When Is The Best Time To Have Another?

[Kool_Kat]

Since I had my daughter, who is only a year and four months now, almost everyone I know has been saying I should have another child...ARE THEY MAD (well istaqfurulah)...

 

The way I see it, I still need time with my daughter...Emotionally, econmically, and physically, I am not ready yet...I think once she is more independent (like three or three and half years old), it will be better (God Willing)...That way we (mom and dad) had plenty of time with her; and she can be more involved with her future brother/sister's life (ie. getting the diapers or the lotion for mom, helping with feeding the baby)....

 

I know there is no right or wrong answer, but is it best to have children right after the other, so they can play together and you (mom and dad) can get all your child rearing done at one time; or is it best ot put some time in between the kids?

[Pujah]

I think it's best to have your kids back to back so they can play with each other, be each others confidente, go to the same school and have the same or similar friends.

 

That is not to say have 5 kids in 5 years but generally two kids right after each other than a long break and if you decide you need more have another two

[-Lily-]

I think it's best to have your kids back to back

LoooL, meesha dukaan nac nac miya P? As if it was that easy.

 

KK, I have no idea, whatever works best for the parents I think and whatever Allah decides. I would consider career, and age considerably. I mean if I was 30 by the time I had my first child, you can forget having 'breaks' as people call it . You would want to be fit enough to chase your kids and still able to walk without a stick on their graduation.

 

I think 2 yrs is healthy & close enough to be close. I had a blast growing up with my sisters, I feel sorry for our youngest, the one that almost didn't happen, even though we try our best, everyone is too old and too busy for him. He reads a lot

[Abyan]

To quote my lovely cousin, "halmar dhiiqada si fiican u gal" "If you are gonna wake up in the morning to feed and cloth, you might as well feed five mouths "

[Aaliyyah]

^^^lol@ halmar dhiiqada si fiican u gal..

 

 

I think it is good to have kids who are close in age, so like have two or three kids who are a year apart, that way they will play and keep each other company.

 

Three or four years would be enough, if you choose to have more kids.

 

Wa salaamu alaikum

[Cara.]

Depends on how fast you can forget the excruciating agony of the first one.

 

I heard that a woman's brain actually shrinks during pregnancy*. This explains a lot.

 

*It does eventually bounce back.

[Jacaylbaro]

The first child needs another one to play with ,,, so hurry up

 

 

then you can give a space to the rest and the best way is to have a child every 3 years ,,, 2 years breasfeeding and one year caqli

[Warrior of Light]

Originally posted by Jacaylbaro:

 

 

then you can give a space to the rest and the best way is to have a child every 3 years

I second JBs response which is Islamically correct, enough time for the mother to regain her strength and dedicate time for her older sibling's needs and development.

 

The back on back affects more the mother, she will need to take good care of her herself and take healthy food. long standing untreated Anemia is one of the consequencies, chronic exhaustion. The young one doesnt have enough time to bond with his mother and then mother is busy with the new pregnancy. The arabs(In hadiths) compare the child with being thrown of a horse.

[Malika]

^^^I agree with sister WOL,having kids back to back can have not only be physically challenging to the mother but also psychologically...

 

I have seen too many cases in our community of post natal depression..imagine your awake half the night looking after the little baby,then in the morning you got to deal with the toddler,whom is in their right age for exploring..unless you have a good network support that will help you, its hard work

 

2-3 year gap is good,the older child has had some time with you and is near the age of going to nursery,is potty trained,sleeps through the night etc.And also it will be the right time for the older child to go to nursery or playgroup which gives you opportunity to bond with the new baby..

[umu zakaria]

u have been thru 9 vigorous months and bfed ur baby. she has a wright to be bfed until she is 2yrs. Prophet Mohamed SAW son Ibrahîm had a wet-nurse as occurs in a hadîth and when his son passed away he was only 1 year and 10 months old so there were two months of suckling left for him so the Prophet sallallâhu alaihi wa sallam said as narrated by Al-Bara (bin Azib): The Prophet, after the death of his son Ibrahîm, said, " There is a wet-nurse for him (i.e. Ibrahîm) in Paradise."[6]

 

 

sis unless u and ur husband want to have sooner i suggest wait til 2 yrs by then u have also rested and regained ur strenghts insha Allaah. whichever way may Allaah make all easy and possible for u.

[Blessed]

LOL Kool Kat,

 

I used to get that all the time when I was in Muscat. This lady used to joke... waa inaad bariiskaaga u shaqeysatid, sanad walba mid soo tuur. Loool. My baby wasn't even one.

 

As for the topic, I can see the benefits of having one after the other, laakin for me , I'm with JB, WOL and Munira. A three year gap is good for both kids. Unless, you want a football squad and then you'll have to narrow it down a bit, otherwise you'll always be on walac, umul mode...

[Kool_Kat]

^^^LOL @Football squad...

 

Ilaa iyo hada waxaan kasoo kabsanla'ahay walacii i haayay ilaa aan lix bilood soogaaray...OMG, the morning sickness was dreadful, to say the least...But Alhamdulilaah...

[Crystal_Clear]

******sheego cusub*

 

munira korma waaye arooskada? iyo meeqa malxees ? and how does your dress look like , iyo,, who will sing at your wedding. am i invited? is "jacaylbro" invited, how about the rest of SOL,,are they invited?plz dont invite that jude,rude kid,(wateva his name is) ,anyways i already have a dress picked out...when will i get the invitation, should i bring some rice along, who is this guy you are marrying...is he cute, what kind of job does he have..honestly how much did you spend on your wedding ...sorry i just like to invade in people'a privacy ...am listening

[Aaliyyah]

^^^crystal clear lol u are a joker walahi...

[- Femme -]

Kool Kat you might as well have all ur grey hairs at once.