Dedicated To Caano Geel, and Sheherezad.

[Nur]

From The e-Nuri Archives, 2002 :

 

 

A Training Academy for Somali Men,

 

 

Motivation

 

 

Traditionally, Somali men are raised a certain way, from boyhood, they learn to despise women, housework and being a caring and a gentlemen. A lot of that has to do with the macho attidue that a Somali man must project outwardly although many of them have nothing much inside, Their mothers and soicety has taken part of this phenomena, as such, e-Nuri has taken an interest in re skilling this animal to prepare him for the 21 century ( most live in 18 century badiye mentality).

 

 

They need a refresher course in the following skills:

 

 

First Semester:

 

1. Fundemenmtals of Washing dishes

2. A survey on benefits of clean living quarters

3. Methods of Garbage disposal.

4. Re-Defining Manhood 001 ( Helping around the house)

5. Redefining Manhood 002 ( Basic Diaper Change)

6. Re-defining Manhood ( Advanced Diaper Change, in malls and buses)

7. Re-defining Manhood ( Dangers of Qat and smoking)

 

 

Second Semester

 

8. Physical excercise 001 ( Maintaining the bathroom, Cleaning referigerator, Kitchen

etc.)

9. Physical Excercise 002 ( Vacuming, dusting, setting up bedrooms, and related subjects)

 

 

Third semester

 

 

10. ABC's of Grocery shopping ( Coupons etc.)

11. Budgeting ( Expenses)

12. Budgeting ( Time )

13 . Advanced Budgeting ( Hagbad, Shaloongo)

 

Fourth Semester

 

14. Art Appreciation 001 ( Enjoying quite time with family)

15. Art Appreciation 002 ( Saying Thank you, note, this course has high dropout rate)

16. Attending Family functions ( How to smile genuinely and not complain about wasting time)

17. Vacations without fights

 

 

Fifth Semester

 

18. Basic cooking ( tea, coffee etc)

19. Intermediate Cooking ( Reading Cookbooks)

20. Advanced Cooking ( Measurements and preparations)

21. Cooking Laboratory ( Salads, soups, sweets, fish and meat, pasta, rice, breakfast specials, lucnh box preparation, putting food away for later use)

22. Organizing the Referigerator

23. Organizing the cabinets and kitchen containers.

24. Spices

25. Outside cooking skills and tools.

 

 

Graduation Project: How to look, find and keep a job.

 

 

All students are required to work closely with family members:

 

Grading

 

Family's assesment of the Student 98 %

Class attendance 1%

Exams 1%

 

 

We are accepting applications for the Spring Semester, space is limited, all Somali ladies reading this post are encouraged to apply for their husbands, we guarantee, with Allah's help that upon graduation , you will not call the RCMP to kick your husband out of your house.

 

2002 Nurtel Social Engineering Labs

Manhood Is More Than Growing a Beard

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

... An angry Somali male responded to me:

 

you are being harsh extremely against us Somali men for whatever reason. I'm just wondering, is your real name Nur or Nasra ?

 

 

I am a sexist indeed!

 

Nur

[Caano Geel]

Nuur saaxiib, let me get this right,

 

coming from a 'traditional Somali family' what your telling me is:

 

that my mother and wider Somali society has prepared me for nothing other than being the hollow shell of a chauvinist, as incapable of realising or expressing his feelings as a wild animal..

 

Infact short of picking the flees of the next two legged ape that i come across, i and my fellow shells are that mysteriously yet to be identified last step in the chain from great ape to man or as u put it "18 century badiye mentality".

 

Now to address this problem and hopefully simultaneously help us up the evolutionary ladder, while liberating our poor women folk from the tyranny of our over developed domestic deprivation, you suggest that we be domesticated/distracted with the clever use of household chores.

 

Now by conjecture what your telling me is that our poor women folk's role is defined by domestication and are living in the debauchery of our lack of it.

 

Further this degeneracy has nothing to do with a lack of economic, political, educational, health, social or religious equality, just whether we wash the dishes, are buff enough to obviously adequately vacuum the caves we live in or can lay of the qaad and ciggies long enough to put in a half-days work... sounds plausible

 

Now I'll tell you what, if you think it will help me and my fellow animals gain a deeper understanding of the situation, I'll be Nasra for you, and you just work on the definition of that 'sexist' bit ...

