Mawa Posted January 1, 2008 so many somali girls are going for converts/reverts for marriage these days do you think somali men are lagging behind. some of these girls are practising and they find reverts to be compatible in every way or so it seems. Are we giving up somali men just because they don't live upto our expectations? most of the sucessful or good looking men i came to know are married men so is it not possible that their wives had alot to do with their success. shouldn't we also respect our sisters who choose to go for non somalis I know some people would rather critise and make them look bad but, its their lives and who knows they might be better off with non somalis. what do you think? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaliyyah Posted January 1, 2008 I have seen several Somali girls getting married to reverts. well, lets just say many of those who convert take their religion seriously, and follow it the way it should be. masha allah. That been said, many Somali guys are lacking culture and religion. Perhaps they should work on that aspects of their lives, and I shouldn't be just pointing fingers only at Somali guys. Since, the same applies to many Somali girls. I think it is hard to come by decent people nowadays, both men and women. Anyhow, the most important thing to look in a spouse is faith, that they are religious. Religion is blind to everything else including race.However, there could be some culture gap and that could be overlooked since religion is more important than culture. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Urban Posted January 1, 2008 ^AAliyah I agree that religion should come first before anything else. People have their own criteria when it comes to marriage, and it's a personal choice. If you're just marrying someone for their nationality to avoid criticism, then you're marrying for all the wrong reasons, no matter what you do 'people' will always find somethin to talk about. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
umu zakaria Posted January 1, 2008 If those sisters chose reverts over fellow somalis, it is their choice and we should respect it. I agree with AaliyA and Urban faith is the most important thing to look for. I think this popular believe that all the good, successful men are married among somali woman is not entirely correct. There are equally good, succesful bachelors in the community. A question for the two girls above. If you find a very compatible brother who is married and whose wife (s) is ok with polygamy, would u mind? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaliyyah Posted January 1, 2008 ^^ nin guursaday maalinta hunguri iga galayo ma is nacay walaalay I think I can find a successful bachelor, as I got what it takes. I don't settle for less. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
umu zakaria Posted January 1, 2008 loooool@Aaliyah Good luck. Btw ismaadan nicin, waxaad uun ahaan minyarado, minyarooyinkana aad baa loo jecelyahay. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chimera Posted January 1, 2008 blablabla I really don't give a damn anymore, i hear these stories all the time yet never do i see them outside of the Internet world and Somalis besides Turks/Pakistanis/Brits are the only people i really socialize with so if these generalization were true i would have encountered at least 'one' such case of a Somali muslimah marrying a non Somali muslim brother fact is 'those many'(not even a drop in the Somali ocean) are eloping with non muslims (don't deny this fact) same goes with Somali men.(same situation is happening in the Turkish/Morrocan/Pakistani communities) i saw a green smilie in your post but know this; those going for Ajnabi non muslims are just trophy women and men, satisfying those in need of something 'exotic' and when that 'need' is gone so are they. btw i usually ask the topic starter wether her Father and brothers are 'screw ups'? the reply always is: How dare you!! no my Father and brothers are good men i'm talking about Somali men in general Basically Ma'wa is dissing your fathers and brothers SOL women, are you gonna let her get away with this? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fabregas Posted January 1, 2008 It seems like your saying that there is a shortage of "practising Somali men", and there was me thinking that the alien creatures known as surwaalgaabs, seef la boods, ikhwans and gadeerayaal were taking over Somali society? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
winnie Posted January 1, 2008 i saw a green smilie in your post but know this; those going for Ajnabi non muslims are just trophy women and men , satisfying those in need of something 'exotic' and when that 'need' is gone so are they. [/QB] why do we find it necessary to put sentence on things we dont understand? the halal is better than the haraam, alhamdulillah, but dont assume what a relationship "must be like" because it serves youre ideology. for the most part the main difference between muslims and non muslims will be apparant on the day of judgement, and the validity of non muslim-non muslim vs muslim-non muslim relationships vs muslim-muslim will be settled than as well cause by the looks of it, theyre just about the same. some healthy ones, some dysfunctional ones, some depressing ones and some uplifiting ones. *breathe* sorry, i just wantd to get that out of my chest. