Single-n-Happy: Another Superficial Topic

[sheherazade]

U seem to be doing a good enough job, no need for reinforcements.

[-Lily-]

Well it obviously depends on the case by case situation. Why do people get together? Because it makes them happy, they make each other happy. Simple.

[Xoogsade]

Originally posted by sheherazade:

U seem to be doing a good enough job, no need for reinforcements.

it is not as much fun when the other experts are here though, I tend to bruise some egos around when I talk, not well trained enough in the art of getting my point without coming across as holier than thou or as a chauvinist little man.

[Valenteenah.]

Originally posted by Xoogsade:

Tell me what is bad about these 70% marriages you saw without being too specific. What are the generalities?

X, I believe you are an eternal optimist. You only ever see the half-full glass, which is fantastic. I wish I could be like you. The main generality is that each and every single marriage I have encountered made me feel sick. I simply can not see myself in such a life or settled with such a person.

 

What's my idea of a perfect marriage? I'll let you know when I encounter one.

 

 

Btw, I learned how to cook at a young age. I had to cook for the family because the only girl for the family was way younger than I was and we aren't a big family. Even my father did his laundry if mother had no time. If I wanted to eat earlier, I had to help. Both parents worked.

 

 

Bottomline, I don't like cooking, an inconvinience I am hoping wify should willingly accept to shoulder

What is "cooking" for her when I take care of everything else huh? I know this is something you would do for your beloved. But we can carry on the fake debates on it.

LoL..there we go. Did I say there was anything wrong in you not wanting to cook? There is no need to explain anything. You like cooking or you don't. Full stop. It's that easy. When you are a man.

 

However, it doesn't seem to be so when you're a girl. Say you don't like cooking and lose half of your womanhood. I see it as a simple preference.

 

I'm a little curious of the 'when I take care of everything else' bit. What's everything else? Getting and keeping a job? Paying the bills? Hardly everything, dear. Hardly.

[Xoogsade]

Valenteenah, I like the eternal "optimist" title you gave me however, I am not blind to existing problems today in somali marriages. I only refuse the idea that if something went wrong with other people's marriages, mine would be the same or somali women would be a failure to me since the ones I saw whose marriages suffered are somalis.

 

 

Considering how somali lives had been shaped by conflicts back home, it is quite natural now for many young ladies to not know how to cook, usually their mothers have taken the burden of cooking for the entire family for many years. I think it would be nice if they saw the benefit of their mother cooking for them while they studied and worked so that they would do the same for their kids. How important it was for them to have ready meal when they were going to school is how important for their future kids it will be to have ready meal at home. That is my point. Not knowing how to cook doesn't make a woman less of a woman but it is a craft essential for a good home. The father chips in too but nothing equates "Hooyo"'s care.

 

 

You are not the romantic type I suppose but if your worries are that your beloved won't serve you breakfast on bed, and you are protesting because of that, I am sure he will accomodate you for a while.

 

PS: You would be surprised at what includes in "everything" LOOL. I am confident enough that after all done and said in a house I am the "Diiq", serving a hot meal would just be one of many voluntary acts done by wify. You have no idea

 

Sorry if I come across as lecturing to you. I have been accused of the practice Don't want to offend sweet little you.

[xiinfaniin]

^^Xoogsadow, it has become quite fashionable for some to argue for the sake of argument and to convince some sisters has proved to be a challenging task. No amount of pragmatism could sway these girls, I tell you. Last time I checked being spinster (or bachelor for that matter) wasn’t a source of fame.

 

To the single-and-not-so-happy folks, get married before you vanish in the gloom of singledom, I say. You are living an incomplete life. If you know it and plan to change it, you are on the right track. If you don’t know that and still continue to shop in the teen’s section, however, you will probably need more lectures from Xoogga !

 

As far as cooking is concerned, I think it’s quite natural for girls to cook. No girl is born with it and it takes practice to perfect it. But raising objection to it defeats the purpose, I say. If some girls don’t want to do it out of antagonism against male folks, they must’ve picked the wrong function to betray. Most girls I know cook with pleasure. So as I said before get on with the program and enhance your cooking skills.

[Valenteenah.]

X, You are not coming across as lecturing. More like a little vain and a bit conceited.

 

 

 

Originally posted by Xoogsade:

I only refuse the idea that if something went wrong with other people's marriages, mine would be the same or somali women would be a failure to me since the ones I saw whose marriages suffered are somalis.

That's what I meant by the 'Half-full glass' comment. You believe your marriage will be different, it won't happen to you (and if it does, Allahu Yaclam, right?). But why should I believe it won't happen to me? What makes me different? I can assure you I'm not any smarter or wiser than any of the married women I know. Anybody can make mistakes, and if some of the beautiful, highly educated, and independent women I know (and am related to) can make such monumental mistakes when it comes to the men they marry, by heck what chance do I have?

 

The only difference is, I'm a little bit more cautious and unwilling to take that risk. Stuff like having my own kids or regular shagging are not that important to me. They don't worry me and they certainly won't force me into settling for mundane domesticity. They say you only have one shot at this life, so why settle for something that won't make you happy?

 

Just accept it, I hate to conform. I hate to 'settle' for something, when I know there is a great deal more out there for me. And I simply hate useless men, which this world is full of. There you go.

 

 

Considering how somali lives had been shaped by conflicts back home, it is quite natural now for many young ladies to not know how to cook, usually their mothers have taken the burden of cooking for the entire family for many years. I think it would be nice if they saw the benefit of their mother cooking for them while they studied and worked so that they would do the same for their kids. How important it was for them to have ready meal when they were going to school is how important for their future kids it will be to have ready meal at home. That is my point. Not knowing how to cook doesn't make a woman less of a woman but it is a craft essential for a good home. The father chips in too but nothing equates "Hooyo"'s care.

Well, that's all good but I wasn't talking about not knowing how to cook. Everyone really should know and if they don't they can learn very easily. It's not much of a problem. However knowing how to cook isn't exactly the same as liking to cook, is it? That's what I'm talking about. Not every woman likes to cook, so it's rather silly to expect that she would want to.

 

I don't buy into the 'hooyo's cooking is always better than aabo's' crap. Feeding your kids is pretty much feeding your kids, it doesn't matter who cooks. That is unless we are talking about breast feeding (which we are not, right?).

 

 

You are not the romantic type I suppose but if your worries are that your beloved won't serve you breakfast on bed, and you are protesting because of that, I am sure he will accomodate you for a while.

LoL. No, I can't say I'm worried about not receiving my breakfast in bed. I don't eat breakfast for one.

[Socod_badne]

Originally posted by Valenteenah:

And I simply hate useless men, which this world is full of. There you go.

Vintage Ahura descended down from the attic! Yee-haa!

[me]

In my opinion us humans are not complete without a partner, without another half, without a companion, without a soulmate, without a lover.

 

So single and happy is a lie (you can not be forever single and be happy with it). I am happy when I am single but I do not want to be single forever. After a long and hard relationship its good to have sometime alone and 'find' your self again. But after that you need to go back to the quest of searching that soulmate, because without it you will not be complete.