Feminine Vs. Feminist

[underdog]

What is a feminine woman( as opposed to a feminist)?

 

1) A feminine woman is motivated by love of husband and children. She is the heart of the family, devoted to her husband and children's wellbeing. This is her career. A woman who is preoccupied with another demanding career cannot pay attention to her family. Love is mainly paying attention. There is a New Yorker cartoon where a child is wearing a welder's mask and using a blowtorch to write, "I need love" on the living room wall. His mother says to her friend: "He's just doing that to get attention."

A feminine woman may have another career but it is her second priority. She is not driven by personal ambition. I liked the movie "Legally Blonde" because the heroine showed that she could excel in the work world but why bother? She had a more important goal: a husband and family.

 

Career is a feminist lie. Since when are careers the source of human fulfillment? What is so great about being an Assistant Loan Manager at a bank? Is society expected to provide successive legions of eager feminists with "fulfilling" careers to compensate for their loveless lives?

 

2)Feminists are teaching women to be "strong and independent." This is not feminine. Men respond to a woman's need. We want to rescue the damsel in distress and to win her favors. This archetype is also innate in women. She wants to be enlisted by a man.

A feminine woman DEPENDS on a man. This doesn't mean she is an emotional waif. She is competent but she doesn't pretend to be independent. Men and women need each other to be whole. As long as I have my wife, I am self-sufficient. So is she.

 

3)Just as the woman is the heart of the family, the man is the head and shoulders. A feminine woman is her husband's partner. They make decisions together but he has the last word. Men must be the visionaries, the navigators, and the captains. A woman's most important decision is the man she chooses to love.

 

 

4)A feminine woman is reserved. She wants a man to pay attention to "her" so she doesn't flaunt her sexuality. A woman wants to be loved more than anything in the world. She wants to be "known" in all her divinity. This happens when she is truly loved. Is it a coincidence the Bible uses the word "know" as in Abraham "knew" Sarah, to speak of sexual intercourse? All women are beautiful when they are loved.

Women's liberation has taught women to pursue sex for its own sake, as though they were men. This is not feminine. If a man prefers a new car, why would he marry a "used" woman? He doesn't want a car that's been driven by a lot of men. He doesn't know where it's been, what damage has been done. He will choose a brand new car. In my wife's words: "A man wants to be a woman's first lover; a woman wants to be his last."

 

I'm not saying all women should save their virginity until marriage but certainly sex should be reserved for honest, loving relationships. Men need to stop looking for sex and start looking for the right woman. That's the only guarantee of sex anyway.

 

If men chose wives with the same attention as cars, more marriages would succeed. Women are the vehicles to the future, in terms of emotional fulfillment and family. If men knew where they wanted to go, they would choose women who would get them there. They would not be blinded by sex.

 

5)A feminine woman tries to please the man she loves. No, this has not been outlawed, it just seems that way. A feminine woman generates love by giving love. She empowers her man by believing in him. Love is expressed in actions and effort. Baking a pie is an act of love. So is making the home beautiful. Are we so blind, impoverished and demoralized that we cannot appreciate this? Why have we allowed feminists to stigmatize homemaking? Women would be more than happy to be homemakers if it received the recognition and appreciation that it deserves.

 

A feminine woman has grace, beauty and wisdom. These all come from staying in touch with her spirit and not pursuing an exhausting career that requires masculine qualities.

[Sophist]

I just dislike this pegionholling of the people. I prefer a woman (darling I am sure you are ) with qualities of independecy and tenderness. Woman with intellect does not mean she deprived feminine qualities-- dumbnness don't mean dear darling. These days some of the brothers are afraid of any lady who might ask questions-- some questions they are obligated to and perhaps fitting to ask us; we should prepare for the loving challenge our companions may bringforth.

 

Give me strong woman any time! I just dislike anyone who is docile be that a female or male.

 

Anyhow, I think the secret to a sucessful relationship is an utter mutual adoration--both physically and spritually. This feminine and muscline business wax runtii dadka IS AHI quseeya ma uu ah.

 

Nabad

[Reality Check]

UD,

 

Coming from you, this thread is no surprise. To go around and say things like "career is a feminist lie" shows that you have a problem with women who "choose" to work and provide for themselves and their families. You would rather save a damsel in distress who relies on the male species for survival. This is a cutthroat world we live in where men cheat, lie and leave their spouses and kids. To not have women working or gaining education and work experience does not make sense. but then again, you must have the male definition of feminism; that feminists are lesbian man-hating bra-burning psychotic women with no feminine grace. Got that all wrong. Men just have a problem with women who make their own life-decisions, and i suggest you stop blaming it on the feminists and start getting real with yourself on how you view women.

 

 

Sincerely,

 

Damsel in control

[underdog]

DA,

since you have this all figured out, where does your husband fit in your master plan? What's his role? If he's that expendable, what good is he to you?

 

Let's talk about the man you're looking for. Elusive subject around here. Tell me about him. Convince me you're not a lesbian man-hating bra-burning psychotic woman with no feminine grace.

 

I said nothing about denying women education, and I'm disturbed how you and your posse always raise that issue (you can quote me if I said you shouldn't get an education).

 

Am I wrong to think you don't trust your man to be around? be a father to your kids and provide for you? Where is this phobia coming from that all men are cheating dogs that will bail out on you when you need them most?

 

Polite request:

Can I ask that we don't let this discussion escalate into a conflict? I made no attacks at anyone present. can I expect the same in your replys?

