Ms DD Posted August 17, 2006 Salaam Aleykum Remembering my old folks and their parents, I dont recall them being romantic after certain years of marriage. My idea of romance is: Having weekends away, suprise gifts, going out for dinner et al. Is this what we have to look forward to when we get older or have we become too westernised? Having been married for 5 yrs myself, it is like no one has time for all the above anymore. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gabar fiican Posted August 17, 2006 You got that right once kids come on the way there is no going out romance. :eek: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RendezVous Posted August 17, 2006 Hey Cambaro, I think everyone defines romance in a different way...A case in example.. I see my big brother married for close to 15 years who is really happy with his wife who is 5 years younger..than him I meet them happy, laughing together, eating our together, driving to pray in various mosques together..sometime driving to a very off picnics with their kids..Maybe even for safaris..sometime on weekends..They travel to the desert wadi safaris..even spend there.. The happy couple stay very close together..help each other..run business together, By the way, his wife is outgoing and very freindly..She is the one holding the family just together..She loves our family..we love her family..You will think, the couple is just in "Romance" They even leave to spend together while their kids are with us having fun in the beach..and elsewhere so what is your definition of "Romance"? anyway are you talking of "love"..???? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Che -Guevara Posted August 17, 2006 Having weekends away, suprise gifts, going out for dinner et al. Dat do sound something white chick would expect, but it is fine if dat's indeed what you do consider romantic. Just make sure your hubby is on the same wavelenght. As for romance in general, considering each other's needs and not taking your espouse for granted despite your daily family hassle would definately keep dat aspect of one's relationship alive. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RedSea Posted August 18, 2006 Dear Cambaro, I think it shouldn't, unless people take it away from it. It seems to me that marriage is given a bad wrap by the people. Marriage is seen as dark hole, once you go into it, you are doomed of all the fun that you used to have, I see marriage differently although I am not married as of yet. When it comes to marriage who else is to be take example from other than our beloved Prophet, Muhammed (SCW), he would shower with his wife Aisha sometimes,yes shower with her and splash water like small children, he would challenge her to a race, the record was 1 loss and 1 win for the Prophet, the loss came later when he aged. So you see marriage should be fun, although there are some ups and downs,but then so is everything else in this world. there is nothing that is perfect in any case senerio, so the bottomline is, people, both men and women (especially Somalis)should be given a course of how to manage their relationship both short and long term, cuz it seems most people don't know what to do when hard days hit home,other than offcourse to seprate,this seems their solution.Hence we have very high divorce rate, because the teachings of Islam arent' followed properly. thanks. assalamu calaykum. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ms DD Posted August 18, 2006 Assalaamu aleykum That is very nice story RendezVous. Most men and women have an idea how to be romantic but life gets the better of them. It is nice to not to be taken for granted and in tune with each other. We should take lessons from our beloved prophet (saw)'s life. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RendezVous Posted August 18, 2006 The topic of marriage is BIG and important. Marriage has more advantages than disadvantages and hence Islam gives it more "relevance"..It urges it's youth to make marriages.. I think couples should believe in Allah s.w and strive to work hard judging someone by small mistakes here and there will never help..There is an issue that deals with sabar(perseverence).. Men should atleast make sure that their women are HAPPY and satisfied..You should never work to break a family.. Furthermore, if you don't wanna marry, you would have stayed away.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aaliyyah Posted August 19, 2006 Asalaaamu alaikum u all Marriage should be build on love, co-operation, and being with one another regardless of what the situation might be, no matter how stimulating, no matter how painful. That is what I call a true love From my perspective, I don’t think romance should fade away after marriage. Kids should not come between two people, it is totally wrong for couple to just go apart once they have kids. Since having kids indicates more blessing. Basically having kids gives the marriage a whole new meaning. In a sense their love should strength not weaken? :mad: In most Somali families you wouldn’t see the couple being romantic (specially I am referring to those in our parents age group), however I think the reason is that their marriage is in most cases arranged marriage, and that they were not in love with one another initially. Other than the obvious reason of only co-oping with one another for the sake of their children :rolleyes: . That might not be the reason in most cases, there is also other explanations. For instance, it could be the fact that the parents are so busy making their living, like both parents holding full time jobs, and every day coming home exhausted as it happens with many Somali families. Since life is really expensive, both parents are forced to work and support one another financially right. Last but not least, love starts a relationship, grows after marriage and comes to its fullest when kids are added to the family Until next time Wa salaaam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rahima Posted August 20, 2006 It shouldn't exist to begin with. Marriage is for procreation only, not useless nonsense like romance. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Som@li Posted August 20, 2006 After having one real good meal ,and enjoying it at first time,does it taste the same after a while? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Valenteenah. Posted August 20, 2006 ^^ I assume it would if you are hungry enough. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Faarax-Brawn Posted August 21, 2006 Originally posted by Dabshid: After having one real good meal ,and enjoying it at first time,does it taste the same after a while? How awhile awhile are you talking about? Is 2hrs a reasonable time off? Anywhoo,only the weak & frail(of love,of imaan) get bored with love. If you are strong & rich(again with love,with imaan),then romance,love & respect for your spouse,should not have a time frame. Today,mashalah i saw this older somali couple walking around the park. They were full of love :cool: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nephissa Posted August 21, 2006 ^hmmm thats awsome! I hope thats how I'll be.. old, wrinkly and still madly deeply in love in my 60's. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Faarax-Brawn Posted August 21, 2006 Originally posted by Tyjwania: ^hmmm thats awsome! I hope thats how I'll be.. old, wrinkly and still madly deeply in love in my 60's. Unless you get botox iyo lacag xisaab galeynin,your replacement will be a DHAYLO,xoxoxo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Legend of Zu Posted August 21, 2006 Add that to...Dhaylo with every curve and No Upstairs! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
