Random Thoughts of the Day

[Che -Guevara]

Someone forward me this

I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

 

More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell

my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves

me.

 

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when yourealize you're wrong.

 

I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and

sticks when they've invented the lighter?

 

Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you'regoing in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to

be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like

check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're

crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

 

That's enough, Nickelback.

 

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

 

The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never

be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

 

Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards

or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

 

There is a great need for sarcasm font.

 

Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f *** was going on when I first

saw it.

 

I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting

90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little

bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

 

The other night I hit a new low at an open bar. I had already hopped on highway blackout when, inevitably I had to find a bathroom.

Eventually I decided it was probably on the other side of the bar so I tried to walk over there, but ran into a guy coming the other way. We played that, Both go left, Both go right game to no avail, so I finally put out my hand to guide myself past and that’s is when I

realized, yup, that’s a mirror I just tried to walk through. And the guy on the other side is me. Even cats can re cognize their own image.

 

How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

 

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than

take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

 

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

 

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.

 

A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the

spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

 

Was learning cursive really necessary?

 

Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

 

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

 

Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

 

My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired

about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us."

Classy, bro.

 

Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

 

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

 

I love the sense of camaraderie when a n entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

 

Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete *****. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Gooni es"

 

What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

 

While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

 

MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

 

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

 

I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

 

Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants?Pants never get dirty,and you can wear them forever.

 

I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu' to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight woman. Example: "Dave caught the swine flu last night."

 

I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

 

Bad decisions make good stories

 

Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got

the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind ifI do!

 

Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

 

 

If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

 

Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly

nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be

a problem....

 

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything

productive for the rest of the day.

 

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

 

There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

 

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I

swear I did not make any changes to.

 

"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

 

I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge

me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the

room. Will we still be friends after this?'

 

While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA. No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that

when Chinese athletes don’t win, they are executed.

 

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

 

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

 

When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

 

I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

 

Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

 

As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

 

Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

 

It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

 

I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

 

I think that if, years down the road when I’m trying to have a kid, I find out that I’m sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from

the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.

 

Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

 

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet my *** everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time

every time...

 

My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

 

It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

 

I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

 

I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

 

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

 

The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words,

someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people

eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel like a fat *******

before dinner.

[N.O.R.F]

Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you'regoing in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to

be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like

check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're

crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

This happened to me the other day. Left my wallet in the car and did a sly u-turn in the mall

[Che -Guevara]

^

 

Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

LOL

[ScarFace]

Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

Probably having some random thoughts ehh..fakir cajiib!!

 

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.

[Kamaavi]

My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

@^^....

[Somalicentric.]

HILARIOUS!!!

[Indhoos]

"I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I

swear I did not make any changes to."

 

HEAR, HEAR.

 

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to... stuff my face with food before getting to work late.

 

"Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is."

 

The person who asked me the time ends up asking me three more times, b/c I keep coming back with a blank stare and huh?

 

LOL...Thank you for sharing this.

[Buuxo]

Too funny.Can so relate to most of these random thoughts.

[MAXIMUS POWERS]

What is the meaning of life?

[Sophist]

^Simply put, to worship Allah.

 

S.

 

Ps: I am astonished you will ask such a question Marx or you were being ironic?

[MAXIMUS POWERS]

I was having a philosophical moment old chap! , its passed now.

[Che -Guevara]

TAKE THIS TEST...

 

Each of us is the result of the influence of many people. However some individuals have played a significant role in our development.

 

 

They are often called role models" that we consciously or unconsciously imitate. Perhaps you know who that person is, or perhaps you don't.

 

The world renowned SAMUEL HAIN, Ph.D, has given us a simple way to determine our role model. It is easy and only takes a minute and it may surprise you...

 

WHO IS YOUR ROLE MODEL?

 

Be sure not to peek! You don't want to skew your answer.

Try this - it's really neat ...

Don't look at the answers:

 

1) Pick your favorite number between 1 and 9

 

 

2) Multiply by 3 then

 

3) Add 3, then again Multiply by 3 (I'll wait while you get the Calculator...)

 

4) You'll get a 2 or 3 digit number.......

5) Add the digits together

 

Now Scroll down ...........

 

 

 

 

 

With that number, see who your ROLE MODEL is from the list below:

1. Einstein

2. OprahWinfrey

3. MotherTeresa

4. RandubiusRaji

5. Barack Obama

6. Johann Von Stueckenberg

7. Brad Pitt

8. Babe RUTH

9. Che Guevara

10.Bill Gates

 

 

I know........I just have that effect on people ... one day you too can be like me ...... Believe it!

 

P.S. Stop picking different numbers! I AM YOUR IDOL, JUST DEAL WITH IT!

[Haatu]

^^^^^

 

faan weynaa

[Che -Guevara]

^Substitute your name with my name(number 9), and do it again.

[5]

haha I'm pretty dumb, I was like "I'm not really the revolutionary type, or am I? Well, I do have a few revolutionary ideas, but would I ever pursue them? Or maybe it's the number, maybe I should have picked 7, I do like 7, 7 is a good number, even islamically."

 

And then I got the same and I was like "hmm, maybe i just have to accept Che".

 

Lol.