Selfish

[Faarax-Brawn]

Is being selfish a bad trait?

 

My freind the other day, out of no where, says to me something; Kulaha

 

"selfishness is the essence of successes"

 

I pondered and thought about for a minute and asked him, ‘the essence’? He retorted back, in his high pitched annoying voice; ‘it’s a must have virtue’

 

Hmmm,i said reluctantly, 'I believe it’s an indispensable and unavoidable thing' . He shook his rather oversized and shapeless head.I thought to myself. Rebel!, Crazy as usual,i added

 

See. He is a character. A skinny 6’3 and slightly UN proportional.

 

You'd confuse him for a statue[boombale?].

 

Smart eloquent and combative. Constantly yapping.

 

He always has a hard time convincing people. It surely had to be even harder,tryna convince a self declared pessimist. People often just waive him off.[i did the same].

 

The conversation went a little longer, and I couldn’t but agree with him on almost everything.

 

We parted ways that day, but it had me going for a bit, actually for a little longer than usual.

 

Then it dawned on me that am selfish too.

 

Friends and family alike refer to me as a ‘selfish SOB’. So?. I dont care.

 

Most people, WILL get defensive and probably deny the allegation. I don’t.

 

Matter of fact, am quite happy and proud to be selfish. Reason being, I believe that I have no obligation to please and make anyone happy. If there is nothing in there for me why should I be there?

 

Should I sacrifice my own gains, benefits and bounties so as not to be ‘selfish’?

 

Is one born being selfish? Or are environment, surrounding and upbringing a major factor?

 

I believe am selfish because I think of myself, put me first and I have no one to please. I don’t need acceptance from no one. I please myself and not the public.

 

Am i a Bad person?, more importantly, should i care if people find me bad?

 

Is it ok to be selfish?

[STOIC]

Should I sacrifice my own gains, benefits and bounties so as not to be ‘selfish’?

People engage in self presentation-for example not being selfish or being selfish- inorder to construct self concept and manage the impression others hold of them.Your presented self is a powerful tool for relating to other Homo Sapiens.Your desire to be selfish is build upon your self construction identity of either being enslaved to the norm or taking a different route.If you choose to be selfish it will only enhance your self goal while at the same time it will undermine your ability to manage what others think of you-that is if you care!.If you happen to go against the norm and alienate yourself, you will only satisfy your interpersonal need!.But if you belong to the group-that is if you are not selfish-you will gain pre-requisite for life comfort since no humanbeing have been able entirely to be self sufficient.Remember your self-presentation to other Homo Sapiens will determine your social life!.

[Juxa]

well, there are times when u must put yrself first, i dont see that as selfishness, i see it as a survival thing.

 

if being true to yrself makes you selfish, yes i am selfish and i wont apologise for it.

 

think of others, deal with them as u want to be dealt with, lakin dantaada aqoonso.

 

ceeb miyaa taas? waa maya.

[Qac Qaac]

I believe, the chinese philosophy which is selfishness is evil.. only bad characters or ambitous ppl always have it...

 

but it is not fair to say it is all evil.. as juxa said.. sometimes u need to be selfish.. it depends on the person.. if he or she is I I I the whole day.. and cares no one else.. that is then bad.. but sometimes u have to do what u have to do too.. dantaada waad in aad garataa..

marka qofka bee ku xirantahay..

[Faarax-Brawn]

But if you belong to the group-that is if you are not selfish-you will gain pre-requisite for life comfort since no humanbeing have been able entirely to be self sufficient

Stoic!

 

Aha! Must one be unselfish to have ‘life comfort’?

 

Am I [Expected?] to sacrifice my benefits (*MY*), so as to be comfortable among ‘Homo sapiens’?

 

Why should it matter to the altruistic person? [if am selfish or not, as stated by Stoic?]

 

If that’s the road they chose to be [Of being giving, inclusive and general et al] why should A‘PRE-Requisite for life comfort’ be expected from me?

 

Shouldn’t they be ‘equally considerate’ regardless of my status?

 

 

Juxa,Precisly My point.

[Abdulladiif Al-Fiqih]

Are you selfish you asked, you sure do sound like one Mr. Afro

[Faarax-Brawn]

Are you selfish you asked

Did i?

 

Are u sure A.Ladif?

[STOIC]

Aha! Must one be unselfish to have ‘life comfort’?

