Path less travelled

[SeeKer]

Recently at our local mosque we had a student convert to Islam. I wasn’t there for the special occasion but I knew the fellow who converted. He was my roommate’s friend and had come over a few times to the apartment. I thought he was unique first time I met him because he was taking an Arabic class and actually was interested to the point he asked me for my Arabic cds. Looking at the dude he was a typical Midwest white dude; a$$ crack showing when he bent over with a loud bellowing voice. One day while I was walking back to my apartment I found him sitting in the lobby with a book between his hands. On closer inspection the book he held so delicately was the Holy Quran with translation. I pretended not to notice and said hi. He was polite and said he was waiting for one of us to come home so he could chill with us. So I asked him in and popped in a DVD for him to watch while I went about fixing myself some lunch. I casually quizzed him about his Arabic lessons and his major, which was philosophy. Aha! I thought I finally found a crack to sneak through.

 

Then I asked him what religion classes he took for his Phil. major. He was forthright with information almost eager to talk about religion. We talked about jews and Christians and off course Islam. I again asked if he was taking any religion classes at the moment and he replied in the negative. Weird…………why would he be reading the Quran if he had no reason to :confused: He asked me about my background and I told him about my family and religion and off course my liberal views. We slowly moved to the difference about religions and he brought up things. I answered them to the best of my knowledge and we built a rapport because I told him I had those questions a few years back and I took philosophy class to understand and learn about other religions. The outcome turned out that I instead learnt more about my own religion and became more grounded in my faith. Now I am happy with wearing my hijab, come to terms with polygamy within reason, adultery, marriage et al. He came back the next week and this time he asked about prayers and fasting. We covered that topic and since it was Friday I asked him if he wants a practical lesson and I got ready for Jumaa prayers and drove both of us to the mosque. Off course I wasn’t sure how this would go over with the men in the mosque because I am the only female coming to the mosque most of the time but I felt if someone wanted to gain knowledge no one should stand in their way. So I asked a brother who opened the sister’s section for me to let my friend sit and watch the Jumaa prayers. After prayers I didn’t see him so I worried that something must have happened to him but I had classes to attend to. I didn’t hear from him for a couple weeks and I was for sure he probably was over his curiosity phase.

 

 

Imagine my surprise when I walked into one of the imam’s house to visit and I saw him sitting on the couch. I just say hi and make some small talk while I watched him and the imam talk and eat lunch. Nawaal, the imam’s wife, apologizes for the male presence but I assure her its no problem. Later they both leave and Nawaal lets me know that John has decided to take the Shahada. She is excited and asked me what I thought. I told her I thought it was a joyous occasion in this small hick town to have a convert but I also questioned his intention for being a muslim. When the imam came home later I was still there so his wife brought up my question and he said I shouldn’t question a person’s intention for conversion because they are the only ones who know how true their intention is.

 

 

I know it was a long tale but my reason behind it is to lay the foundation for how a person got to the point of conversion. As Muslims who were born into Islam we were not met with a lot of obstacles at the beginning of our faith. At most we accepted everything we were told. You could call it luck or blind faith depending on how you view it but I choose to call it blind faith. Converts have the hardest journey. They move from a comfort zone to an alien land at the cost of being an outcast. This to me is an envious thing. They learn the religion from a perspective that most of us cannot achieve. Most of converts are better Muslims than Muslims who are born into Islam. Muslims these days try so hard to integrate western values in their life that they lost their path. On the other hand we also have converts who have shed the western philosophies they were brought up in for a better life. They don’t try to be Arab-like but in reality most of them end up being more Pakistani/African like. They are also usually met with criticism from their social circle but to pour salt over a wound, fellow Muslims tell them they are pretending or worse that they are in love with the novelty and not the faith. I am just wondering what actually makes one a convert and how far will they stick it out? What resources as Muslims can we provide? How can we change the way we view converts in regards with them trying to assimilate into Islam by picking up the dressing habits/language/uttering Allah’s praises in every other sentences?