[Narcissistic-Sister]

Whoa! :rolleyes:

 

2)Feminists are teaching women to be "strong and independent." This is not feminine. Men respond to a woman's need. We want to rescue the damsel in distress and to win her favors. This archetype is also innate in women. She wants to be enlisted by a man.

A feminine woman DEPENDS on a man. This doesn't mean she is an emotional waif. She is competent but she doesn't pretend to be independent. Men and women need each other to be whole. As long as I have my wife, I am self-sufficient. So is she.

 

 

<--Working on a project for Women's Rights in Somalia...does that make me a feminist?

 

<--Has the Islamic values...raising family is very important in our family!

 

<--Doesn't know how to turn on the STOVE! Doesn't that make me a feminist? Since feminine women bake apple pie!

 

<-- :confused:

[Reality Check]

Originally posted by underdog:

DA,

I said nothing about denying women education, and I'm disturbed how you and your posse always raise that issue (you can quote me if I said you shouldn't get an education).

How about the part where you said "career is a feminist lie".

 

Second of all, its not logic to think that men will always be around. Isn't the divorce rate above 50% nowadays. That's a proof men are not always around. Look at the somali demographics. Didn't you notice all those women who have 5 kids but no husband in sight?

 

My man will be expected to be a man, and I am supposed to be the woman. I think the whole conflict lies in what men think women are supposed to be. Let him be the father of my kids and support them. Let him go out into the world and work and interact. But do not say women do not belong there also. If career is a feminist lie, then Kadijah was the biggest feminist of all! (we're talking about the first convert here).

 

I think that all men should just get over it! Honestly, are you all that afraid of women with options

 

a friendly message :cool:

[Sophist]

Men are Suppose to be MEN

 

And Women are suppose to be WOMEN.

 

Hadii arinkaan lafahmo oo la aqbalo, isma dhahaayo dhib ayaa jirta. Besides, i don't this feminist issue is something that is prevelent in our Society. Our lovely sisters are so Romantic; it is for us to cultivate that and fulfill their desires and our moral duty.

 

Waxaan jirin yaan la abuurin.

 

Nabad

[underdog]

are you all that afraid of women with options

No, I'm afraid of women making regrettable decisions.

 

Isn't the divorce rate above 50% nowadays. That's a proof men are not always around. Look at the somali demographics. Didn't you notice all those women who have 5 kids but no husband in sight?

Why is the divorce rate so high? is all the man's fault. Maybe the fact that mommy's never home has something to do with.

Divorce remains at historic highs compared with the 1950s. Analyses of baby-boomer couples suggest that one-half of their first marriages will end in divorce or separation. Many analysts attribute the rise in divorce to the economic independence engendered by women's increased presence in the labor force.

http://asweb.artsci.uc.edu/sociology/kunzctr/stats.htm#Marriage%20and%20Divorce

Read the whole report, it's pretty interesting.

 

College graduate women with both family and career had a divorce rate that was 20 to 30 percent higher than average for the entire group of college

http://www.harvard-magazine.com/issues/mj96/right.love.html

That article is even better, read the whole thing.

 

 

Out of the 12 wives of the Prophet (S.A.W) you choose 1 and ignore the rest. Khadija was not a career woman in today's slave-like corporate world. She headed her own business and prioritized her time. The amazing strength to pull that off is rare. If you've got it, more power to you.

 

My main point (as always) is being a house-wife doesn't make you less of a human being, 11 wives of the Prophet (S.A.W) can be your examples on that. AND pursuing a career in this "cutthroat world" doesn't necessarily make you a better person.

[Reality Check]

Originally posted by underdog:

No, I'm afraid of women making regrettable decisions.

[/QB]

What is regrettable, that she chooses to work? so is your stance, that women should NOT work?

 

As for the divorce rate, i never mentioned the causes of it, but rather that divorce HAPPENS. I am not narrow-minded enuff to think that its all MEN's fault

[underdog]

DA,

In your opinion, can a woman to stay home and raise a family instead of trying to balance it with a career? is it an appropriate option?

[Reality Check]

All I am saying is a woman can make the choice: to be a homemaker, careerwoman, or just plain ol' in the middle..

 

From your post, all I understand is your animosity towards women who work. Do you think careers are exclusively a man's "thing"?

[OG_Girl]

Well, i would gladly stay home and take care of my husband and kids IF he can provide good life for me and kids ... including paying private schools for kids as u know public schools every where is sucks plus car for me ... maid to cook and clean the house

 

salam

[Reality Check]

^ see that's a girl who made her choice

 

 

Besides, my mom raised us AND she worked. We all came out fairly sane...so that's one successful story, don't you think UD?

[underdog]

Do you think careers are exclusively a man's "thing"?

No I don't. I think family comes first. Needs have to be met (as OG_girl clearly illustrated). Relative to your situation, if you have no man to provide for you, by all means do your thing and feed your kids.

 

I'm against people (men & women) who use their homes as a short break between all the things they have to get done in the little time they have. I'll break my back to make sure my woman get everything she needs to make that house a home that allows proper raising for our kids. I PREFER she handle that and let me tackle all the external things. isn't that what a team is? a family that can share responsibilty? She handles local and I handle State and Federal.

[Reality Check]

I see. So instead of you staying home, and taking care of YOUR kids, you would rather a woman do that

 

 

Gotcha!