Do you meet your parteners expectation?

[nice-guy]

hi pple.

 

i just wana know if you guys feel the same way about this?

its about (sex) i am afraid, and if you dont like it you dont have to be rude just logoff.

 

to me sex is like management or politics, all of us do it and most of us are convinced that our way of doing it is the best,

despite the fact that very few of us bother to ask if we have met our parteners needs and expectations.

it is generally assumed that if there have been no complaints our performance must have been OK!

so how do you think you are doing?

[SCORPION_SISTA]

well well it is nice to see u nice-guy i see that u registered.

as to ur comment about sexual performance, i think the reponsiblity lays on the couples involved in that sexual relationship. Someone not saying anything about their partners performance might mean that one of them has no way to compare their partner's performance to anything therefore thinking that this is how it is.

i think one of the other thing i noticed about somali attitude toward sex is that is mainly if not only for recreational purposes not for enjoyment or fun, which leads females espically to not to participate in the act. As a man i think there is a responsiblity on him to ask his partner if there are things that need to be changed or inputs that they have on their sexual relationship.

this is all my opinion ain't nothing that i am saying is fact, so plz don't be offended. peace

[lulla]

Hey nice-guy, great topic bro.

I totally agree with SCORPION_SISTA.It takes two to make it great but all most somalian guys do is complain how their partner is responding.I mean..daaaaaaaah.how about asking the lady what she wants for change.IT is all about communication.

[Hibo]

ITS NICE AND VERY WISE TO TALK ABOUT SEX

I HAVE NEVER BEEN WITH A SOM' GUY, BUT I LOVE SEX SO MUCH SO THAT I THINK ABOUT ALL THE TIME AND WONNA DO IT ALL THE TIME.

IT SOMETIMES SCARES ME SOMETIMES THAT IF I WONNA SPEND MY LIF WITH A BRO AND HE IS NOT AS KINKY AND LOVES LIFE AS I DO. THEY I WILL HAVE TO SPLIT. COZ IT VERY IMPORTANT TO ME.

ROMANTIC IS ANOTHER THING THAT WILL BE SO COOL IF THE BROS LEARN AND MANY GIRLS WILL WANT THEM. JUST MY THOUGHTS.

HAVE A GOOD ONE.

 

 

IDIIL

[commonsense]

Nice guy i have not had any experience in this area. I will tell you what i know if a man tries his best it should be good enough. Assuming your woman loves you no matter what.

[Baydan]

Nice Guy

lol i'm cracking up walahi..

Let me go back to your question of "so how do you think you're doing" lol oh fiq fiq fiq

Dear brotha you wanna rephrase the question because I'm getting different interpretation lol

 

peace!

 

 

[Hibo]

well i think sex is a two way street both partners have to participate, enjot it and show each other how they like it....i hear alot of brothers complaining how somalian ladies just lay there or whatever and blaming on fmg but i think if they used that same energy that they are complaining with to improve their sex life they wouldn't need to complain cuz if you don't like how your partner is performing how about SPEAKING UP and i don't mean nagging or critizing the person but if you approach it in a loving manner i think you can make your partner do whatever you like

 

Later Nomads

 

------------------

Never take life too seriously, no one is ever made it out alive

[nice-guy]

hi ladies

 

im glad my first topic made a good sence to alot of u ladies, but till now i dont see bro's, I wonder why?

 

scorpion sis..great answer sis, i totally agree with u.

LULLA..guys complain wen ladies ignore all the hard work and the effort he is puttin in just to please her. but if he's rubbish and the lady feels she is better then him, why not tell him how crab he was, and teach him some new moves....which i think most of u ladies dont even bother tryin.

if a lady says to me hei..nice-guy tats not how its, let me show u how, i would be happy to follow her lead.

IDIIL...nice one sis.

COMMONSENCE..good luck sis.

INDHADEEQ..i agree sis...

BAYDAN....( )

 

let me say this again, this is not a fantasy from channel 4 or 5, this is reality its what is on our faces wen we r married and we r not happy with our parteners performance, we have no one else to talk to about it, cos we r somalians and its wat we call (CEEB) to talk about it and i think (ceeb) in sex is a way of covering (ignorant).

if ure partener is not happy in bed how do u think he/she is gonna be in any other way ....i think tats why some people avoid doin it at all.

