A voyage through the Somali political wilderness

[NGONGE]

^^ I sadly can not comment on that for now. Give me three months.

[Paragon]

^At least you have the approval of your political guru .

 

Oodweyne, you are looking very far ahead adeer; many others aren't.

[STOIC]

Ngonge,

The rosy optimism of Somali politics has waned long time ago, of course not surprisingly! There is nothing, but one thing to say to Somalis “Y’all have been up against the wall for so long , MF, get out of the stick up” ! I doubt if Somali politics deserves a demanding or a creative story as your story above, so give us some good creative stories about something other than Somali politics. And by the way I have seen your screen name on one of the Somali websites, congrat! Just don’t waste your time on uncontrollable centrifugal force that is reaping Somalia apart!

[Kashafa]

NG,

 

I agree with your overall point. I just think you made a mistake lumping the Dhalinyaro/Resistance together with the rest of the 'vaunted groups'.

 

Another caveat: I don't think the Resistance has all the answers for Somalia nor is it free from crucial errors and miscalculations(Airport fiasco and church demolishment stand out. WTH were they thinking?) What it does have, however, uniquely exclusive, is the short-term answer: Expelling the Ethiopians, Destroying the rampant Qabiil machine(like they did so admirably in Kismayo), and eliminating all of the civil-war figures, reigon by reigon. Which is why I say we are in a new, infant yet decisive, age of Somali history, political or otherwise.

 

I am sure that the rest of Somali-dom will come around to that conclusion as city after city, town after town, falls to the Sons of Somalia. Reality has a intrusive way of slapping the shit out of folks. Duke Gebreselassie and Koora Aw-Dhabdhlif won't be harping on dawladnimo and fowr-bointi-fife when the Dhalinyaro flag is firmly planted in the city center of Garowe and Las Caanood.

[Sir-Qalbi-Adeyg]

^ Al shabab will never set foot in garowe and puntland, I will guarantee you that.

 

No civilized and rational person supports al shabab lunatics, most somali youth are very much anti-shabab just as I am and these lunatics have no progressive answers for somalia's problems.

 

With that said, I always said somali politics is a riddle wrapped in an enigma, and there no good guys in somalia. The only thing one can do, is take things and events one day at a time without letting emotions get the better of us.

[Kamaavi]

I notice that I have not posted in this thread. I don't have time to read it. Just want to post so you people don't miss the new NGONGE aka JSOJSE to badly.

 

Later.

Jeesto.

[Kashafa]

Protocol,

 

Athiga weli waxay kaa taagantahay Puntland iyo caqli-amxaar. Abti, 2008 aa lagu jiraa. Boor-ka iska jaf, bac-da iska fur, inta aa Boontilaan wiswaas'keeda sida Quraan camal uu aqrinaysid, failure, bitterness, and disaster aa kuu sugnaatay.

 

You don't have to believe me. Waxaa waraysataaa Col. Af-Gaduud where Puntland'nimo ii gaysay.

[dhulQarnayn]

NGONGE:

Our valiant warriors defeated the tyrant's army. We were going to claim our land and dignity back. We were going to return our country to its former glory with peace, equality and justice.

 

 

But then our leaders had a squabble and each group broke down into several different militias. Come to think of it now, we were not really that united to start with. Now the militias broke into even more fragments. The age of the warlord was here! But those in the far north decided to cut loose and declare their own state. How treacherous.

 

There were at least five warring groups that kept on multiplying and now we did not know how many groups were there. They divided the loot amongst themselves and ruled their areas with iron fists. Some of the players from the olden days were still there but were fading rapidly. Despite the carnage and confusion in the entire country, the most noise was emanating from the capital. Warlords sprang out like wild mushrooms. They had the funniest names and all swore their undying love for the dying country.

 

The world tried to intervene but was repelled and sent packing with the added insult of corpses being dragged around the streets. A new entity was established further north. Unlike the one before it, this one swore it is still part of the original land and was only here to keep the peaceful parts in trust until the motherland was back on its feet.

 

The snowball of madness kept on rolling and getting bigger and bigger by the day. Like Penelope's suitors, the warlords were stripping the country from all that was good. An Islamic group appeared in the new entity and tried to establish its power. It was defeated by our very own odysseus. People thought him an average warlord and never paid him the respect his political astuteness deserved. Meanwhile, the various reconciliatory meetings continued in far off lands. A president was elected! Salvation was finally here. Some warlords rejected him and others merely paid him lip service. The snowball kept on rolling.

 

Neighbouring countries and others with a stake in the final outcome kept on interfering. The land of a million madmen produced yet more warlords. Odysseus sent his troops to a dusty town and challenged the secessionists. They huffed, they puffed but they let things be.

 

The reconciliation meetings carried on. The neighbouring countries continued their interference. Lots were drawn, lotteries were arranged and Odysseus came out on top. A new president was elected! Salvation was finally here.

 

He picked a young, intelligent, neutral, untainted by the blood of millions Prime Minster. People danced in the streets. Warlords hugged warlords. The secessionists stuck two fingers up at all and sulked in their corner. They were ignored by all.

