Somali's and the caste issue in marriage

[Blessed]

^Cousin in the qabiil sense, anyone from the main clan is one of us sort of thing.

 

Johhny,

LOL. Some would fear the crazy, violent Burcawi connection more than the minority stigma. And regardless of his qabiil Ng, is blessed, yeah?!

[Geel_jire]

This is much easier said then done.

 

A good friend of mine went through this a few years ago .. in the beginning he was adamant that he wouldn't let anyone interfere in marrying the girl who happened to be from a minority clan.

 

The opposition was just too great mother, father , friends , he faced being completely ostracized and then finally the "Duco ama habaar" card was played.

 

from an Islamic perspective it is permissible to choose ones future spouse based on lineage so they used that against him as well.

 

 

he backed off finally .. so before you say I would .... you should be willing to face this and much more resistance.

 

personally I don't care what her tribe is ... but I don't think I can go through all that just to marry her.

[Napoleon]

I am personally against people discriminating against me, but I have no problem discriminating against others. If a caste system favors me over others, who am i to complain? survival of the fittest and all, even darwin would be qabiliste.

[Dhagax-Tuur]

Starting with...

 

"Oh yeah, I'm totally against this prejudice, it's wrong wrong wrong. Would I marry someone from that tribe though? Well, my family wouldn't be happy and it's a tough decision to make and I wouldn't want my kids to have to struggle and you know it's a complicated issue."

 

Very vague and contradictory, but understandable, that is. Every parent must think of their offspring and their future.

 

 

"...but I want it on record that I am not opposed to my future children bringing someone of a minor clan home...."

 

So let the children struggle..Okay. But it was still going good, until....

 

"..As long as s/he is smart, and educated, and nice and friendly and appreciates how lucky they are that I'm so tolerant and open-minded!"

 

BooooooooooooooM!

[General Duke]

The comments thus far have been as expected. The parens thing I am not to sure, I had an independt minded mother who trully did not care and had close school freinds from those families. However I understand that some parents are scared of losing face, they don't want their Mohamed or Ifrax to be the talk of the town. The problem here is with the high divorce rate in the west, the abusive marriages and uneducated masses. If a suitable indivdual, educated, and hard working were found why would you be an obsticle as a parent? It does not make sense to me. However i would not encourage such marriage if it did not come from the individuals themselves.

[5]

Wow. I just realized how lucky and blessed I am to not consider these issues a factor. I know that my Mom & Dad would welcome even a Chinese into the family so long as he's Muslim and very successful in his chosen field

Even a Jewish revert! In fact, one of my mother's friends is Jewish. I've really never seen anyone quite like my mother...

 

To the rest of you: I feel sorry for you! I really do. All that drama...

[Jacpher]

^Somali parents find is easy welcoming a non-Somali be it Chinese or Jew than Somali jareer, mushunguli or a those seen inferior sub-clan in somali tradition.

 

You want my honest opinion on this? Don't go there. Swim with your fish.

[NGONGE]

Originally posted by Blessed.*:

I've found the good thing about marrying minority or none Somalis is that people interfere with you less. I'd allow my girls, just to rid them of Somaali faduulis.

 

Anyways, this is xaraam mahaa? It's deen before dhaqan in my home!

I don't think it's xaraam at all. The faith pays great attention to the concept of 'nasab'.

 

I know I would not feel too happy about my daughters marrying someone from Hargeisa, never mind minorty clans or southern people.

 

(see, KK, that's how you do it. Fulay waaxid).

[Che -Guevara]

^Did you say reer Hergaysa nasab ma,aha..najis dheh

[5]

Originally posted by Jacphar:

^Somali parents find is easy welcoming a non-Somali be it Chinese or Jew than Somali jareer, mushunguli or a those seen inferior sub-clan in somali tradition.

 

You want my honest opinion on this? Don't go there. Swim with your fish.

I'll go wherever I want!

 

I'd like to see a Somali jareer etc.! The trouble is I've never seen one. I don't really care as long as they're uber-attractive and like, sooo, like, smart.

 

The only real problem might be lack of confidence / low-self esteem, which they might suffer from due to discrimination. It affects one on so many levels. And that makes the person ultimately unattractive and unbearable to live with.

[STOIC]

You may all say you don't care for now but when reality comes around and an innocent girl wins your heart you will pray that she is from your clan.You will all opt for someone from your clan unless of course Allah cures you from this clannish disease...I hate to discriminate, but I'm already poisoned and it was difficult for me personally to entertain the idea of marrying someone from distant clan!

 

When I was courting my wife first time we never talked about tribe.Walahi I didn't know who she was and what tribe she was from.I will be lying through my teeth though if I said I never cared about the whole Qabil thing.She was an American in every sense completely opposite of me.She came here when she was two years old and she never cared about the whole qabil thing, but me having poisoned in Africa I wanted to make sure I was not dating someone from far clan.I wanted someone that my folks will be comfortable around whenever they come to my house.It was difficult decision to figure what she was and it would have been rude had I asked her straight up what tribe she was from at the beginning.We dated for few months when I finally asked her where her parents grew up.She of course mentioned the capital city Mogadishu a difficult place to pinpoint to a specific tribe.Finally I straight up asked after we were both comfortable around each other....

[NGONGE]

Originally posted by Che -Guevara:

^Did you say reer Hergaysa nasab ma,aha..najis dheh

Nope. I didn't say that (though I can see how it may have sounded). But reer Hargiesa maxan ka aqaan dee? Give me a Burco Fishboy anytime.

[Kool_Kat]

Originally posted by NGONGE:

I know I would not feel too happy about my daughters marrying someone from Hargeisa, never mind minorty clans or southern people.

 

(see, KK, that's how you do it. Fulay waaxid).

Meelkasto adi hot air uun la taagnoow, laakiin mardambe hadaan afkaaga Southern people of Somalia aan ka maqlo **takes off kab dacas ah** dacas baan indhaha kaala dhici!!! :mad:

 

How's that for a fulay?

[NGONGE]

^^ Dee anigaad iga adagtahay oon.

Anyway, waxan naga daa..inanta guurman ka so doonna?

[Malika]

^LOL..I like that. , you want to give KK a heart attack..lol