 

peace and love.

[SCORPION_SISTA]

u absoultely rite nice guy, somali girls are taught not to talk about it and therefore it never improve it. But i think that a very healthy marriage has to have a good sexual intimacy relationship, because intimacy between hubby and wify is about 40% of a good or great marriage(totally my opinion)and it also strength one of the most important element of marriage "communication". I think female should ask their doctors questions in regards to sex and there are books that can help and the couples must be willing to try something different to see what works for them. okay that's enough for me now. peace.

[LadyFatima]

Salaama All...........

 

Oh Lord have mercy.....Totally the wrong room for me...

[Taqwa]

Dear Poster,

 

 

There is a certain amount of etiquette when it come's to discussing something that is between two partners. Don't think that since your behind the screen and no one knows your true identity, your right in speaking about your bedroom secrets. You must always be aware that Allah is watching you, in secret and in the open. Your attitude towards Allah must always be balanced between fear and hope, which for the Muslims are like the two wings of a bird. It's the responsibility of the muslim husband to satisfy his wife emotionally, physically and of course financially. Every thing that you give to your wife is written as a good deed.

 

 

I'm sure that you meant good in opening such a topic, but there are certain things in life which are better off not touched in public (sex). Remember what the prophet said in his last sermon in mount arafat, "Do treat your women well and be kind to them for they are your partners and committed helpers." This quote certainly shows that sexual relationship between husband and wife is included and a must.

 

P.S. I'm advicing you first as a brother who thinks good of your intentions, but I'm not fond of your motive's.

 

cheers,

taqwa

 

[This message has been edited by Taqwa (edited 04-08-2002).]

[nice-guy]

dear TAQWA..

 

thnx for reminded us to allah (scw),im gratefull.

and im not hidin im here again, but the thing is, u havent understood where im comin from and wat i meant, i never said im married, and never told u details of someone's bedtime stories....sorry.

 

wen i said ''wen ure married and not happy with ure parteners performance'' in my earlier poster, i never meant me or someone tat i talked to, but its wat happenes in everyday life...if u would've asked me how i know it? ....well tat wouldve been another case.

 

P.S. and i wont say u offended me ..never, u used ure opinion and hadiths and its all good.

 

peace.

[Hibo]

Nice-Guy Nice topic!

It's funny you mentioned "somali men complain about the wife just lying there" because I've come to notice that this statement is actually very commen. But I don't think that the women actually just lies there I think that they probably just dont' moan, shout, scream the mans' name etc like on T.V/Movies there for it's makes the man wonder if his wife is enjoy it at all.

This complaint is sort of caused by the fact that this society as painted a picture about how "SEX" is to be and when in reality the sex doesn't meet up to those expectations confussion and doubt arise.

On the other hand I have heard of a somali man complain about his wife being a nympo reasoning being she does the whole nine yards (moan, screa etc) plus she asks for more. This has caused him to doubt her chastity and he has lost respect for her.

Reason being in our culture the average somali women is naturally shy about these matter even after she gets married I mean after all it's all sort of new. And after the pain and just gettting use to the idea of being pretty much naked and just the SEX it self the question of did you enjoy it or not is not the first thing on your mind.

Personally I think it's different from person to person so each couple should worry about their indivually situation. Maybe your wife moans or maybe she just bites her lip both ways dont stress.

Beace

P.S if you want to know if your doing aight just ask if she blushes then yes you are.

 

[nice-guy]

SHHHH....

 

thnx for ure time sis, wen i posted this topic i never meant to blame ladies or gents i just (pin-pointed) something tat happens on a dayly basis, and i did liked ure answer, i understand and have a good idea about the difference between us and the society around us. and im not pursuading anyone to do the same,,,,,i mean who am i to say so. (the comlain bit, i waz answerin a lady who said guys complain, but it was never my attention to directly say tat about ladies,,,,so dont get me wrong).

peace.....