I want to get married

[Adna]

salaam

 

sis Balsam is Guur ku siduusuba waa calaf and know that u know that. walaashiis have fate as all the nomads said you don't need to put ur self in a danger situation cuze u can't say i need to got maary whom ever knocks my door. macaanto allah bari and he knows what all best for us. I know and i'm aware of that dumurku waqtigoodu in uu yahay wax kooban and our time keep tickeling marka as sis xaliimo said i never saw who doesn't want to gor mareid.All in all we need to admit the fact that i'ts petter for us to have familly in young age. Our periority should be our feture not some thing else but the other way you can't forgot ur education i know every women can have familly and educate her self. I couldn't emagine one day i met this lady she is an Rn nurse she has 4 kids i thing she went school when she was having her kids marka walaalo anaga ayaa iska dhigeeno daciif ma'ogiye we can do it can't we? marka sis have fate and allah knows what is best for you. ma'salaama

[imperial-lady]

Hey, dont' worry about girl. I mean it's just marriage, besides these things are pre-recorded, therefore; u shouldn't think like that. Besides who wants to get married....at 26.....Me more like 30. Well good luck.

[cuite_wit_da_booty]

hey gurl sup,

i ain't trying to be mean or anything i just want to let u know that i have alot's of bro's. if ur just waiting someone to nock ur door i'm more then happy to hook u up with one of my brother's halla me back gurl.

[SCORPION_SISTA]

It seems you have lost faith...Faith in yourself and that one day a man will come who says to you "you are that one special woman for me"...There comes a time in our lives, when all of us, well at least me, question some decisions I have made in my life...But i always never regret them, because a road not traveled doesn't always lead to better life...So what if u had married young, i mean u would have miss out on the things u had done, and consequently the person you are today...Maybe your friends are getting married and your own loneliness is having you doubt that one decision which had made u want to wait in the first place for getting married...It is tempting the idea of having someone know you intimately and vice versa but desperation and aging doesn't make a marriage work but hard work and commitement does...And if u had felt, as a younger woman, you couldn't put that commitement, then i would say u had made the right decision to wait...As to having a less qualified men approaching you, maybe they are smelling your desperation and fear, and bouncing on it like a dogs...U see if you urself don't believe that you deserve someone especiall or respect your own pervious desires even when your age is increasing, it's hard for anyone particuarlly men to respect you...Simply you give the vibes that any guy off the street would do therefore they are knocking on your door...I am a firm believer that "Good things come to those who wait"...So my advice to you is have patience, relax, and enjoy yourself...It isn't like you going to be 26 yrs every year...Bee bye

[Khayr]

Salaamz,

Marriage isn't a joke and neither is it something to rush into when you are young.

By Barwaaqo

 

Interesting?

You know if you go over to the otherside of the world, in muslim dominated lands you would get a difference response.

I don't think that they would say 'No, you're too young to get married now'

 

Why would have a different view then what

most predominates in the pyschi and mentality of Western people and in this case, Somali Women

who are located in the West?

 

Whats funny in all your responses with the exception on sister and she doesn't live in the West (thus reflecting her response), is that most of you have adviced Balsam to hold off and wait and even try to wait until 30.

I don't know how old are some of you,

but if you just sit down and reflect , Balsam is in a situation that many of you are headed towards and Alhamdulillah, reality is striking her and she is admitting to things that maybe she would have not admitted a fews yrs ago.

Correct me if I am wrong, Balsam.

 

In anycase,

If you put your Dunya before your Akhera then you will lose out on the Akhera and vice versa.

Seems like Education and more Education then a CAREER, is what is a priority to some of you.

 

If only you would open your eyes,

If only you would open your eyes

and see what Allah is showing you

through other people that are older then

you.

 

Fi Amanallah

[Raxmah]

Asalamu alaikum

 

Balsam everything that happens, happens for a reason. I understand that while in undergrad, you thought it wasn't the right time to get married. I really feel ya on this, now am in my second year studying, just turned 20 and have been approached by 2 brothers and I said no, and everytime I say no I wonder if I will regret it later in life. Am just stuck in this mentality that I have to finish school first then get married, but I know I still can do both. My parents keep telling me, dont make a mistake you will regret, and am definitely hearing that from your post. Inshallah I will change my way of thinking.

 

Also Balsam, you are not that old. you are still young and don't just say yes to the 1st person who knocks at your door make sure he's righteuos and striver for the sake of allah. just get to know them first so you dont make a decision you will regret.

[Zakariye]

s/calaykum,

Balsam walaal marka ugu horeysa waxaan kuu taagey gacan, waayoo qof qof katagey ayaa run ku hadli karaa, waxaan ku faraxsanahey in aad tahey gabar soomli ah oo dhab ahi, oo weli jecel in ay guursato , ilaahna waxaan kaaga baryay in si dhaqsi uu kuugu sahlo , guur wacan oo ilaah kaaga dhigo mid aad ku waarto oo illahna idiin ka siiyo ubad kheyr badan, hadda waxaad kaloo moodaa in gabdho fara badan ay runtii, aysan fahmin su'aasha aad weydiisey, marka sidaas daraadeed wax jawaab aan siinayo ma jirto ,ilaah ha u gargaaro, gabdhaheena iska dhigayaa in aay wax waliba yaqaanan oo og mustaqbilkooda, dadaala yaan gabdhaha idiin ka dambeeyo hortiina lagu guursan , war hurdada ka kaca, war waa ceeb, meesha ka kaca, lol. walaal ilaah ha kuu sahlo nin fiican.

