The Court Of Abu Fas!

[NGONGE]

Abu Mobile has been promoted. He was to leave the town he was ruling in the name of Al Shabab and go to the Somali capital to finally fight alongside his brethren against the powers of oppression and treachery. He calls his deputy to discuss the situation and prepare for their departure.

 

Abu M: The call his at last come, Akhi. We are finally summoned and, after all these years of waiting and rejection, we can go and taste martyrdom.

 

Abu Tusbax: Yes my brother. I know how impatient you were to fight for Xaq and sacrifice your life for god and country. Now we can both do it.

 

Abu M: But what should we do about this town? When I asked the Amir, he told me he is going to leave it to me to choose a capable man. He could not spare any of his good men for such a small town.

 

Abu Tusbax: Yes. This is a problem. All our followers here are young and inexperienced. We can’t leave the town in the hands of such young men.

 

Abu M: So do you want to stay and look after the town?

 

Abu T: And miss my chance to frolic with the Xoor Al Cayn? Not on your life, saaxib.

 

Abu M: Well, I can’t stay either. The leadership specifically asked for me.

 

Abu T: And ME! No, we have to choose one of these young men to run the town. Someone sensible.

 

Abu M: But who? It has to be someone who knows and understands the deen, akhi.

 

Abu T: That’s a tall order.

 

Abu M: What do you think about Abu Qalin? He can read and write. He may be the man we want.

 

Abu T: No. The man is bad tempered and will turn the entire town against us within hours.

 

Abu M: True. How about Abu Latifa?

 

Abu T: He’s a good man but there are some rumours that he still smokes.

 

Abu M: May Allah protect us from the devil and his temptations. Who can we choose then? I am drawing blanks here.

 

Abu T: How about Abu Fas?

 

Abu M: Isn’t he too young for the job of a Waali?

 

Abu T: Osama Bin Zayid was young, Akhi.

 

Abu M: True. Abu Fas it is then.

 

The two call Abu Fas and brief him on his new job and ask him to pray for them and wish them a speedy martyrdom. They call a meeting and announce to the forces the election of this new leader and then depart, leaving the town in his capable hands.

 

After the Maghreb prayers are finished, Abu Fas calls a couple of his trusted friends to one side and starts discussing his new responsibilities with them.

 

Abu Fas: Brothers. I have been given this responsibility and I am not sure if I can cope on my own. What do you think?

 

Abu Surf: Don’t worry brother. Allah is on our side and nothing can ever be difficult when Allah is on your side. We will be ok.

 

Abu Gambar: True. Trust in Allah and you will be fine.

 

Abu F: But I don’t know much about running towns and applying Islamic justice.

 

Abu S: If you encounter a problem, could you not phone the leadership and ask for their help?

 

Abu G: I don’t think the leadership have time to waste on small problems and disputes, akhi. I think our Wali will have to manage this one on his own.

 

Abu S: Can we not ask the Imam of the Masjad to help us out?

 

Abu F: That Imam is not a certified member of our movement and I do not want to risk the anger of the leadership by using him as a trusted advisor.

 

Abu G: Don’t worry, akhi. We shall create a Shuura council of our own and get the collective opinion of our followers whenever we encounter a problem that we can’t deal with on our own.

 

Abu F: That is a great idea! Yes. This is what we shall do.

 

The days pass and Abu Fas manages to run the town in an exemplary mannar and without encountering any great new problems. However, one Tuesday afternoon, his followers bring to his Majlis a group of screaming and wailing young girls.

 

Abu Fas: What is the meaning of this?

 

Soldier: We caught these girls laughing in a shameless manner whilst walking outside the mosque. Their laughter was heard all the way inside and was distracting the devout worshippers from their Khshuuc!

 

Girl: It was a mistake, sir. We didn’t realise we were walking past the mosque.

 

Abu Fas: Mosque or not, you should not have been laughing in such a way ANYWHERE!

 

Girl: We are sorry. Forgive us.

 

Abu Fas: It is not for me to forgive. I could only pass judgment. Take them outside soldier whilst I confer with my advisors.

 

Abu Surf: What are you planning to do, sir?

 

Abu Fas: I don’t know. What do you think I should do?

 

Abu G: I think we have to go with precedent. That Kismaayo girl was stoned.

 

Abu F: But her crime was Zina not laughing!

 

Abu S: I think I heard somewhere that when women laugh in a loud and unguarded way it is regarded as the equivalent of Zina. The soldier already told us they were heard from inside the mosque, and not by only one man I bet.

 

Abu G: Stoning them is a tad harsh. I heard of a story of a woman in Afghanistan who was given a hundred lashes for not wearing the hijab. Maybe this is the punishment we should apply here. I mean, isn’t said that a woman’s voice is Cowra? A woman’s hair is also cowra. So if a woman gets a hundred lashes for letting men see her cowra, she also should get a hundred lashes for letting them hear her cowra.

 

Abu F: So the choice is between stoning and a hundred lashes?