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chimera Posted January 1, 2008 Sorry to burst your bubble but the kind of non muslim men and women Somali women and men go after are not husband or wife material that is IMO by default DYSFUNCTIONAL EDIT: Don't bite my head off but i'm speaking from own experiences i have a friend who's been seeing a ajnabi girl since we were 17(we are both 21 now) and he's been struggling in life ever since in terms of education,social life, family etc etc he's smokes weed drinks alcohol(he knew none of this crap before he met her and was doing well in school) compare this to my brothers friend who married a Somali and has totally changed his personal ways(no more streetfights no more smoking stable job etc etc) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skipper Posted January 1, 2008 Quote by Ma´wa: shouldn't we also respect our sisters who choose to go for non somalis I know some people would rather critise and make them look bad but, its their lives and who knows they might be better off with non somalis. what do you think? What i think is that somali men are not lagging behing in any way but that somali girls are expecting too much from a relationship. Watching hollywood movies and indian one have surely had some bad effect on some of you i would assume. Its incredible and hard to swallow thatwhen somali girl marries a non somali her demands is close to zero, no dahaab, no mehr, and she will even send money to her parents and say taht it was from her husband.But the scene changes when the guy is somali, he must pay all the expenses single handedly by his own. I know this somali girl who got marrried to an ethiopians fella who aslo happens to be a christian, she literally told her family if you dont accept this guy then i will marry him no matter what. So if somali girls since coming to Europe have this perception that somali men are non romantic, dont live to expections amoung others then help yourself and marry a nigerian if you like. Ma´wa sorry but why do i get the feeling you are dating a non somali? If you decide to marry him then i wish you happy life, a one where you get to fulfill all your expections that a somali man wouldnt be able to provide. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Al-Muminah Posted January 2, 2008 Salaama alaykum, I've noticed this too sister, and it's due to several reasons. Some of which may include the fact that they want their babies to look beautiful (subhanallah), they want someone who's very serious about their deen, they just want to break through the cultural boundaries that they've been living in their whole lives etc. Just keep in mind that people have different preferences, and have the choice to marry whomever they please as long as they turn out to be good Muslims. It's Qadr Allah (predestination); everything in your life has already been written down for you, so just embrace it. When people start insulting each gender (ie. Somali girls have lost it, Somali guys have no deen) then that's where the problem really is. If a Muslim(ah) is happy with someone from another race, then the least we could do is be happy for them. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
winnie Posted January 2, 2008 Originally posted by Dhulqarnayn -alSumaale: Sorry to burst your bubble but the kind of non muslim men and women Somali women and men go after are not husband or wife material that is IMO by default DYSFUNCTIONAL EDIT: Don't bite my head off but i'm speaking from own experiences i have a friend who's been seeing a ajnabi girl since we were 17(we are both 21 now) and he's been struggling in life ever since in terms of education,social life, family etc etc he's smokes weed drinks alcohol(he knew none of this crap before he met her and was doing well in school) compare this to my brothers friend who married a Somali and has totally changed his personal ways(no more streetfights no more smoking stable job etc etc) ummm, see thats the thing, you cant base your opinion on people through your limited experiences. sure, bad influence can definitely put an individual off track just like good influence can put someone on track like the two situations you just mentionned, but unfortunately not all muslims/somalis are a good influence and some non-muslims follow a better more halal lifestyle than our brothers and sisters. im sorry about your friend, but we have to learn to investigate ourselves before others. why couldnt he have been a positive influence on that girl instead of being sucked into her negative lifestyle? things arent as black and white as wed like them to be. furthermore, how many conversion stories do we know of where one half of a married couple is initially non-muslim and eventually accepts islam? and than there are the couples, im assuming the ones youre speaking of, where islam and da'wah doesnt play a factor at all. i still think they can be happy, unfortunately the pleasures of this life dont always translate in the hereafter and im not going to pretend they are miserable in this life to validate my point of view. btw didnt mean to bite your head, just enjoying the discussion. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
winnie Posted January 2, 2008 Originally posted by Skipper: . I know this somali girl who got marrried to an ethiopians fella who aslo happens to be a christian, she literally told her family if you dont accept this guy then i will marry him no matter what. So if somali girls since coming to Europe have this perception that somali men are non romantic, dont live to expections amoung others then help yourself and marry a nigerian if you like. . [/QB] ummm, do you know of any somalis marrying other somalis who are less than desirable marriage mates? you know like alcoholics, bad temper... i can think of a couple and each time the girl is like "but i love him and you cant stop me" or some variation of that. in somalia there is a city notorious for secret elopements; its called youthful recklessness and/or plain idiocy. theyll pay for it in the long run, cause they usually know beforehand what theyre getting involved with. my point is, women throughout the ages and throughout the world have been settling for losers, deadbeats, and selling themselves short for "love" and romance for a long time, and it has nothing to do with them running away from somali men. in fact its to your (not you personally) deadbeatsomali arms they sometimes run to. people, look at the other side of the coin. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skipper Posted January 2, 2008 Quote by Thugged but cant feel feet: "in fact its to your (not you personally) deadbeatsomali arms they sometimes run to. people, look at the other side of the coin." You calling me a deadbeat somali? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
