Sentence rewrites

[Bambina]

Salam Alaykum,I thought we'd play a game, you have to rewrite each paragraph to contain no more than 21 words and of course , you have to make sure that your sentences make sense.

 

1)Vince Bevan,the chief of police for the Ottawa Police department , told a national conference on gun control and crime prevention being held at the Congress Centre in Ottawa yesterday that people who own guns are more likely to shoot themselves or members of their own families than they are likely to shoot a prowler.(55 words)

 

 

2)Russia has the world's highest rate of imprisonment with 558 people incarcerated for every 100,000 people of its population when compared to the United States which imprisons people at a lower rate - 519 people incarcerated for every 100,000 people of its population- but the States has 1.3 million inmates which is more than any other country in the world.(59 words)

 

 

3)A strong earthquake with a magnitude of 6.0 on the Richer scale and centred approximately 16 kilometres southeast of Lake Tahoe shook parts of northern California and west Nevada at 5:23 a.m yesterday morning but there were no reports of injuries to individuals and only minimal damage to buildings and structure was reported.(53 words)

 

 

4)A Bank Street convenience store was robbed of $117 at dinner time last night by an elderly woman who said she needed the money to buy food and clothes for the three grandchildren she has had custody of since their parents were killed in a tragic car accident less than a year ago.(53 words)

 

 

5)Hundreds of unhappy and disgruntled students- displeased with Algonquin College's new dress code that prohibits the wearing of blue jeans to class-stripped off their pants and staged an impromptu parade in their underwear up and down Woodroffe Avenue during noon hour yesterday ,which caused major traffic tie-ups especially for the dozens of OC Transpo buses that use the Baseline OC Transpo Station as a major commuting centre.(68 words)

 

 

Let's see in this forum who's the best to rewrites these paragraphs,lol.

[stpaulchick]

:confused: :confused:

[rudy-Diiriye]

a 6.0 come on! its gotta be 9.0 and higher for me to worry! last big one i went through was 8.0 and i was upset that it woke me up from sleep!!!

[Miskiin-Macruuf-Aqiyaar]

Salaan...

 

I hope you aren't tricking us to do your homework.

 

Let me see.

 

1.) Vince Bevan, Ottawa's Police Chief, told a gun control conference that gun-owners are more likely to shoot themselves than others. {20 words}

 

2) Russia incarcerates 39 more people than United States every year. However, U.S. has 1.3 million prisoners, largest in the world. {20 words}

 

3) A strong earthquake on Southeast Lake Tahoe shook Northern California and West Nevada early yesterday morning. No heavy casualties were reported. {21 words}

 

4) A convenience store at Bank Street was robbed last night by an elderly woman; reasoning to feed her starving parentless grandchildren. {21 words}

 

5) Hundreds of disgruntled students, protesting against a new dress code by school, undressed at Woodroffe Avenue, causing a heavy traffic line-ups. {21 words}

 

Jaaw.

[Macalin]

Hundreds of unhappy and disgruntled students- displeased with Algonquin College's new dress code that prohibits the wearing of blue jeans to class-stripped off their pants and staged an impromptu parade in their underwear up and down Woodroffe Avenue during noon hour yesterday ,which caused major traffic tie-ups especially for the dozens of OC Transpo buses that use the Baseline OC Transpo Station as a major commuting centre.(68 words)

.....

 

algonquein students,Displeased with a new dresscode, protested and stripped to their pants along woodroof ave causing traffic backUP for commuters.(21)

[stpaulchick]

I would do this but...it seems like an assignment that was sent to u.

And secondly it doesn't sound like a game.

[Bambina]

Salam,

Miskiin and St Paul chick lol wat u guyz got against me ? Just jokin , I wouldnt waste ur time for dat , dis aint an assignment,I didnt have any topic ,so I thought I just put that.Im forcing nobody to answer though.

[Grad Student]

Convenience store at Bank Street robbed by a senior citizen who claimed to have done to buy grandkids' food and clothes.