

I wonder if the roles were reserved, if Nur was willing to share his wife .

[Resistance]

I wonder if the roles were reserved, if Nur was willing to share his wife .

 

^^ Come on u can a share a candy but how can u possibly share a chewing gum ...

 

am willing gunuea pig in this project .. just two ladies, i will marry them on the samre night, they'l live in identical homes, basicly equal share.

spcifications: tall, smart, pretty and have a plenty of energy between the two.

[-Lily-]

lol@ yahoo, if we can get one to agree on your behalf you should praise the Lord.

 

Sharing...looks like we are getting somewhere, feelings are kreeping into it. What a shock.

[Resistance]

Tanak u for ur application Waterlilly .. u will duly be considred againdt the competition ... but i advise u next time is best if u state ur intention to be wifey more vividly... keep checkin ur PM to see if u succesfull. remember we'll contact so don't attempt to contact us.

[-Lily-]

Well, I'm into low calorie organic candy that due to its nature and prise can certainly not be shared. Perhaps brother Nur can arrange something for you in return for boosting his statistics.

[Arawella]

Share husband!?

I bloody don’t think so. Nur Inc might be into ménage á deux, trois ou quatre but most of women aren’t happy with your proposal unless of course we are the one who is shared!!