dawoco Posted October 17, 2003 Ok, so men are intitled to have four wives in our religion, no muslima can dispute that fact. But isn't it their duty to inform their first wives instead of letting her find out through the gossip mill? Is it necessary to lie about such a thing? After all, no woman can stop her husband from getting another wife, no matter how much a fuss she kicks. And another thing, how can men that can barely support a wife in a european country take on another household? I thought that a man has to have his life in order before taking another responsability on. That he had to be able to treat his wives equal. How come this doesn't seem to apply to our men? I am slightly confused..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkerman Posted October 17, 2003 Dont be just know that Humans are selfish and that that has a major role to play in what ever they chose to do. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sMiLeY Posted October 17, 2003 well........ first do all somalis always follow the religion? not following the religion makes them not care if they can offored it or not or if they're going to treat them equally or not. it's very often that u see a man who leaves his wife in a country and goes to another country looking for a better opportunity.......... hey after few months he finds a women and marrys her...........forgetting his reponsibility with the family he left behind........ i mean in this case he's not even being fair with the days he spends with each one of the. And those women who marry a man who's already married......... why i wonder... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OG Moti Posted October 17, 2003 Little crazy Dawaco good point, first time i totally agree with u, beside there are conditions and rules before u even think of 2 socond wife not to mention the 3rd and 4th ones... 1. your first wife has to agree 2. you have to treat them well and equally 3. support them equally, u buy one thing to one buy to all, imagin that now, most of ur money goes to one lady how about 2 or 4 .. man and somali men want to support 4 on welfare money .. war cusub... 4. there must be a good reason, such us ur first wife is sick and can produce kids and so on this is islamically allowed but it was for a purpose to solve a problem existed that time, and still exist in many countries .. which is lack of men... but Islam is fair so islam puts a hard conditions on doing so, and many men lets say over 95% can not satisfy those conditions .. and if u do it knowing u can not meet those conditions u are doing a sin and being unfair, and Allah subxnahuu watacaalaa is fair and doesnt like unfirness... peace Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nephissa Posted October 17, 2003 It's a known fact that there is a higher ratio of women to men so by sheer numbers alone, there are more women than there are men. When a Faarax is removed from the "available" list, it adds more stress to the situation for the single Xaliimo who wants to have a responsible and loving 'husband' to bare babies with. Personally I don't like the idea of sharing a husband, but if worse came to worst… I'd probably be down for it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Liqaye Posted October 18, 2003 Hi dawaco, The religion as OG_moti said is explicit on how to marry a second wife and under what circumstances . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Reality Check Posted October 18, 2003 Dawaco, Because somali men who THINK they can raise another family are just ****** ....not only that, they lack manners and respect for all parties involved. I think that everyone woman who marries a man should write up a contract BEFORE marriage about not marrying another wife..cuz god knows I will! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Khayr Posted October 18, 2003 Salaamz, You know I was talking to some older brothers about this once and one of them told me that you don't have to. I was shocked to here that a muslim husband doesn't have to ask one his wives permission to marry another wife. (I don't have an ayat or hadith or fatwa from a famous alim on stand by right now!!!) But as time went by, and I hear the ladies on SOL crying about the 'INJUSTICE'. Well, it starts to make sense to me cause if a man was to ask each of his wives or his only wife if he could marry another sister, well in most cases probably 90%, the women would say 'OHHH, HELL NA, WARYAA, YA EEMALAYINESA (WHO DO YOU THINK I AM)'. It will never make sense to the ladies b/c women are not driven by pragmatism (whats practical) but by emotion (this is what I heard Oprah and Hibo Nuro say ) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blessed Posted October 18, 2003 Originally posted by Opinionated: I think that everyone woman who marries a man should write up a contract BEFORE marriage about not marrying another wife..cuz god knows I will! Makes perfect sense. I'd add sharing with the upbringing of the children - and I don't mean just providing for them financially! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Valenteenah. Posted October 18, 2003 ^ Good Plan.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