 

Abu S: It seems so, sir.

 

Abu F: Stoning it is then.

 

Abu G: Why did you choose that and not the lashes?

 

Abu F: Easy. The story of the lashing that you told us happened in Afghanistan. And though our brothers there are Muslim, they may not be following the exact madhab that our movement follows. This is why I decided to play it safe and follow the precedent set by our more learned Al Shabab brothers in Kismayo.

 

Abu G: Masha Allah! May Allah increase your knowledge and strengthen your Iman, Akhi.

 

Abu S: Amiin.

 

Abu F: Jazzaka Allah, Akhi. May Allah show us the right path.

 

 

A few days later, as Sheikh Abu Fas was sitting to lunch with his two companions, a soldier burst in dragging a father and son behind him.

 

Soldier: Sir. I arrested these two as they were chasing each other down the street and making lots of noise.

 

Abu Fas: Why were they chasing each other?

 

Soldier: It seems that the son has stolen his father’s apple and his old man was trying to get it back.

 

Father: It is nothing, sir. He’s an eight-year-old kid that knows nothing. He was only teasing me and I was chasing him to scare him. He can have the apple.

 

Soldier: the father was also swearing and blaspheming, sir.

 

Abu F: So we have a thief and his kaffir father here, huh?

 

Abu S: He is not strictly kaffir yet, sir. We do not know what swear words he used.

 

Father: I only said things about his mother, sir. I did not say anything about the deen. I was angry, I am sorry.

 

Abu F: It is too late for sorry, akhi. This is not a jungle where every man can do what he likes when he likes. This is a Muslim town run by Muslim people. Take them out soldier and let me confer with my companions.

 

Abu S: The son’s case is easy. We’ll just have to cut one of his limps. My only worry is that he may be too young for such a punishment. Should we phone the leadership for help, sir?

 

Abu F: We can’t disturb them with such a trivial story, akhi. They are busy with bigger things. No, we have to make our minds up here.

 

Mr G: I agree with Abu Surf, the kid is too young.

 

Abu F: He is eight not six. If he is obliged to pray by seven then he must be old enough to be punished according to the Shareecah!

 

Abu S: But should he not become a man first and reach puberty?

 

Abu G: Maybe he did. Some children reach puberty at seven.

 

Abu F: It does not matter. I am using qiyaas here and saying that if he is required to pray at this age then it must also be ok for us to apply the xad.

 

Abu S: I see where you’re coming from. It makes sense.

 

Abu G: True. Plus, it will send a message to all eight year olds and stop them from committing any similar crimes.

 

Abu Fas: What about the father?

 

Abu S: He did not blaspheme as the soldier alleged. He only called the boy’s mother names.

 

Abu G: There is nothing wrong with calling your own wife names. We all get angry from time to time.

 

Abu F: True. But that happens in private. Calling a married woman names in public is an offence. I know she is his wife but she is also a married woman. The Shareecah is very clear on this. Though I forget now what the punishment for such a crime is.

 

Abu S: Yes. I forget too. It must be lashes or something but how many lashes does such a crime entail?

 

 

Abu G: We can just cut one of his limps like his son and have it done with.

 

Abu F: We can not apply the law as we like, akhi. It has to be well thought and follow precedent.

 

Abu S: Well, lashes apply to all sorts of crimes. It must be lashes.

 

Abu F: That’s what I am leaning towards too. But I’ve got this nagging feeling that tells me this man should be stoned.

 

Abu S: Stoned for calling his own wife names?

 

Abu G: It sounds a tad extreme, akhi.

 

Abu F: What would you do if someone called your mother names?

 

Abu S: I will kill him with my own hands.

 

Abu G: Yes. Stoning makes sense. Lets stone him and may Allah forgive his sins.

 

Abu F: May Allah forgive all our sins and give us the chance to be called to do his bidding in the battlefield instead of sitting here and having to wrestle with these trivial cases.

 

Abu S: Amiin.

 

Abu G: Amiin.

 

 

Two weeks later, Abu Fas and his companions were summoned to the Somali capital and sent to the front lines to carry the fight to the enemies of Islam. They perished by a stray AMISOM rocket.

[Malika]

How controversial! :eek: ,you mock the son's of Somalia in such a manner,luckly your in London dhe!..

[NGONGE]

^^ Even though you're mocking too, I have noticed that you get as defensive as a lioness with one cub when anyone makes fun of Kashafa. I know you hardly agree with him but he brings out the mother in you, doesn't he?

 

ps

I don't think you'll see him ranting on this thread. As nuts as he is, he still has a sense of humour and gets the point (most times).

 

It's the kid in Sheffield that worries me. He may just lose it and go book his National Express ticket any minute now.

[Malika]

,its good you didnt post this in the Political section,the kid from Sheffield would have been forming in the mouth by now..lol

 

As for Kashafa,heh. Illahi haa daayo,the urge to conform him overwhelms me,I tell ya!

[Che -Guevara]

[Valenteenah.]

LoL @ ABU FAS.