Somali's and the caste issue in marriage

[MZanzi]

[Paragon]

Soomaalida waxay ku maahmaahdaa: 'naagi tag moojee tol maleh'. That gives 'some' of them the freedom to mix with any and all.

 

As for men, it's all about self-preservation of nasabnimada Somalinimo. Mixing it is tantamount to corrupting it first and second losing it altogether.

 

We cannot be a soceity of mongrels.

[Malika]

^Nasabadaa Somalinimo mexee tahay?

 

Ngonge..iga tag!

 

Faheema,we insist she marries a southerns just so we can sleep well at night,knowing humanity is at safe hand..what say?

 

As for thinking superior,hmmm..lets not even go there,anagaa isgaraneynaa..Somali on Somali discrimination is based on superiority maa been baanuu suu shegeynaa?

[AYOUB]

Malika

Depends on the reasons for dookh. If you think you are superior, you're sinful IMO. If it's cultural or family reasons then no. Someone could marry "outside" but still feel superior . That's my point.

[Malika]

^I have seen that..Feeling superior is being without the taqwaa of Allah,as we know we are mere human beings[with all our imperfections - including going to the toilet,smelly mouths,rotting within hours of death..after all mere - human.]

 

I still await Paragon's response,what is this about reserving 'somalinimo',after all who created a man? is it then the task of a man to reserve a man?.

[SayidSomal]

All this talk about Nasab iyo Dookh is akin to putting the cart before the horse(to do things in an improper order – mixed up priorities!);

The Companion Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) as saying: “A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, her status, her beauty and her religion, so try to get one who is religious, may your hand be besmeared with dust.” (Sahih Muslim, no. 3497)

Today, how many people can honestly claimto follow this Hadith in their choice of a prospective spouse? Having closely observed and participated in meetings where families discuss the merits of prospective spouses for their children, it seems as if piety is the last consideration after ‘noble’ clan liens, material worth (how much the maher would be) and what a good education/job one has. Indeed, in some cases, prospective brides and suitors are outright turned down for being “too religious”.

 

This does not mean that after one satisfies the condition of the prophet (i.e. choosing partner on the merit of their faith and character) one can not look at other reasons such as clan lines, beauty etc. of course given one has to be blessed with so many candidates to choose from in the first place.

 

Is it any wonder then, after we choose to purposely go against the injunctions of the Prophet (peace be upon him) that we find there is no barakah (blessing) in those marriages where people who chosen to get married on bases which qabiil your are first and beauty etc.

where are the other threads dealing high divorce rates among the community??????

 

P.S. Tuujiye - waraa batana tuujiye - oo bajaq-bajaq'da ku wareeray - batanka 'qardho' ku qorantahay oo gududka ah haysku riixin yakhay.

 

P.S 2 - also please refrain from calling our noble sisters of every clan "Bajaqley" :mad:

 

Sorry - another long one - hope you read! :cool:

[NGONGE]

^^ How many people actually marry on the basis of qabiil though? I mean do you get a girl or guy who sit there and think to themselves

 

"I am going to marry Abdi/Aasha not becuase they are pretty, rich or have a good deen and not because I like them but becuase they hail from noble Burco"

 

You people are thick.

[Juxa]

Ngonge somalis are stuuupidh runtii

 

i can understand marrying for money, looks etc lakin qabiil, fccck it

 

show me the ££££

[Malika]

Ngonge and his self convincing!...dismissing that it happens is rather naive of you.

 

Better go do real work..lol

[NGONGE]

Originally posted by Malika:

Ngonge and his self convincing!...dismissing that it happens is rather naive of you.

 

Better go do real work..lol

I can't see it happening, Malika. Not unless it's an arranged sort of marriage.

[Malika]

^Wallahi it happens,worse I have seen is some people staying in abusive relationship and the reasoning is 'waa inaderkeey' ama 'waa inadeertay'

 

 

and why are you winking at me?