 

To answer your question directly without racking the brain alittle bit my answer will be NO, but wait i need to try and see if i can make any sense!.First thing we all need to understand is that our self refers to our individual characteristics.These characterisitcs are either traits or attributes that set us apart from the rest of the Homo Sapiens.We all know that the individual self has a higher motivational value for identity whether being selfish or not selfish!.This means that no matter how hard we try we will always put our needs and desires first!.But then if we do put our individual self ahead of every one then why do we need to please the group?.The reason we need the group is because we as a human being need that protective buffer for the individual self to be safe(no one will help selfish when the hard time falls on him!).Don't you think a million men are more importance of one man?

**i have to go home now, will continue later!"

[Abdulladiif Al-Fiqih]

Ok ok—you knew you were SELFISH but just want to know if you were a bad person? I got it now. Well, you are indeed bad person because you are selfish hence, not kind—deyya you have it

[Baashi]

Knock knock...may I?

 

Being selfish is having a character flaw. Selfish folks are stingier and they are unlikely to help brother/friend out when bro/sxb are in need. Too much self love and I mean the vulgar one not the genuine self love (the source of self-esteem). They are hardly generous or loyal. What’s in it for moi? That’s their litmus test. Material good and advantages (when/where can be had) is what motivates them . Worse yet they tend to secure material goods and advantages at the expense of other people (often friends and relatives).

 

Me don’t like them . They don’t buy shaah for me and they would happily drink the shaah I buy for them . Let's drive ur car is what they always say especially when the gas prices are high and for some reason they are always at the recieving end :confused: Smart? Nah!

 

On the other hand, Danti yaqaan is the rational person. He does what he gotta do and when friends and families are in need of helping hand, he sacrifices (within reason) his time and resources to be there for them for he recognizes the value of family and friends. He values gacalka.

 

My man Afro is Danti yaqaan methinks

[Faarax-Brawn]

Being selfish is having a character flaw. Selfish folks are stingier and they are unlikely to help brother/friend out when bro/sxb are in need.

Unlikely To help?

 

Is one to Required to Help to appear Unselfish?

How about Donations? Charity?, Helping etc as opposed to 'sacrificing ones own Gain for another'

 

Theres gotta be a fine line between the two, NO?

 

A.Ladif. Sure.

[Baashi]

Yup. Appearance is giving the perception of being something u r not. Toss it into the trash. We're talking about genuine virtuous unselfish person.

 

Selfishness and compassion don’t mix that well. U see charity and donations are funds drawn from somewhere in someone’s own burse. In other words, it is someone’s gain. But unlike the selfish person, this person is compassionate enough and wise enough to share his blessing with the unfortunate folk.

 

C’mon my man Afro, u r Danti yaqaan why would u wanna put on the selfish hat?

[Viking]

Afro,

There was a similar discussion some time back, read Selfish! and see if it offers further elucidation.

[underdog]

"selfishness is the essence of successes"

The statement might be true but what does success really mean?

 

Is it being rich? having a gazillion fafillion dollars in an account while it muptiplies daily might be considered success. Or maybe you can only gauge success in relation to everyone else: meaning if you have a mountain of gold and everyone you know has one too you're not successful. So if thats the definition then success is only how you differentiate yourself from the rest.

 

i.e. the guy who drives the Lexus and saw some other guy in a lexus so he changed his plates to "BRAIN SURGN" all of a sudden he's more successful than the Farah in the Lexus with Plate "ABRT 543". Maybe he's just more selfish...cause what he's saying is "I'm better than you."

 

I guess we all think it or do it from time to time and look down on people (even some of the people we help) so selfishness is rampant. However like many of the diseases of society the moment you stop feeling bad about it and come to terms with your selfishness then you're beyond help; as is the case with

- Vanity: Too many people in love with their reflections - (check out the nicks on SOL)

- Guilt: Too many people that are ready to find "the real" place to lay blame - (If I didn't have all that sugar in my coffee I wouldn't have punch that guy so its not really my fault, its the food and the schools and the neighbors son)

 

So why should selfishness be any different. The time and money you use to help someone is time and money you could be doing for yourself.

 

"why should I be the one to do for the less fortunate? I have a hard time too" when you think like that its probably too late.

[Tahliil]

Did not really want to participate this thread but this retort sort of caught my eye. tried to make sense of it but couldn't. Can my learned brother decipher the meaning behind his statement for me? Could you draw the distniction between 'donating what is yours to someone and giving what's yours to another?'am not sure...thnx

 

How about Donations? Charity?, Helping etc as opposed to 'sacrificing ones own Gain for another'