NGONGE Posted February 5, 2007 ^^^ There is meddling and then there is given simple advice. Nobody can force a free adult to do what they don't want to do. All one can do is show them how it is and then sit and watch them make the right (or wrong) decision. It all depends on the first instance. If she lets him get away with it easily then there is hardly any hope that she'll walk away. But if she holds her ground maybe there is some chance things might not be repeated. If she walks out, well, she's probably better off. Wife-beating in the West is not as big a problem as in Africa, etc. The woman is free to walk out and is unlikley to suffer by doing so. In Somalia and other places, where the man is the main breadwinner, life compels some women to stay and suffer just so that they can simple LIVE. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Khayr Posted February 6, 2007 Salamz, يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُواْ لاَ تُبْطِلُواْ صَدَقَاتِكُم بِالْمَنِّ وَالأذَى O you who believe, annul not, the rewards of, your voluntary almsgivings with reproach and injury[ /QUOTE] Such a request on line and its purpose are truely sicking. Unless the person is does not pray and thus not having that tie to Islam, wishing divorce upon them is a curse. Divorce might be halal but it is the most hated thing that Allah has made permissible in the Shariah of Islam. Question-Suppose your cousin divorces-What of them then? Her value has gone down and she will be known as a 'Divorcee'. You will have devalued her worth and her family honor. Also, are you prepared to offer long term emotional and financial support. Remember now, Divorce in the deen is considered to be a critically negative point in someone's life and is contrary to the idea of Tawhid. And for those yapping away about if he beats her, they should divorce ASAP-cut the crap. Who would be there to help them in their time of difficulty that could last for years. Certainely not you nor I, so don't be quick to advocate for the dissolution of the family system which is sacred in Islam. Marriage is the bond that forms society and strengthens the muslim community. Divorce is the anti-thesis of those things e.g. strenght, unity, stability etc. Please don't get hot now and imply that I advocate for wife beating because that is certainely not part of the Muhammadan way (sunnah). Wife-beating in the West is not as big a problem as in Africa, etc. The woman is free to walk out and is unlikley to suffer by doing so. In Somalia and other places, where the man is the main breadwinner, life compels some women to stay and suffer just so that they can simple LIVE. Are you implying that wife-beating is more common in Africa than in the West? In anycase, this is about someone wanting to curse their family member and wish them Divorce. Allah yahdeekum! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rudy-Diiriye Posted February 6, 2007 i freaking hate qadhis! i amna knock 1 of them suckas soon! mark my word. how the heck did he get my work, home and cell numbers! what gives!! not even my parents have my work and cell#! ok here is the thing! if you gal has the qadhi on fast dial on her cell, run for the broader like icu!! i mean it. shes his ho!! the dude kept calling for 3 days, till i gave up! he was worst thab irs... tax collector 4 u brit-heads!! he didnt even explain nada! he wanned me to do 3 strikes and u is out! i did it cuz he force me to do this by harassing me! well, i hopes he getting the icing on the cake!! even though he aint gonna get my special treat!! cuz that needs mind blowing imaginations!! loser!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ms DD Posted February 6, 2007 Rudy..you actually have been married before? Are you for real dude? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Valenteenah. Posted February 6, 2007 Originally posted by Khayr: Question-Suppose your cousin divorces-What of them then? Her value has gone down and she will be known as a 'Divorcee'. You will have devalued her worth and her family honor. Also, are you prepared to offer long term emotional and financial support. Remember now, Divorce in the deen is considered to be a critically negative point in someone's life and is contrary to the idea of Tawhid. And for those yapping away about if he beats her, they should divorce ASAP-cut the crap. Who would be there to help them in their time of difficulty that could last for years. Certainely not you nor I, so don't be quick to advocate for the dissolution of the family system which is sacred in Islam. Marriage is the bond that forms society and strengthens the muslim community. Divorce is the anti-thesis of those things e.g. strenght, unity, stability etc. Blah blah blah, yada yada yada. Sorry but I wouldn't stand for my cousin to be abused, least of all by her husband. Despite nacnacdaada, marriage in by itself isn't necessarily good. What makes a marriage are the two people involved, without them, it's just an empty framework. I should also remind you that it's a voluntary union. Nobody should be forced to be with somebody who mistreats them. Divorce may be disliked, but it's available for a reason. Oh and, there is nothing wrong with a divorcee. At least she's alive and well and can marry again. Men (abusive or otherwise) come and go. Your family and friends are there for life. Women should remember that. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NGONGE Posted February 6, 2007 ^^^ They're not really. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Valenteenah. Posted February 6, 2007 ^ They often are. Always there to pick up the pieces after the shidh hits the fan in a major way. I think that's when ppl really realise that blood is thicker than water. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NGONGE Posted February 6, 2007 "I think that's when ppl really realise that blood is thicker than water". What an ill-timed choice of words. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
