Don't Marry Career Women!! An Interesting Article

[Xoogsade]

Source: forbes.com

 

 

Michael Noer 08.22.06, 6:00 AM ET

 

 

Guys: A word of advice. Marry pretty women or ugly ones. Short ones or tall ones. Blondes or brunettes. Just, whatever you do, don't marry a woman with a career.

 

Why? Because if many social scientists are to be believed, you run a higher risk of having a rocky marriage. While everyone knows that marriage can be stressful, recent studies have found professional women are more likely to get divorced, more likely to cheat, less likely to have children, and, if they do have kids, they are more likely to be unhappy about it. A recent study in Social Forces, a research journal, found that women--even those with a "feminist" outlook--are happier when their husband is the primary breadwinner.

 

Not a happy conclusion, especially given that many men, particularly successful men, are attracted to women with similar goals and aspirations. And why not? After all, your typical career girl is well-educated, ambitious, informed and engaged. All seemingly good things, right? Sure…at least until you get married. Then, to put it bluntly, the more successful she is the more likely she is to grow dissatisfied with you. Sound familiar?

 

In Pictures: Nine Reasons To Steer Clear Of Career Women

 

Many factors contribute to a stable marriage, including the marital status of your spouse's parents (folks with divorced parents are significantly more likely to get divorced themselves), age at first marriage, race, religious beliefs and socio-economic status. And, of course, many working women are indeed happily and fruitfully married--it's just that they are less likely to be so than non-working women. And that, statistically speaking, is the rub.

 

To be clear, we're not talking about a high-school dropout minding a cash register. For our purposes, a "career girl" has a university-level (or higher) education, works more than 35 hours a week outside the home and makes more than $30,000 a year.

 

If a host of studies are to be believed, marrying these women is asking for trouble. If they quit their jobs and stay home with the kids, they will be unhappy ( Journal of Marriage and Family, 2003). They will be unhappy if they make more money than you do ( Social Forces, 2006). You will be unhappy if they make more money than you do ( Journal of Marriage and Family, 2001). You will be more likely to fall ill ( American Journal of Sociology). Even your house will be dirtier ( Institute for Social Research).

 

Why? Well, despite the fact that the link between work, women and divorce rates is complex and controversial, much of the reasoning is based on a lot of economic theory and a bit of common sense. In classic economics, a marriage is, at least in part, an exercise in labor specialization. Traditionally men have tended to do "market" or paid work outside the home and women have tended to do "non-market" or household work, including raising children. All of the work must get done by somebody, and this pairing, regardless of who is in the home and who is outside the home, accomplishes that goal. Nobel laureate Gary S. Becker argued that when the labor specialization in a marriage decreases--if, for example, both spouses have careers--the overall value of the marriage is lower for both partners because less of the total needed work is getting done, making life harder for both partners and divorce more likely. And, indeed, empirical studies have concluded just that.

 

In 2004, John H. Johnson examined data from the Survey of Income and Program Participation and concluded that gender has a significant influence on the relationship between work hours and increases in the probability of divorce. Women's work hours consistently increase divorce, whereas increases in men's work hours often have no statistical effect. "I also find that the incidence in divorce is far higher in couples where both spouses are working than in couples where only one spouse is employed," Johnson says. A few other studies, which have focused on employment (as opposed to working hours) have concluded that working outside the home actually increases marital stability, at least when the marriage is a happy one. But even in these studies, wives' employment does correlate positively to divorce rates, when the marriage is of "low marital quality."

 

The other reason a career can hurt a marriage will be obvious to anyone who has seen their mate run off with a co-worker: When your spouse works outside the home, chances increase they'll meet someone they like more than you. "The work environment provides a host of potential partners," researcher Adrian J. Blow reported in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, "and individuals frequently find themselves spending a great deal of time with these individuals."

 

There's more: According to a wide-ranging review of the published literature, highly educated people are more likely to have had extra-marital sex (those with graduate degrees are 1.75 more likely to have cheated than those with high school diplomas.) Additionally, individuals who earn more than $30,000 a year are more likely to cheat.