[Ibtisam]

Originally posted by Tuujiye:

ma xasuusataa hada kohor mar aan bilaabi jiray a Topic called "Qabiil" and this bajaq Ibsi aka Ghanima iyo all these other reer waqooyi bajaqs from Burco ee xanaaqi jireen because I mentioned how they hated to marry outside their qabiil? the Admin deleted the topic dhan lol..... war bajaqdaan iyo saaxiib yaasheed waa jiran yahiin walaahi oo baaldi intii madax loo gashay ayaa laga dhaqay lol brain wash ka daran yaah.....

 

Firstly you are a liar- I imagined that since you grew up and got married and all, you will grow up a little on this forum too. Sadly you are still up to your old tricks.

 

In that Qabiil thread, the reason it got deleted (and you went on to make another called Gahanima & Nomadic) was because it was full of your insults and cantrabaqash, which started as result of me and Nomadique saying we are unlikely to marry from outside the Northern region. You started a triad of insults about how northern girls this and that and now you want to mask it as if it was respectable discussion. I have not insulted any clans or even traits of guys, I have preference- I did then and I still do. SO WHAT? :confused:

 

Ilaahoo qaluubta noo daawee lol

awalna bajaqyaasha burco baadiyaheeda intee kasoo tagaan ayee nin wax bartay xamar kasoo raadsan jireen hadana iyagoo bustii burco wili wato bee nin reer koonfur ka faanayaan

lool magaalo London laho aan joognaa maad ka wadaan? lool

Wareer Badanaa!!!

Secondly your whole theory that women use to go from the villiages and miyi of Burco to marry men who were "educated" in Xamar is just that, your theory, and one that is highly unlikely considering the distance and the control that fathers have over the girls. As for in laga faan reer koonfur men, cida ka faanta uu sheeg and safe me your bulshid.

 

Originally posted by Kool_Kat:

quote:Originally posted by *Ibtisam:

we have no problems with the guys marrying out, it is the girls we have issues with.

Reer Southerner ma idin rabaanbo horta hore mala'is weydiiyay? Ibti, ama lug ku qas, ama jilib ku qas, ama suxul wax ku qas wiilasheena anageyba inaga badneen, so as a friend of mine would say 'hold your horses'...Erm, do you even have horses in Burco?

 

Wiilasheena iyagoo helo karo mid aadan umodeyn inuu carabka muruq ka galay markey la hadleyso, markey u dhoola casseysana aad moodo in ilkaheeda nuurad lamariyay, oo hadana 'aboow macaan' ugu sii dareyso Northka uma soo socdaan...

KK, You know Walihi it shows that you mix with all kinds of people from different walks of Somalia because pretending iyo is macanise kuguma jiro. I feel like you have been the most honest and straight forward on this issue. Some people think sweeping under the table makes it all go away. Others do not interact with others and live in a little bubble.

 

To answer your question, I don't know but some of them must want them and it works the other way too. I happen to like the whole carabka muruq ka galay style of talking, it is the only thing that will do for me- a matter of taste eh.

 

The rest of the outraged crew, Oh well as the youth say shid happens.

 

*Waves at Ms DD*- I am trying to warm myself up in this snow dear- hence the walwalaq

 

P.s. I don't feel the need to say I am not qaablist BUT..... so think what you want, who cares :cool:

[NGONGE]

^^ That's different though. They're already in the relationship and they're being pressured by others to stay in it. But did they marry the cousin becuase he is their cousin or just becuase they liked him/her? Labada kala sar.

 

P.S.

No comment on the wink.

[Malika]

^Some because they are a cousin,have you not heard of them? Naa heedhee wilki inaa hebeel,oo reeraheeni baa kuu soo doonee[along those lines is the proposal]..lol

 

ps.I am curious dee..eey better stop the winking before accused of flirting

[GaroweGal]

Originally posted by General Duke:

 

Would you as a member of the "big" clans marry from these clans? Wouls you allow your children, and many of us are parents to marry into these clans and vica versa?

 

Do share

It's the 21st century and we are asking ourselves this question. Truly sad. This is why Somalia is in the dire situation it is in today. We are the most backwards group of people and need to emancipate ourselves from this neanderthal-like mentality of clan superiority. The sooner we admit to this the better.

 

I hold the notion that there are worthier characteristics of an individual that are more deserving of an appraisal than their clan.