I Want Wifey Back

[Jacaylbaro]

Despite leaving work at around past the 1800 hours yesterday, I still managed to get home about ten minutes after an hour. That was good going I must confess. My dear old friend – Yomi Osibona called me from the UK to let me know my dear sister Kate was in town. I called and we chatted hoping to see tomorrow before she jets back to the land of the Queen

 

Earlier in the day, I remembered to send wifey a text. Guys, you have to learn to send those lovey dovey text messages. They do spice up the relationship you know. I know, I don’t do it often either, but at least I remembered to yesterday;

 

My text: “I might be busy darling but my thoughts are with you. How are you babe?

Wifey: “Mo wa pa! Pacing things. U nko? How is it going. X”

My text: “My heart is gladdened to know that...................................”(you bet I wouldn’t share that with you)

Wifey: “We thank God. Easy with the promises or I’ll take u up on them....Love u too darling. X”

 

And that was how I planted a love text for the day believing it would bring forth good tidings....oh my God, your thoughts are so naughty. Why do you have to think along those lines...anyway. I know wifey appreciated the text and I do not have to write a text application in order to show my physical affection, do I ?

I got home and you know it. You can smell it. You can feel it. . The persona. The demeanour. That mood. That Hello. I have known wifey for 22 years and when she sneezes, I could more or less tell where or how she got the coldBy the way, ‘Mo wa pa’ means I am very well. It is a Yoruba/Nigerian lingua. My wife is not ‘pa’. In fact she was far from ‘Mo wa pa’.

 

What has happened? Why is she in a foul mood? After exchanging the enforced pleasantries, I immediately proceeded upstairs where I met the Children - MD, Prof and Oba. Prof was watching telly because he had finished his homework. MD was at the table screaming, whilst assisting Oba to complete his elongated homework. Meanwhile, MD had her homework to complete.

 

“Hello Dad”, they all said in turns. And not in turns, turned to me to tell me what I thought was not happening. MD threatened to walk off, now that Daddy was around and “Why is Mummy in a mood” she went on to add. “I don’t know.” Was all I could say? But from the setting staring at me, I could tell it must have been Oba – my 5 year old boy who must have wound up wifey just one more time. And from what the wifey I saw downstairs, she had definitely had enough.

 

“Daddy, but why is mum in a mood? I did not do anything”, offered MD once again. “Me neither”, echoed Prof, “and me Daddy. I did not do anything also” screamed Oba.

 

“Okay, Okay. I am tired. I need you guys to finish your homework. Starting with you Oba. MD you can leave, I will take over.” That was my immediate solution. I hadn’t even put my coat Jacket in the hanger. I commenced immediately on my own home - work.

That was a snippet into the house of the Salu’s during the week. This was all wifey had to cope with or without a house support or maid or whatever. This time ‘Blessings’- the 19 day maid veteran had thrown in the towel and it was for wifey to do it all. Doing it all is the issue for me. I was disappointed more for the ordeal these absconded maids put wifey through than for missing them go. While I know it is so necessary to have maids in Nigeria, I still do not feel very comfortable with them. For me, they are an invasion of my privacy. But hey, wifey needs them. I do as well. So we must seek the better ones out there. It may be a wholly selfish way to go about it, but I think the next maid should be a stack illiterate. But, again, these come with its problems. Stack illiterate now but not forever in my vicinity. What happens, when the maid begins to read Financial Times? Would you still be able to send her to buy your local paper without you having to spend hours waiting for her to read up?

 

Seriously, it is one of the major issues here in Nigeria. Seeking, Employing and Maintaining a good maid or driver or support staff. They may be millions unemployed out there, in the blue collar sector, however, these millions are looking for the easiest way out. Everybody believes their employer owns them a favour – that they must make it in life within 3 months or else! Few are willing to work very hard, pay the deuce and reap the rewards afterwards.

 

So I want my wifey back o.

 

Without a maid, wifey would have to work round the clock. The agency was ready to send over another maid on Tuesday, but wifey had to put a stop to it – a sort of rethink, a breather. I really don’t blame her, even though we would all endure her moods for a while unless MD, Prof and Oba hold a meeting, promulgate certain rules, stick by these rules and promise to make life easy for mum – my wifey.

 

 

by Jide Salu

[Jacaylbaro]

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