 

And if the cheating leads to divorce, you're really in trouble. Divorce has been positively correlated with higher rates of alcoholism, clinical depression and suicide. Other studies have associated divorce with increased rates of cancer, stroke, and sexually-transmitted disease. Plus divorce is financially devastating. According to one recent study on "Marriage and Divorce's Impact on Wealth," published in The Journal of Sociology, divorced people see their overall net worth drop an average of 77%.

 

So why not just stay single? Because, academically speaking, a solid marriage has a host of benefits beyond just individual "happiness." There are broader social and health implications as well. According to a 2004 paper entitled "What Do Social Scientists Know About the Benefits of Marriage?" marriage is positively associated with "better outcomes for children under most circumstances," higher earnings for adult men, and "being married and being in a satisfying marriage are positively associated with health and negatively associated with mortality." In other words, a good marriage is associated with a higher income, a longer, healthier life and better-adjusted kids.

 

A word of caution, though: As with any social scientific study, it's important not to confuse correlation with causation. In other words, just because married folks are healthier than single people, it doesn't mean that marriage is causing the health gains. It could just be that healthier people are more likely to be married.

[Valenteenah.]

To borrow from Sheh: *Oooouccc*

[Xoogsade]

Valenteenah, this is true for nonsomalis. Tell me what you didn't like about the article if you read it beyond the hateful title

[Nehanda]

What a load of bull. If there is any correlation it’s minimal magnified by insecure men. There is more to a successful relationship then earning more than the spouse! There is absolutely nothing amiss for challenging oneself and aiming for a high paid career. I can’t understand how a blue collar is less likely to cheat?!

[Xoogsade]

^ You are right, men are insecure and they can't help it, but too much emphasis on one thing leads to the negligence of another equally important, don't you think so? Striking a balance between marriage responsibilities and careers are important. And this goes for both men and women

 

Who earns how much is not important but some of the other issues found in the study are detrimental.

[Som@li]

Xoogsade, this is defaming article,and is not helping some of unmarried career women here,lol.

[me]

Common sense, but this does not apply for Somalis, so Caraweelos keep on working hard and do your best in life.

 

Us men need to adjust to this chnaging world.

 

But when people marry they need to prioritize, they should work together in making a good marriage and raising good children. Both parties need to make sacrifices.

 

Either do it well or don't do it at all.

[- Femme -]

LOL. Maybe when the men stop wasting our money with chewing Qat and gossiping at all hours in front of the local Starbucks with their like minded useless pieces of dung (so called 'friends')... then maybe women might think about taking care of your sorry butt . Until then, you have no choice but to marry a career women to support you and ur useless habits. I don't understand why men complain about the very same woman who keeps him fed and clothed, and gives him his allowance for those expensive coffees they drink like it's the end of the world. :confused:

[TenaciousSoul]

i had to live this day to see this? amazing.

 

 

ok, now ur no good behinds is lookig for a reason to not to marry a career oriented sisters... amazing..

Here is the thing; whomever is believing in this mean less article (including the initiator) i wish u do not marry a career oriented sisters, because that would mean another loser is out of the high list of approaches

[me]

^^^Stop being so bitter, lets discuss this matter without spewing venom, Thank you

[bilan]

Xoogsade what are your views. you can not post article with telling us what you think about it, to be honest i did not read.

[hodman]

Originally posted by Shabanu:

LOL. Maybe when the men stop wasting our money with chewing Qat and gossiping at all hours in front of the local Starbucks with their like minded useless pieces of dung (so called 'friends')... then maybe women might think about taking care of your sorry butt . Until then, you have no choice but to marry a career women to support you and ur useless habits. I don't understand why men complain about the very same woman who keeps him fed and clothed, and gives him his allowance for those expensive coffees they drink like it's the end of the world. :confused:

This really amused me Those guys at starbucks really are useless pieces of ....

[Blessed]

Hmmmmmmmm! Imagine a society where all women who had families stayed at home.

[Mr.Faarax]

I want to be the first man to volunteer to be a stay home dad!... who is with me?

[Faarax-Brawn]

I think the dheylo with no upstairs Zu was suggesting[see other thread] is perfect rigth about now