N.O.R.F Posted February 28, 2008 ^^Who was he? Tis the wknd, pay day and nice weather :cool: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted February 28, 2008 ^^^Loool. Not in THAT respect dear. lol. North it looks like you have everything going for you today, one of those days where everything is just right...we aint had those in a while. My university is sending us on some residential Friday till Monday, I don't know if I should be looking forward to it or not. :confused: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
-Serenity- Posted February 28, 2008 Hello Trolls! I've a little dilemma that I would appreciate some advice on.... I've been wearing the 'masar' most of last week and this week to work and the security guard, who is a Muslim guy, congratulated and complimented me and has been saying good morning since... Until this morning, when I came with my hair out... He threw a huff and decided to question me... I ignored it and pretended I 'thought' he was askin for my ID, showed it and ran for the lift... now... really, is this any of his business? Should I have stopped him the first time and not taken the compliments and told him I wear my masar when its convenient and it wasnt a sign of piety (wish it was, but truth be told)? I have a feeling he is going to try to talk to me as I walk out this evenining - I even got my lunch internally so I wouldnt have to out and run into him. Quite frankly, he has made me uncomfortable and guilty. How should I approach this with the utmost sensitively without having to explain anything - because I personally feel like this is a private matter and none of his business. I also, dont want to be rude and have a good relationship with him as he is one of two visibly Muslim looking people in the whole building. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted February 28, 2008 Hi Serenity: He is wrong to throw a huff, as I assume he use to see you without your masar before last week. Just tell the truth: Brother I'm not making a mockery of Islam and the Hijab, but I'm still working on it. I would appreciate it if you do not judge me and let me do it in my own time. After all I'm sure he would rather you wore it for the right reasons, in addition surely he has his own short comings (in his Islamic practice) which he would not like if you highlighted it. In any case if he has a role (if any to play in this) it is to encourage you, not scare you into hiding and running from him. It is not fair on you that you may have to avoid wearing it to work again unless you are 100% sure you will keep it on, just to avoid him throwing a huff. Religious practice is one these personal things which depending on your level of Iman is continuously changing, it is hard enough as it is with out someone looking at you disapprovingly every time you work in and out of work. I know you said you don't want to explain yourself, so keep it simple. I don't think you should lie about your intentions. Thats in 2cents, hope it helps. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chubacka Posted February 28, 2008 Hello Sen, If it were me I would go up to him privately, spk to him nicely and jst tell him thanks for caring about me but personally I am not ready to wear hijab full time right now and its something i have to personally be ready for. having said that hijab is an islamic obligation so inshallah make the intention to wear it one day. its not even hard. let us know how it goes. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
N.O.R.F Posted February 28, 2008 Que an Ngonge tale,,,, Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
-Serenity- Posted February 28, 2008 ^No he isnt. Thanks for your advice peeps. But talking to him is what I would like to avoid. Talking will lead to a discussion and a chance for him to (potentially) lecture me. And furthermore, to talk to me at other times. I'm thinking it would be a good idea to just ignore it. And ignore him. And if asked, act confused and pretend I havent the foggiest idea whats going on. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ms DD Posted February 28, 2008 Pray for me is usually good answer. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted February 28, 2008 ^^^Loool. HAHa. Serenity; I just remembered something you told me previously about asking for advise. lol. Damn I wasted 10mins writing that, if only I had remembered it hadeerto. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cara. Posted February 28, 2008 Serenity, I got it. Pretend you're someone else. Ask The Marc to lend you his shades Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
STOIC Posted February 28, 2008 Serenity, More than likely, this interchange sounds familiar to many girls who don’t wear Hijab.Yes you can ignore the brother every morning and go through the security line with a speed of light or you can sit down with the brother if he ever brings it up. You need to ask yourself what spiritual influences are important to you at this time and how have this feelings been informing you about your dressing style? Are you happy with the way you feel about your choice of not wearing a Hijab? If you are happy with your choice then the issue now is not about you, but how you will interact with the young man in question. The art of getting along with people is an art of negotiating differences; this will require both parties to be accommodating each other views. Some differences maybe so principle oriented that they may not be amounting to any negotiation. You need to realize that you are dealing with an individual who maybe judging individuals by their looks. Although it makes perfect sense to him to do so, it may irritate you and any non-Hijabi wearing woman.Each society builds a relationship on the bedrock of shared values.It would be wise to have a spirited discussion with the individuals if he ever raises the question why you made your choice the way you did without resorting to counter-attacks that may sound more like dysfunctional family. PS Serenity, if you see Val in the street of London pass my greetings! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sheherazade Posted February 28, 2008 Huff aa? LoL. Give no explanation. And don't hide. The guilt is for you to deal with, his huff is for him to control. If he is comfortable enough lecturing you, you should get comfortable telling him how he's coming across. Something for the both to reflect on. When he asks to marry you- HIDE. P.S: a 2 week long bad hair day? Ouch. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaliyyah Posted February 29, 2008 I don't understand when one puts the Hijab on and off like seriously isn't better to make up your mind? and stick with one side?? No hard feelings. p.s. As for the security guard, you can put up with his lecture and thank him. Or just tell him that you don't care to be preached. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NGONGE Posted February 29, 2008 Do you think she spent the night in the office? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
