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roobleh

Man farts killing 5 and wounding 15 others!

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roobleh   

MAN FARTS - 5 DIE

 

Dover, MA -

"I think its something to do with his stomach.." was the last thing that 911 dispatcher Carol Quandt heard before the loud explosion that ended her call with a local Dover resident.

 

At 5:15pm half a city block exploded killing 5 people and seriously wounding 15. The explosion was not caused by any gas leak or natural disaster but from a severe rectal build-up.

 

Dennis Edwards, a local PAOD (Phat-Asses-of-Dover) member, and a Dover Elementary PTA member was killed by a self inflicted anal explosion also killing his wife and 2 children, and there pet Dog fluffy. Apparently Dennis was eating refried beans for days, left-overs from his oldest son's high school graduation reception, and had been complaining about sever stomach cramps.

 

His wife Norma called the paramedics at 5:13pm to dispatch an ambulance but it was too late. At 5:15pm Dennis could no longer hold himself and exploded.

 

A memorial service is planned for Thursday night at the Bethony Lutheran Church. Funeral plans have not yet been announced.

 

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roobleh   

The average person produces between 1 and 3 pints of gas each day and passes gas about 14 times a day. That said, you may experience even more gas than usual if u consume large amounts of beans, which contain the complex carbohydrate known as raffinose. The by-products of the digestion of this complex sugar may contain high amounts of hydrogen and methane produced by bacteria normally present in the large intestine, which are compastible and potentially explosive . However, other by-products of digestion such as oxygen, nitrogen, and carbon dioxide are harmless.

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RedSea   

When I was a kid, my mom use to tell the 'skunk' stories and how it uses its fart to gush out the honey from the dun-dun. I was so convinced that fart wasnt capable of such thing outside of disrupting the normal scent, but never thought it could cause death. Layaab weeye!

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