who would ever have thought?

[Blessed]

Pearl,

Hunnie, alxamdulilah that it worked out well. Thank you for sharing the story with us and warning us. It is true, you never suspect such behaviour of some1 that you know. I know some1 who experienced a similare thing with her Somali relative. You also, need to be careful with delivery guys , mechanics - I'd advice ya'll to be a easy with the Arab bashing. A man is a man, is a man. - am not saying all men are rapists or perverts - but you'll never know who is and who isn't - so sisters if he ain't your dad / brother assume that they are

[Valenteenah.]

Yep...that was a close call Pearl.

 

Arab men baad sheegeysaaye, relatives-keyga xitaa (male or female) albaabka kama furo hadaan guruga ku cidloodo. Mainly because I hate making small-talk, tea or whatnot until the rest of the household get home.

[SCORPION_SISTA]

Pearl you said, "since he is a muslim and i knew him for years that is what allowed me to let him enter my home..." You seem to imply that the whole actions which lead to the incident and it was all his faults...Therefore you absolved yourself if any behavior, beside letting him in your home without parents, to be cause of the sitution you found yourself in...I have few comments to make to that effect:

 

1. This sitution wasn't just like a man whom you have known and was known to your family just suddenly walk into your room "NO"

 

2. This guy expressed an interest in you and in developing a relationship with you, which you replied by merely laughing and ignoring it

 

3. From your first post, you said something about certain kinds of looks he was giving you, which indicated there was a sexual attraction from his side and he might have spoken sexually to you too

 

4. Again you made a choice to allow a man, who wanted to date you and even be sexually involved with you, to enter your house

 

5. Then you went to your room to change i don't know whether you stated that to him or not...This isn't probably true in your case, but there are women who use that as an invitation for guys to follow them to their rooms and whatever...There are guys who also believe that to be an invitation

 

6. This whole environment is like an alcholic having a drink put in front of him...What do you think he would do!!!!!!!!!

 

7. On top of that, you didn't even lock your bed room door which again can imply you were expected it and inviting it too

 

Now looking at this sitution do you think your only problem or mistake was letting the guy in while home alone! Maybe that would been the case had he never stated any interest and was just a family friend who came to your bed-room while you were dressing...My point is not to only look at what actions he took causing the a mistake but your own actions allowing the mistake to happen...And sometimes it isn't just one thing but how much you opened yourself to sitution by ignoring signs and indications...bee bye

[Qac Qaac]

arab or no arab, don't let anyone enter your house. especially when u r a girl home alone, men are oppurtunistic, and will take advantage of situations. i feel really bad for the women who got raped, whether she is muslim or non-muslim, it is unhamane thing to do to some one else, regardless of his faith, u r talking about a man who couldn't hold himself in the last 10 days for ramadaan, subhananallay, in morning in ramadan days even your wife u can't touch, imagine zina.

 

scorpian sister gave u all the things u need it, don't do it again, girls do what u have to do to be extra careful, if it is u don't open the door to anyone, or u act like u r not home.. what ever makes u feel safe. some one said u r parents will be mad, if u didn't let them enter the house, who cares, how would they feel after he rapes you.

 

ppl we should stop this stereotype of our muslim brothers, ppl say arab men love women too much, every men does. not only them. some of them maybe thing our somali ladies are easy to get, because in our culture, our parents usually don't give hard time, if some one come to marry their daughter, but in arab cultures the one with out islam, they give the man hard time, that's why u see lots of somali girls marrying arab guy.

a question, why somali sisters, give the somali men hard time when it comes to marrying them, and very easy for our black american who just became muslim, or the whites, arabs? i don't get it. wazz up with that. anyways what ever the reason stereotyping is wrong, and u can't generize a whole nation of one charecteristic ok. be safe girls.

 

p.s. it was somali men, i think, in the civil war raping our own women, so don't think somali men, are innocent too. each tribe raped the other tribes women, what kind of muslims are this ppl? then they say they are doing jihad? and hellping their own ppl. subxanallah.

[pearl]

SCORPION_SISTA:

 

even though i laughed it off he knew i wasnt interested. i wasnt assertive in expressing my disinterest at the time and i assume thats what let him to act in such a matter. he needed harsh replies, had i known i would have given it to him gladly.

 

On top of that, you didn't even lock your bedroom door which again can imply you were expected it and inviting it too

 

5. Then you went to your room to change i don't know whether you stated that to him or not...This isn't probably true in your case, but there are women who use that as an invitation for guys to follow them to their rooms and whatever...There are guys who also believe that to be an invitation

 

my door was closed, just without a lock. i had to go to work and that was my reason to go to my room and that in no way implies invitation, am sure i can think of better men to invite to my room had that been my intention. nor i did i tell him where i was going, he just came cuz it’s a small apartment its doesn’t take much effort to look around. my mom knew he was coming, but she had to run an errand and i though it would be ok for him to wait since she would be back soon instead of coming back another day.

 

My point is not to only look at what actions he took causing the a mistake but your own actions allowing the mistake to happen...And sometimes it isn't just one thing but how much you opened yourself to situation by ignoring signs and indications...

 

i ignored all signs, had i paid more attention and see him for what he is, i dont think i would have opened the door in the first place.

 

p.s. ever considered working as a detective...