A culture of self-despise! Soomalidu waa sidaas......!

[Jamster]

Hi people;

 

Last night I went to a distant cousin's wedding. As usual the place was distastefully lavish-- women wearing aromas that even a seasoned aromancer found intorolable couple with what their adornment of ghastly diracyo iyo canbuuro........!

 

Oh come on! Indeed it was not anything of that sort (i could have described that way if I was a self-hating Somali). The place was indeed quite the celebration it was intended it to be in the first place. Guests of no more than 200 arrived and rather unusually the pride and groom arrived on time 8:30pm to be precise. I run into various different people that I haven't seen for a while. The place was busy but not terribly packed. I initially arrived with another distant cousin who is closely related to the groom and rather than enjoying himself; he took upon the duty of welcoming guests (I doubted at the time that he did this out of cordiality and civility; I suspected that he indeed was in this for rather un-gentlemanly reasons; I leave that to your imagination dear reader). Thusly, I was left by myself to find a suitable table; after looking around I saw an empty table and rushed to it like a lion who saw a plump she camel. Before I sat; I inspected the room and saw that the far right corner chair would afford me to have the best view of the room. As I sat; I began to enjoy the colourful spectacle of the female guests (always do that whenever I go to a wedding which these days means once in a blue moon); you must always do this and compare the serenity before madness ensues---- that is when the music starts and everyone fights it's spot in the dance floor. It is almost Darwinian thing as those who think they have the groove try to outdo one another in the hope that the spectating ladies would find him enamoured. I further saw many faces that were familiar to me but I could not put names to them. I pondered when I catch the bird that I will Insha Allah spend the rest of my time with whether I would have something like this. But the idea of my lady sitting and happily being inspected by all these eyes morally frightens me to the core of my being. While we are on the subject; what makes these people subject themselves to this horrid and immoral (from Islamic point of view) decadence! Oh bugger, I am derailing; get it a grip; come back to the topic. Anyhow, around ten minutes into my thoughts and a throng of ladies sat on my table and I might add without the courtesy of asking whether these seats were occupied. They were your usual Somali beauties; most sporting longish necks that most super models would thoroughly envy. The one who sat next to me was wearing reddish dirac with velvet jacket which she took off later to reveal …….! Oh well; she was simply THE representation of what a beauty ought to be. You would think this must have come about generation of careful breeding; then I realised God has been kind to her (a thought I later understood why). She looked and smiled; her teeth perfect like an American teenager living Orange county. Anyhow, most of the girls went to the dance floor when that clichéd song was unsurprisingly played—lyrics go like; “if I were to abandon the lady; I can’t for her love burns inside me; whenever I glance her I feel as though I am swimming in the valleys of paradise”! expectedly the girls all went to the dance floor. I remained seated of course. For the record my dear reader before you pass a judgment; I CAN DANCE only when I am leaning against the wall and rocking my head with the beat all the time my hands crossed as though I am being uneasy about something. Anyhow, the craziness I mentioned early ensued. Everyone rushed to dance floor which as you can imagine can not accommodate 200 people.

 

Anyhow, I enjoyed the spectacle from afar and before the song finished; the girl who sitting next to me came back; this time not smiling. She sat and murmured something! I ignored (girls like these thing that every guy is interested in her if they even say Salaam; so I didn’t want to burst her inflated self love). She then looked at my direction; by this time I was playing with BB; it has a great game that you cannot defeat your opponent; it keeps you sane at times of excessive self-love.” Walaal, you are bored right”? was the first thing that came out of her Joliesque mouth. I smilled and said is it really that obvious? She then went into long tirade of how she hates anything Somali. The more she talked the clearer it got that GOD has bestowed this infallible beauty on her—she was simply dumb!. The male readers might say what a perfect girl she is. I wouldn’t have concurred 6 years ago when I was in my teens. But now; I have no time for people who are not intellectually stimulating—that is for another blog. She told me that she does not socialise with Somalis (check the reason out) because they are ignorant and lazy. After what seemed an hour into her diatribe against Somalis; I said Darling; balkanisation; generalisation is the ammunition of the uncritical mind and with that I left the table of course excusing her as I saw a gent who was my father’s best chum.

