The Art of loving yourself

[Chocolate and Honey]

I'm into personal devolopment and growth nowdays. I read all sorts of books. So most of the books I read so far deal with human emotions. Several focus on deep seated fears and anxiety about being alone(NOTE: NOT LONELY BUT ALONE). The author says, we are born ALONE and we leave this world ALONE and this simple fact causes us tremendous pain since we dont know where we will end up. Therefore, we latch on to other people, bad habits and false hopes because of this fear of being alone.

One of the books has an exercise where the reader is challanged to treat themselves to a day or a night out. Just by yourself.

 

So my question is do you take yourself out? And do you enjoy it when you're out on your own?

So far I can only treat myself to a coffee at a bookstore. I cant bring myself to eat by myself or see a movie by myself.

[Che -Guevara]

I love title

 

I do do things by myself though that does not include going to movies alone. I couldn't do that for some reason.

[nuune]

ALONE marka laga hadlayo ma physical baa laga hadlayaa mise isbirijuwal, waayo labaduba wey is duqeeyaan, iskana soo horjeedaan, mar hadaad ALONE ka noqoto isbirijuwali then waa kuu dhamaatey, waxaadna u baahantahay dhowr Qulwalle iyo Faataxooyin is daba ordayo,

 

laakin ALONE in physical format taas waa baab kale, baabul madar ayaa la galayaa oo qofka banii aadamka ah marar badan ayuu marxalada soo maraa iyo mowjada iska soo horjeeda, hadba suu qofka u arko ayey ku xirantahay, tusaale anoo kaligeey ah oo meel xeeb ah luga baxsi iskaga aadey micnaheedu ma ahan inaan kaligeey ahey, waa la ila xiriiraa oo waan badnahay, isla markaana maskaxdeyda waxaa ku jira 123 barnaamij oo mid kasta saaran iska-roge u gooni ah iyo ina-taree, taas oo ka dhalaneeso in aanan ku raaxeesan kalinimadii aan u aadey luga baxsiga aan is lahaa iska soo leerso oo hawo neecaaw ah iska soo qaado.

[Juxa]

call me loner, but i feel very very comfortable, going into a restaurant and eating by myself, shopping, doing all sort of things.

 

CH one should indeed undertake many activities ALONE.

 

self-help book lakin uma baahnid waa lacag dhameys

[Chocolate and Honey]

Che,

When you are doing things by yourself, do you intentionally do it or it just so happens. For instance, going grocery shopping and intentionally turning off your cell phone on Sunday afternoon so that you can take a walk or read a book under a tree are two different things.

 

Nuune,

xageed aaday? Marki aan ku fahmi jirin aa la gaaray. Let me clarify. I meant alone as in being by yourself without a partner, friend, co-worker, neighbor etc. Just you, going about your day and doing things you normally would do with friends such as eating, shopping, seeing movies or walking on a lake. You brought up a good point which is enjoyment. Do you enjoy being by yourself or are you comfortable?

 

 

Juxa,

Kudos to you! I’m working towards eating by myself. There is something to be said about self sufficiency. If you’re someone who doesn’t mind being alone, you have certain freedom from anxieties that plague the human soul. They say you’re better at coping with situations such as break up or divorce than someone who is dependant and needy.

 

And oh yeah, I don’t EVER most of the books. I just get them from the library or read them for free at Bookstores. LOL!

[Somalicentric.]

C&H... did you not see my date? (with me, myself & I) it was AMAZING, until the end where i told myself not to come upstairs lol

 

You learn a lot about yourself walahi, i agree w/juxa self help books give you generic tips, only you can fully reflect inwards

[Chocolate and Honey]

No I missed it. What do you mean, not come upstairs? LOL!

[BUKURR]

.. I always walk alone, literally all aspects of my life are characterized by being alone.

 

Join the club Ms Malab, and enjoy!

 

[BUKURR]

..oops hehehee

[Juxa]

CH, i never felt the need to have someone around, period. kaligeed socoto waligaa ma maqashay.

 

having said that, one cannot deny the benefit of having your best friend with you, or lazy afternoon walking by the thames with a loved one.

 

there is a limit to everything, and loneliness must be kept at bay, if it reaches the stage of INA-TAREE/is-roge, naftaada qatar bey ku jirtaa calaashan one stop before aad isku buuqdid.

 

i think each and everyone woman has a duty to manage on her own, walk alone, dine alone, shop alone, pay the bills alone. it helps you to value your own instead of depending valuation/approval from others.

[Che -Guevara]

C&H....Something are unplanned.For instance, if meeting gets canceled or something I had to do didn't pan out, I usually don't run off the next project. I use the free time to take walk, watch movie, go swimming, little things that make life pleasurable. So much of our lives is scheduled, these freebies help. Other times, my actions are more deliberate. Last time, I did something completely alone was hiking trip to Vermont.

 

I agree with Juxa, moderation is the key.

[Somalicentric.]

LOL C&H "myself" got a lil slick after a couple of vimto, so after the taxi ride... "myself" wanted to come upstairs, if ya know what i mean

 

Ilahaey amarkisa, "I" stepped in and said, "is qabo xaaji this is only our first date" and "me" just blushed

 

My Date

[BUKURR]

^ what a beautiful voice that was, the song on your page, I couldn't stop listening, thank you!

[Somalicentric.]

It's a beautiful song wale, i love it when he says,

 

"hadaan dibadey ku joogo

hadaan dulinimada yeelo

dadkeenii wuu soo dhaqaaqey

hadaan naga daad gureysaan"

[Valenteenah.]

Yes, you might say I like taking myself out - it's never been a problem or an issue to do things by myself.

 

I've been on extended holidays alone. I often see highly anticipated movies by myself - but this is more down to my dislike of people trying to have conversations or sitting too closely to me at the pictures. I love the crisp air in cinemas and human warmth just spoils it, so even if I do go with family, friends or hubby, I like to put a seat or two between myself and the nearest person. It drives them nuts but hey - that's how I am most comfy. Even at home, I prefer to watch DVDs alone than to partake in family movie-nights (previous attemps have all ended in deadly arguments with remotes and popcorn flying everywhere). For some reason I only ever lose my temper when watching films with others. Running commentary, loud eating noises, fiddling with the volume, constantly rewinding...all drive me insane!

 

Don't get me started on shopping with friends or siblings. I dither over shopping. I'll make the rounds around the store over and over and over again and after an hour leave with nothing. Now doing that sort of thing makes any companion a potential murderer. And me a potential victim. So for my own safety, I MUST shop alone.

 

Probably the only thing I have trouble doing by myself is going to the gym. URG!