 

Odysseus was going to fix this broken glass. He gave the warlords ministerial jobs. He instituted a parliament in exile. But the acid test was all about setting foot in the great old Villa. Could he ever do it?

 

His new group of minsters suddenly had new foes. A group of Mullahs that were previously ignored and dismissed as men of god suddenly became men of war. There were mutterings about the CIA and terrorist groups. The warlords took a gamble and lost. The Mullahs became the Islamic Courts Union!

 

Drunk with the joy of power and supremacy, they challenged Odysseus! Several reconciliation meetings failed. The Mullahs had god in their side and were not going to give up power. They boasted of their strength. They boasted of their numbers. They claimed the whole nation was on their side. But, more importantly, they bragged about god (again) being on their side. They overextended themselves and challenged a powerful neighbour. They made claims and questioned counter claims. Things came to a boil; the neighbour was given a chance to physically interfere. Odysseus won. The Mullahs were no more. He entered the sacred Villa. Salvation was finally here.

 

The situation became very stale. Unlike in the past, this time the fighting had only two sides. On one hand there were the defeated Mullahs and their fans and on the other there was Odysseus and his neighbouring supporters. You were either with them or against them. But the land of the million mad men does not do two sides.

 

The leaders of the Mullahs went to the enemies of the invading neighbour and sipped Ethiopian coffee as they dreamed of a way out of their predicament. The old warlords were split between the two sides. The plot thickened.

 

Then a hero came along with a caravan to jump on and we cast our fears aside and we knew we could survive. But he had no control over the resistance. A new group appeared out of nowhere with the aim to liberate the country from the dirty clutches of the infidel invader. They could not use the Islamic excuse alone this time. They had to have a better selling point. They called themselves the young ones.

 

The young ones, darling we're the young ones. And young ones shouldn't be afraid, so the song goes. They fought, they bombed and the harassed the enemy. They burned; accidently killed innocents and they recruited. They were young, they were full of life and they were not afraid. The Americans woke up from their slumber and sent a few random bombs. Some of the leaders of the young ones (who in actual fact were older than pharaoh himself) were killed. But the young ones were never afraid.

 

Meanwhile, the hero and his companions finished their coffee and decided to end this ridicules charade. After countless loss of life, after endless threats and disagreements and after foolish decisions, they finally realised the only way to fix the dying country was to sit with Odysseus and thrash out a deal! Political genius at its best.

 

The young ones and their ancient leaders rejected such abject surrender and vowed to go it alone. Amongst all this drama Odysseus found himself cornered, lost and confused. He had already sacked his young, intelligent, neutral and untainted by the blood of millions Prime Minster. For he (the Prime Minster) was said to be old, foolish, partisan and a corrupt man who was responsible for the deaths of thousands. A white knight in shining armour was chosen as Prime Minster. He too was said to be a good man, a neutral man untainted by the blood of millions. Salvation was finally here.

 

But the young ones would not let it be. They declared everyone who was not on their side as persona non grata. They were going to liberate the land and resurrect the long awaited Islamic nation. They were young, full of impossible dreams and the energy to realise these dreams. They spread around the country like wild fire and started to win back towns one by one.

 

 

Odysseus stood and watched silently. Could he have given up or has he got another Trojan horse up his sleeve? The prize is slipping away from him. He stands to lose the sacred villa, but, more importantly, he stands to lose fair Penelope. What will his next move be? His foes are gaining strength by the day and are even recruiting fighters from far off lands. As a demonstration of their newfound strength it is said they were behind the attacks on the secessionist north. Who, by the way, and we only mention it here to display the waning power of Odysseus and his fans, have finally reclaimed that dusty town they lost all those months ago. However, it is not all song and dance for that entity either. They got bombed. They had their election registrations disrupted and they are facing secession within secession in the form of Makhirland.

 

Such is the story of the land with a million madmen but as the hero keeps on telling anyone that will listen, salvation will finally come.

Ngonge:

 

Thanks for wasting two minutes of my time that I'll never get back--Stuff iyo Caano boore waaxid!

 

dhulQarnayn :cool:

Republic Of California

[NGONGE]

^^ Two minutes keeping you from creating more mischief elsewhere. My job is done, Milky Bar Kid.

[Ibtisam]

NGonge, here is the song to go with your post. I have yet to read it fully but I get the picture.

 

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=L5DOgRYis00

[Pujah]

Somali politics = Rush Limbough + Hannity

[dhulQarnayn]

Originally posted by NGONGE:

^^ Two minutes keeping you from creating more mischief elsewhere. My job is done, Milky Bar Kid.

"Mischief"? I think I have far too much competition from all the deviant apologists on SOL.

 

dhulQarnayn :cool:

Republic Of California

[Jacaylbaro]

Good summary yaa Ngonge .....

 

I will wait one more year to see what the next story will bring .....

[NGONGE]

^^ You didn't have to wait for a year, JB. A new hero was born yesterday. Bal taa ka sheekay!