 

After the wedding (finished 12:30) we gave a lift to couple girls that my cousin knew. Of course this was early as Saturdays night go. These girls wanted to go to some where they would be able to continue their fun. One girl suggested a Somali Shiisha Bar/club and before words dried from her lips the two other girls went to a harangue against anything that is Somali. They suggested that Somalis are not terribly good at having a good time (other stuff that came out of her mouth I can not write on her). After 5 minutes; they asked us hey chaps where do you think we should go? A Somali club or a mainstream one!. Before answering the question; I asked them to clarify some points in regards to their issue with our people. Truth to be told; the more they tried to explain the clearer it became this self-hating Somali syndrome is actually rife.

 

 

What is the cause? IS this SHS (Self-hating Syndrome) prevalent in our female folk than our male?

[cynical lady]

Sorry this sounds like a somali man on a praw thread that went wrong!

 

 

ps sometimes when ppl say y cant somali ppl have fun etc blah blah that does not mean they hate being somali, just means they hate certain aspects of somaliness and thats a phase some ppl go throw and come out of or some ppl stay there for long time.. but at the end of the day not all gals are like that so i urge not to paint all mali gals with same paint brush.

[-Nomadique-]

It would be a little too much to say that there is a whole culture of self loathing amongst Somalis. The type of people you have described make up a minute number but boy don't they make such an impression lol.

 

I also wouldn't say there was something particularly Somali about this. In my experience it is something that also occurs amongst other minority communities. I have friends that are Iraqi, Afghan, Chinese, Vietnamese etc who have all mentioned coming across people from their own communities with the same attitude you have described.

 

A whole variety of reasons (or experiences) could explain why certain people act this way. For this reason its always best to be as polite as possible. If however you come across any seriously nightmarish cases then take it from me keep well away!

[Jamster]

Cynical you never cease to be deliciously predictable. There was no generalisation that all Somali girls suffer from SHS; I have no idea where you got that from???? perhaps you would like to point which line you derived from your indicment?

 

Somali man on the prawl that whent wrong?? are you suffering from some sort of SHS dear; why the sudden accusations; or shall I just say it is sypical of you?

 

Anyhow, have you come out yourself or you are still there happily deluding yourself whilst you paint us all with the same brush?

[Faheema.]

Just goes to show how pretentious, short-sighted and narcissistic one can be. :rolleyes:

 

And 'am not just talking about the girls in your story.

[Paragon]

Do clarify yourself, young lady . Whatever for should one be narcissistic and pretentious I must enquire!

[Faheema.]

^ lol, dee waa taan garanlaayahay. I guess some people feel they need to be in order to feel accepted/important.

[Paragon]

^Is that so? Accepted into a society circle, I wonder. I shudder at the thought of being among the enlightened throngs of society. I fancy myself as a sailer with the potential of becoming a pirate some day .

 

So that rules out some of us for harbouring impure anti-social thoughts. Shame on us (me actually), indeed. Going agaisnt the grain has its thrill. Really.

[nemo]

What is the cause?

The cause you ask is simple ANY girl/guy who is running away from their people is hiding something I must say. But WHAT is the bigger question??

It’s just that no girl Somali wants to be the talk of the town. E.g. wearing inappropriate cloths, being seen with guys, being in certain places not permitted by Somali society ect.

It is sad that these people are hiding from the Somali community and at the same time fail to realise that Allah can see you wherever you are.

 

IS this SHS (Self-hating Syndrome) prevalent in our female folk than our male?

I think it’s more common on the Somali female folks than the males because it’s always more goosier what a girl does that a guy.

[Ibtisam]

Oh dear, here we go again :rolleyes: I can't believe i read all that, next time can you please use more paragraphs please, Your writing style does remind me of someone? Hmmm

[Jamster]

Ibtisam: waxaad tiriba lagu yiri.

[Ibtisam]

^^^Okay then, did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed dear, i know it is early & monday blues.

[cynical lady]

"I pondered when I catch the bird that I will Insha Allah spend the rest of my time with whether I would have something like this. But the idea of my lady sitting and happily being inspected by all these eyes morally frightens me to the core of my being." If thats not a man on a praw i wounder wht is?

 

And the fact u used sentences such as "my lady being inspected by all these eyes" makes me wana lol but thats a whole different story.

 

 

ps ibti wht happend 2 U?

[Ibtisam]

^^what you mean honey

[cynical lady]

well i thought u were gona come to the Sol awards ceremony?