 

looking forward to being a reformed ape,

 

yours Nasra

[Kashafa]

^^ Have a cold cup of Caano Geel and chill,

ur overlooking the obvious fact that this is a humorous satire piece. ie, you're actually encouraged to chuckle, tehee, hee-haw, or since you now call yourself Nasra, giggle , while reading it.

 

Nur-ka,

 

Sign me up for the 5th Semester. Transfering over some credits from Bachelor-in-Big-City U.

[-Serenity-]

^ Yes, I'm finding it very funny that the only thing wrong with men is their domestic handicap. (Altho I can attest to Nasra being quite domesticated )

[Caano Geel]

Originally posted by Kashafa:

^^ Have a cold cup of Caano Geel and chill,

ur overlooking the obvious fact that this is a humorous satire piece. ie, you're actually

encouraged

kashafa dude, i'm afraid i'm too dense to realise the thin veil of humour over the dung-heap of sexism

 

yours, Nasra

[Kashafa]

Abaayo Ipod and Abaayo Nasra( yo, this name might stick ),

 

You guys are over-analysing. It's funny tho, When Nur lampoons the ladies: it's sexist. When he does the exact same thing to guys: a) it's not enough(ipod), b) it's male-bashing(Nasra).

 

Take it for what it is(or at least what i read from it): a good-humoured dig at both genders' behaviour. About high time we had our very own social satirist(scientist ?) on SOL.

 

 

It's the freakin' Weekend, go have some fun :cool:

[sheherazade]

Nur, I don't know why u posted this. It doesn't work. Satire it is not. I'm only responding to this since u've dedicated it to me and I have a chronic be-polite disease.

[Nur]

Caano Geel

 

You write:

 

" that my mother and wider Somali society has prepared me for nothing other than being the hollow shell of a chauvinist, as incapable of realising or expressing his feelings as a wild animal.. "

 

 

Well, your holding the stick from the middle, heads i win, tails you loose? since you are on record accusing me of being a sexisit, this was to illustrate that:

 

1. Nur is not a sexist

2. That Chauvenism exisits in our culture

3. A humor piece.

 

 

You write:

 

 

" you suggest that we be domesticated/distracted with the clever use of household chores ."

 

 

Bro. loosen up, I suspect you have work related tension, its undserstandable, Yes I honestly do, for a good segment of Somali males, I am a retrained graduate.

 

You write:

 

" Now by conjecture what your telling me is that our poor women folk's role is defined by domestication and are living in the debauchery of our lack of it ."

 

 

Not all brother, again, but household work is not evenly shared in many Somali homes, although women are bread winners just like men.

 

You write:

 

 

" Further this degeneracy has nothing to do with a lack of economic, political, educational, health, social or religious equality, just whether we wash the dishes, are buff enough to obviously adequately vacuum the caves we live in or can lay of the qaad and ciggies long enough to put in a half-days work... sounds plausible "

 

 

Brother e-Nuri has treated al of the aeas you have mentioned, a visit to our archives will show you how many serious topics we have covered, from polygamy, politicians and Anarchists, It goes without saying that Religion is an e-Nuri mission on these boards

 

 

You write:

 

 

" Now I'll tell you what, if you think it will help me and my fellow animals gain a deeper understanding of the situation, I'll be Nasra for you, and you just work on the definition of that 'sexist' bit ... "

 

 

I looked up the meaning of the word 'SEXIST", here is what I found:

 

Contempt shown for or discrimination against a particular sex, usually by men of women, based on prejudice or stereotype.

 

Where in my writings have I shown contempt for women? in all fairness, i may not be aware of it if its is in me, unless you show me. I have no respect for a sexist, but I have respect for myself, I hope you understand.

 

 

You write:

 

" looking forward to being a reformed ape "

 

Be easy on yourself, a dose of humor has never hurt a wise person.

 

 

Yours

 

Nasiruddeen

[Nur]

Sheherezad sis

 

 

Nur, I don't know why u posted this. It doesn't work. Satire it is not. I'm only responding to this since u've dedicated it to me and I have a chronic be-polite disease .

