Isseh’s guide: Etiquettes of the fine Somali gentleman

[Paragon]

First, dear gentlemen and wannabes , do compose the self within your hearts in regal manner, and give it an air of superiority and sense of good breeding.

 

Second, put thy self in a cool state of mind. Do not make the mistake of reading what I write herein with a sense of alarm and disbelief! Be calm and treat that which I propose herein with a casual disposition and, even, if need be, with some indifference, for that is the attribute of the Somali gentleman’s confidence in being able to fathom and comprehend all things reasonably .

 

Thirdly, assure your hands have a grip on your inked pens, and paper is readily spread squarely, for I hope to tutor you on your journey of becoming the refined man in the desired gentleman. Now, that out of our way, let us proceed to the important guidance that begs our combined attention, shall we?

 

To set the stage for this exercise, if I may, let me put to each and every one of you this simple question: scrutinizing each and all your attributes and etiquettes, do you deem thyself to be of nature and behaviour that symbolic of a considered and thoughtful treatment of your fellow men (and women, if must include)? Maybe you deem thyself to be of good behaviour, or maybe not. That should not concern us now as we shall be going over the ‘do’s’ and ‘don’ts’ of the refined Somali man.

 

Things you mustn’t do in all circumstances in speech and its delivery

 

1 - The prime tool of humanly communication is speech (or beautified language), whether spoken or written, and as such, a gentleman must always do justice to language. Love it and don’t loathe it. Speak it but don’t shout it. Treat speech with tenderness, and allow it through your lips in honeyed tones. Do not mislead speech and exhaust it by sending it to close distances with an unnecessary thrust. Rather measure the accurate distance between your tongue’s laboured word and the humble ear that receiveth it . If the receiver is near, converse gently, but if he/she is afar, walk to him/her and then speak gently. So, do not shout needlessly, and burden the air around with the secrets of (your supposedly private – yet publicized) conversations.

 

2 – On seeking the attention of someone you wish to speak with; avoid yelling and whistling across the street. As a human, you are blessed with mobility, so use this readily available function and walk to your attention’s target. Remember, always, that the streets, roads or buses, carry sovereign sets of ears that find, less moderated and ill-exercised verbal controls, altogether bothersome, and may in some cases, answer rude verbal expressions with physical expressions that you are best spared from.

 

3 – On holding remote private communications with your relations and acquaintances through portable devices, if you must, you should always steer clear of others’ presence. If it happens that you are with a circle of friends or colleagues, it is always rude to keep them hanging while you converse remotely. If you can make your excuses successfully, do so and find a secluded place to carry on your remote conversation. However, if you sense your excuse has not been granted in good heart, be a gentleman enough to inconvenience the remote caller and arrange with him/her a suitable time to speak. Bear in mind that emergency calls are by default excused . After all is said and done, if you insist on remaining in the presence of others while in call, atleast have the decency not to make clear the contents of your romantic. A point you should always remind thyself of is this: it is a universal rule that a call time with a lady is at all times remains private, and her honour must be protected by not divulging a single sentence of her secrets. Revealing ladies’ secrets is distastefully ungentlemanly.

 

Here ends our first tutorial on the protocols of moderated and gentlemanly speech…

 

Next lesson on its way, but in the meantime, revise thyself and determine whether the above points affect your otherwise good behaviour.

[Zafir]

Your guide contradicts the privileges bestowed on manly man, this fine gentleman business sounds fishy to a manly man's ear.

[Faarax-Brawn]

 

Lol,This looks like a tutorial on how to be an uptight snob. Gentleman maashe?

 

Thanks a lot,Laakin anu uma baahni..Nice interesting read tho,the younglings,the Khalafs,the Che's,the Zafirs,the Marc Smifs(smuff?) & the confused discombobulated lot(I.E, all TFG sympathisers)could surely use this guide.

[Aaliyyah]

^typical Somalis.

 

The brother is trying to upgrade you. Be kind enough to say thank you

[chubacka]

^haha

 

how was the shia gathering?

[Aaliyyah]

^^Actually, I haven't went. I woke up with a cold and a headache. I called her and apologized.

 

I feel so guilty!!!even though it is at 7:pm, I can still go if I get better. But, my mom told me to stay in since I am sick...you know am mom's lil girl. As we speak she is making for me "maraq"

[chubacka]

^ I haven't went?!

[Aaliyyah]

^^^I wanted to go actually. But, God has his own plans. Maybe, it is haraam to attend.

[chubacka]

yer mayb it was better for you if you dnt attend.

 

Time is dragging...wot tym is it in T dot?

[Aaliyyah]

It is only 11:20 am now

[chubacka]

:eek: makes me feel tired thinking about it...

 

Anyhow its bout half four here, time for iftar!

 

Isseh, apologies for interrupting your lesson!

 

Seeya A, enjoy ur Friday!

[Aaliyyah]

yeh am sorry Isseh as well, obviously we went off topic

 

enjoy your Iftar Chubacka

[Faarax-Brawn]

Originally posted by AAliyah416:

^typical Somalis.

 

The brother is trying to upgrade you. Be kind enough to say thank you

LOL,i cant help it.

[Faheema.]

^ He wants Beyonce to upgrade him instead

[Faarax-Brawn]

Originally posted by *Faheema:

^ He wants Beyonce to upgrade him instead

Ma aragtay? Maxaan ku falaya Isseh iyo foolxumadisa(and his qurafad)?