[Dhagax-Tuur]

interesting read...though i can't answer your questions, relevant, though.

[hodman]

I am just wondering what actually makes one a convert and how far will they stick it out? What resources as Muslims can we provide? How can we change the way we view converts in regards with them trying to assimilate into Islam by picking up the dressing habits/language/uttering Allah’s praises in every other sentences?

Alhamdullilah that this guy became a muslim.

First let's start out by using the right term which is revert as opposed to "convert", because we learn that each child is born into the fitrah of Islam and only grow up into other religions that their parents practise or which they later choose.

Regarding your questions about what makes a person a convert/revert my best answer to that would be that it is the will of Allah and that nothing happens that is not predestined.Allah guides to his light whomever he wills.As to how far they will stick it out, for most people it is not a phase that they are going through but rather a deep attachment that they have developed to our beautiful religion and hopefully it will last them the rest of their lives.

We can change how we view them by appreciating the simple concept that we have no more rights than them since we were born into the religion.It is not "ours" in a sense that we make them strangers.Like you mentioned they more often than not end up being better muslims than most of us who take the Deen for granted.

The best way to help these people is to help them educate themselves about Islam and make them feel welcome into the Islamic brotherhood.If they feel that they gained a family maybe they won't be so lost without their families that might be isolating them.Seeker you and your roommate must have done something right in making him appreciate Islam so you guys should build on that.Being friends with him will help him learn from you and you could answer his questions better than anyone else.

[SeeKer]

^^^ Thanks for the compliment and advice. I don't think I had much to do with it nor do I think I can provide much information but at least I can alley his issues with some things most of the time I tell him I will look into it. He came by the monday after the Jumaa he took the shahada and spent the whole time talking to me about Islam. I was being nosey about how stuff was working out. I promised to get him a kofiya he said he liked the old swahili ones..........si zile za unzi.

 

My roomate is not a muslim but she fasted with me during Ramadhan. Don't ask why she says she was being supportive. I just wish there was more I could do for him since I feel for him. He told me his grandma is a staunch Christian and Republican and he has yet to tell her about it. Wonder how that will go

[hodman]

Why would I assume ur roomamate was a muslim? Long winter day!!

Anyway I think you should give yourself credit for all that you did to answer his questions and I believe it is a learning opprtunity for you too when he asks about something and you find out for him.

Did he try reading about it?maybe online and the books that he might find?

I hope all goes well with his grandma and I hope that she does not dampen his spirit.Maybe you could connect him to local brothers who might support him.

Usisahau kumpelekea hiyo kofia coz giving gifts is a way of softening a person's heart and most masjids do that for reverts.

[bilan]

maasha_Allah, it is always good news to hear someone found the right path, well what makes someone revert,i think it is because Allah guides them, and also some people question their religion and when it does not make sense they try to find one that does. only ignorants will doubt their intentions,because this religion is for human kind,so no one has the right to question them and let's remember campanions of the prophet were reverts who left their family, friends and country behind,and this religion spread because of them,so in that sense they can relate to them better than us. i think the reason most reverts are better muslims than those of us who are born as muslims are:they do not mix culture with religion,they chose this religion so they had the opportunity to question everything,i believe we do not get that chance,if you ask question some people will accuse you of being disbeliever.

i think the best way to help him is to give him books that are written by reliable writters, i believe you already helped him,by discussing with him.

[Muhammad]

 

when a person embraces Islam no matter their age, we must be very gentle to them, nurture them spiritually, emotionally, intellectually financially and so on. we have to aproach them like a new born.

 

I think fiting in is sometimes the most difficult part for them, so I would advice that we should find them a pious Muslim of the same gender who comes from their background to mentor them. It helps.

[xiinfaniin]

^Yes it indeed does. Ishaad ka ridday,Muhammad, finding a good mentor is the way to go.

[SeeKer]

^^^ Guess it takes me out of the running.