 

Dear Shaherezad, sorry to come short of your expectations, i only posted this to back up a response I posted earler in the Topic " Iman Octane" in Islam section, in which you voiced your dissatsifaction with the unfairness of addressing women only, like we say in Somali " Wixii xunba Xaawaa Leh"

 

Please be free to delete the entire Topic, it was for you and Caano Geel, and the message is received.

 

Nur

[Valenteenah.]

People, give Nur a break. If he says he is not sexist, then he isnt. Give him the benefit of the doubt (whatever happened to your sense of Muslim Brotherhood? For shame!).

 

I agree that this topic in no way matches the 'Topping up ur iman' one, in terms of categorising the males, nevertheless, I believe it provides an important function. The Training Academy is quite simply, a fantastic idea. A lot of Somali men are in serious need of this type of training.

 

Classes, such as the above, would teach our brothers two equally important lessons:

 

1) There's no shame in being self-sufficient

 

2) and, more importantly, women have not being put on this earth to clean up after your lazy ar$e.

 

 

PS: Nasra, don't you look ravishing in that gareys...goodness me! :eek:

[sheherazade]

Nur decided to defend himself on his own account. I never called him sexist but pointed out why I didn't agree with his other post. This post is supposed to show me(and CG) that he isn't sexist; personally I couldn't care less whether Nur is sexist or not. I try and deal with each topic separately most especially where serious issues are being discussed.

 

Nur I know what motivated you to do this but u didn't need to in my opinion and it wasn't helpful in your aim. That is all.

 

Muslim brotherhood shouldn't kick in only when Islamic topics are concerned or when Nur is the poster.

 

I'm going to stop because I keep wanting to write stuff Ngonge would and there can only be one of him on this forum.

 

If this topic is to be deleted, it should be Nur that pushes the button.

[Valenteenah.]

Um...OK.

 

<-- feels suitably reprimanded.

[MR ORGILAQE]

Time out evryone time out!

 

Nur that was entertaining however the boys here are not as institutionalised as you and i so take it easy on them. the natural course tends to run for at least 2 decades they cannot handle it in one dose.Sheh dear(trying very hard to say it as is but due to reconditioning cannot).....hmm........you are right dear....yes dear

[Caano Geel]

peepz let me clear my throat .. just so we can understand each others points

 

Nuur, kow aan kuu sheego meesha ey sheekada taagantahay ...

 

markaad qortid topics like ' top up u're imaan' maxaad dadka kaayar masa kuu arka nin sharafleh u sheygsaa ...

 

Marka, aniga aan kuu sheego waxaan aqriyey...

 

' THe value of a woman is her dress !'

 

and as u so cleverly put it, 'is she a sister, transistor or a resistor'. Now a part of me wants to discuss how long it took to make it rhyme but i'll resist ..

 

so 'brother' tell me the truth, is this what you believe? is this what u stand for and is this what you want to enlighten us with...

 

Now about the sexism, ummm were shall i start, lets keep it brief:

 

well, u posted this topic in reply to me calling you sexist, righteous and insincere in your dancing devils topic, which incidently i found so righteous that i was suprised it saw the light of day. Which i got to 'cos i couldnt believe the amount of chauvinism was being spouted because of a direct result of what you wrote. and hence we're back to this topic -- which the argument has festered in tho' its compeletely inconsequencial.

So, surely u dont need me to explain the insincere part.

 

now i can accept i'm wrong, but prove it to me...

be 'a man' about it -as it'd be put - and i either say u believe:

 

women can be firmly catergoried into the above stated three rhyming types

or

remove it and think about the influence and consequences of what you say before you let it loose in a public environment in which you carry such influence

[Legend of Zu]

Caano, Duuude, you givin the brotha unnecessary hardtime... He went all the way to proof he is not sexist... and what i can gather that was not to your satisfaction. so what do you do..sxb?

 

Yes, perhaps his choice of categorising the sistas into those three groups were not the best or perhaps he chose the wrong words to depict hiw views. wouldn't his comment of " I am sexist" enough? or do you want him to plea "ooh I was wrong..blah blah..and ask to be forgiven?

 

You labelled him sexist and yet you are against him labelling the sistas?

 

Cheers