Centurion Posted January 1, 2007 I'm curious... How would you, 'modern' Somali women react, if your husband told you one night he planned to marry a second wife? What would you do? Feel free to share your thoughts.. NB Like i said, women only poll please guys. Although i can understand some of you feel tempted, please do refrain. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rudy-Diiriye Posted January 1, 2007 sorry sista, but i dont think its time for this type of stuff! have you read or seen any news lately?? its time to think beyond betty things and open your eyes! Dont u have any blood?? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Centurion Posted January 1, 2007 lol I had suspicions you were a complete and utter twit, and you have proven it beyond doubt. A) i'm male B)I am not about to talk about the situation in Somalia in this section of the forum Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Xalimopatra Posted January 1, 2007 The poll needs more options walaal Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
xax Posted January 1, 2007 Torturing him before you kill him Doing something involving a knife, gloves and cutting… Hunting the other woman down and giving her a home made nip tuck Cleaning his bank account dry before taking off to another country Setting his house on fire Setting him up to go to prison, like you go on holiday to Thailand make sure there is some drugs in his bag! Aaah so many ways to destroy a mans life. But of course this all depends on what the couple agree on before they get married. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Centurion Posted January 1, 2007 lool xax, i was just going to ask Xalimo what else could you possibly do. Something tells me your response is going to be echoed by most or all of the girls. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Som@li Posted January 1, 2007 Maseyr ^^This is what happens when a man goes for second, It must be painful. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aisha Posted January 2, 2007 ......if he's a religous man with good reasons, can afford it and will treat us equally, then why not? It's part of the deen. We can't pick what we like and leave what we don't like. I know it's easier said then done but thats the truth. I will try my hardest to accept it knowing that I will be pleasing Allah. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cynical lady Posted January 2, 2007 hahahah thats all i have to say, i dont understand why a man would want a second wife for in this day & age as if they can treat them equal gosh. ps i think any woman who values herself regardless the kids or financial ramafications should walk away when her husband demands a second wife or sneaks out and marry another woman, and why should u hate the other woman am sorry its the man's fault in those situations. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ms DD Posted January 2, 2007 Salaam Aleykum I second that Aisha. I may not like it but i should very darn well accept it. The best example walked on earth (pbuh) did it, his companions did it, all the previous prophets (as) did it..who am i to think that i am better than all their wives? Life on earth is a test and it isnt all about smooth sailing. It has its ups and downs. Instead of looking of the negative sides, why dont we focus on the positive side? Let me remind you: Automatic childcare in a sexist society gives women more effective choice to have a career without devaluing the role of homemaker. Being able to marry men who are already married means that women can marry men who have already proved themselves, therefore minimising their risk. Having the possibility that a husband can remarry without divorce extends practical security to a woman. She needn't worry about losing her husband and income as she loses her looks, because if her husband is attracted by a younger woman, he doesn't even have to think about leaving his wife. Polygamy removes the pressure on a husband to commit adultery, and removes damaging deceit from a marriage. Polygamy provides a method where a woman can have a female friend for life as well as a husband. Polygamy therefore provides more people and a better chance of meeting diverse needs. Polygamy provides a potential for at least three adult incomes, reducing state dependence and the fear of unemployment. Controls Placed On Men If a man wants to have another sexual partner in a polygamous system then he has to meet his responsibilities - pay for any children produced from all his relationships without priority being given to those from a 'legal' relationship. Polygamy removes or reduces the seduction of innocent young women - If a man promises to marry her, he cannot use his existing marriage as an excuse for not fulfilling a promise. Polygamy reduces the number of women who are available. Currently, with more women than men, this 'cheapens' women. With less women available their 'value' goes up. In other words, polygamy makes men have to try harder and do better with women if they are to win them in competition with other men. (By Samuel Chapman) It should be remembered that polygamy is not a compulsory thing nor is it advocated. It is just a permission with certain limitation and conditions. And in some of the circumstances this permission proves extremely useful. For example: If the wife is chronically ill, or is barren, or for some other reasons it is not desirable for the couple to live as husband and wife. The remedy offered by certain societies is to divorce the wife and remarry. But is this justice? Is it kind or noble to turn out a woman in her old or middle age from her home, just because she remains sick or she happens to be barren? Islam discourages such cruelty by permitting polygamy. for more, please read: http://www.ezsoftech.com/omm/polygamy1.asp Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
xax Posted January 2, 2007 I don’t think polygamy was made for anything elaborate other then to provide a husband for Widows who lost their husbands in Jihad. At the prophets time (SCW) where men were continuously fighting, there became a surplus of widowed women. We don’t have to think hard to realize that life for a widow, especially one who was financially dependent on her husband was extremely tough, (it is hard even in today’s world!) And in that context, polygamy is a good thing, a kind act to help ease the suffering of another woman and kids. This type of polygamy practiced at the time of the prophet (SCW) is very different from the type of polygamy some Somali men follow, where they still think its acceptable to- in effect-cheat on their spouse-i.e.: court another woman, marry her have kids, keep it a secret. So my opinion is, if he wants to marry a widow with kids, whose husband died in a Jihad, then we can talk about it; If he wants to marry a 15 year old teen bride because she’s young and I am (inshallah) old, then that guy needs a bullet between his eyes, or any of the suggestions made in my previous post. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Valenteenah. Posted January 2, 2007 This again? Boring! If a man fancies marrying another woman, or already has, there are only two options open to the woman. To live with it or remove herself from that marriage. Every woman has that choice, regardless of her circumstances. Move on. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted January 2, 2007 ^i second that: one says you have to live with it! Torturing him before you kill him Doing something involving a knife, gloves and cutting… Hunting the other woman down and giving her a home made nip tuck Cleaning his bank account dry before taking off to another country Setting his house on fire Setting him up to go to prison, like you go on holiday to Thailand make sure there is some drugs in his bag! :eek: :eek: Looking at the poll, it is funny that 2women will "send him to his lord" loool. loool :cool: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
juba Posted January 2, 2007 i agree valenteenah...SOLers have a gift of talking a topic to death...then bringing it back to life and saying the same thing...a vicious cycle lol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shakti Posted January 2, 2007 ^ isnt that the name of life.. a big fat vicious cycle.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