[Reality Check]

Balsam,

 

You are a grown intellectual person, so ask yourself this question:

 

do you want to get married because ALL your friends are married?

 

or

 

Do you want to get married to someone you love and will cherish forever?

 

Hon, do not rush into marriage with the next guy because he proposed! You know that there are losers dying to get married...and trust me you dont want to be part of the somali single mother statistic na'mean.

 

There are alot of single men out there that are looking for that special someone - so just like someone else here have suggested...get the word OUT THERE...maybe your married friends' husbands know of the perfect bachelor..so discretely slip it in that you are looking..

 

Oh, and try to make the best of your freedom while you still have it

 

[Thinkerman]

Salam Calayakum ppl.

 

I can only applaud Balsam for wanting to share her life experience regarding this most important of matters. I think her lesson can be learned by some if not all of the females on here. It should be take as a lessons ((i hope i dont come across as being patronising)). Its great that most you should endavour to complete your education and further yourselves, however you shouldnt loose sight of everything else.

[mangalool]

asalaamu caleykum dhamaantiinba.

BALSAM... run ahaantii walal waa arin wanaagsan, inuu qofku ka fekero aayihiisa, runtiina guur waa nasiib, qofna tarantiisa lama godgalo, hadii ilaahay uqoray inuu wax dhalo, ama caruur yeesho, waa wax qoran, inagase dadaaal ayaa la inaga doonayaa , iyo inaynu ficil lanimaadno.

hadana markaynu nidhaahno rag iyo dumar 2daba waxaa uwanaagsan inuu qofku yaraan ku guursado, weliba haweenka ayaa aad uugu fiican walaal.

run ahaantii aniga ra,yigayga,,26jir way ila weyntahay, markaan naftayda ka hadlayo, hadana run ahaantii qof walbaab maanta wuxuu ku hamiyayaa qof wax yaqaana oo uu nolosha la wadaago, rag iyo dumar kuudoono ha ,ahaado,e.

waxaase loo baahan yahay inaad kafiirsato run ahaantii ruuxa aad isleedahay nolosha share,gareeya caqiidiyan iyo dhaqan ahaanba, ama qof kula mida ha noqdo ama qof kaa aqoon roon haba noqdo,e.

guurkii maanta wuxuu noqday ijiid aan kujiido,e waana nasiib daro, sida aynu ubadanahayna,

malaa ma aynu aqoonsanin ama ma aynu qeexi karno bal waxa uu guurku yahay.

waxaan ksuoo koobayaa aragtidyda.

ceel dad liqa ul-dheer baa la iskaga dayaa!!

wabilaahi towfiiq.

[-Serenity-]

Did any1 notice all the guys advocating marriage at the earliest and on a 1st come 1st serve basis.. and of course the ladies asking her to hold out for the true knight in shining khamiis?

 

Now, whats this say?

 

I dont know whats it about men, they just love needy, grumbling and dissatisfied women :rolleyes:

[QUANTUM LEAP]

Commitment to anything is all about Personal Choices. Everyone is not the same here. Each lady has different needs in life some are so focused on wanting to conquer the world and others have basic needs like having someone to love and a family to care for. Whether these choices are right or wrong for these individuals is something none of us can comprehend.

 

For some it’s about achieving the ultimate goal education, independence, worldly goods and maybe at 45 have the first test tube baby . For others it’s just a normal healthy God given right that they should all fulfill as long as they are ready for that commitment. So if the sister says she’s desperate for marriage then I think we should sympathizes and wish her all the best rather than try to make a lot out of it. For all we know her Biological clock is ticking faster than many who have the time. She deserves your encouragement and I for one would help her achieve it if I knew her as I got far too many friends who are single and willing to make that commitment.

 

A word of advice is, try to be social and mingle with people and not run every time you see a man. How successful you are in finding Mr. Right depends on the company you keep. You go the Mosque, you are likely to get men who are already married and probably looking for the second wife. If you stay home, you would probably end up with a cousin, as the only people who visit are most likely your relatives. Sometimes you need to take a chance and play your lucky card and always remember ALLAH HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES.

 

NOTHING VENTURED…. NOTHING GAINED!!

 

Good Luck sister and none of the above people should discourage you from achieving your objective.

[-Serenity-]

Shaqsii, you have clearly defined two roles for a woman here - home or career (subconsciously hinting the former to be the ideal path) and you intentionally failed to mention those who combine them successfully.

 

Another Classic reply from a Lad.

 

Balsam, I apologise for not addressing your topic but the ladies have clearly said all there is to be said. Have faith and the right one will come along

[Rokko]

Guyz take it easy on da sista, I'm glad she shared her story/concernz or whateva...but I dont' think some of you should be dissing her and put her in a deperado situation na'mean. Sis, I'm glad you doing ur thang as far as Skool goez so keep that up..and when it comez to maryying I couldn't say better myself like some Nomadz said, You dont' marry someone cuz of someone told ya..cuz ur getting old..or ur friendz did it. Do it cuz U think it's right and you feel that person

 

One more I want to said is keep in there's something Called CALAF, so no matter who/what/where, it all comes down to Allah's SW plan.

 

One..

[QUANTUM LEAP]

I can’t help but think that you are bordering the super natural now that you can easily read my subconscious thoughts :rolleyes: . But as they say “ the truth is out there..” Athena; don’t forget that is still a matter of personal choice. Besides subconsciously or not there is nothing wrong with what I was advocating for. What you think is right may not necessarily be right for the rest of us. You could juggle both marriage and career but I doubt many can achieve what you are talking about without some sort of sacrifice from one partner or other.