Fear of childbirth?

[Faynuus]

TT watch this.

 

 

[TT]

Faynuus...I don't understand what he is saying? My Somali is not that good. lol

 

Only understood Hooyo

[Malika]

Even though I dont suffer from tokophobia,everytime I see a heavly pregnant woman meel baa idaamqata..oh men! just the thought of what awaits her,makes me cringe! but yet that doesnt stop me from getting broody every time I see a baby..

[Umm_Uthman]

TT- when u said "Seriously, I have no idea why women would put themselves in that position?" i just thought hmmmm :rolleyes: if your mum thought the same way you did, you then probably would cease to exist and not be able to think the way you are? but allahumduillah each to his own.... i mean its one thing to have a phobia.... but your fear aint nothing to do with childbith but pain, which is pretty understandable since u'v been traumatised by witnessing quite a few births.... but u never u mite just change ur mind ...inshallah wasalaam

[Valenteenah.]

It's an understandable fear. But millions of women overcome it each day. I'm sure we can too. Or at least that's how I try to view it.

[Aaliyyah]

We are all humans and we are afraid of things we are yet to experience bt you shouldn't let fear cloud your better judgement. Ofcourse, it is painful and hard but at the end it will be worth it, and with Allah's help we will over come it. I don't think it is reasonable to say i wont have kids because of childbirth.I hope you get over it, perhaps it will take you longer to get the hang of it. How about volunteer at a hospital....i dont know if they will let you help out with the childbirth but maybe just conversing with newly mothers who will share their childbirth experience can decrease if not discount your fear.

 

good luck

[TT]

Thanks everyone for ur advice. I honestly don't think counsellings would help me...if I was to ever get pregnant I would become extremely depressed and have a miserable time each day. I wouldn't feel happy at all, and probably will resent the child for putting me through such pain and discomfort. I don't think thats fair for anyone.

 

I honestly think my best bet is to adopt at some point. If not, then it was not meant to be.

 

AAliyah...I work in a hospital as a health care professional and have seen many women give birth. That only reinforced my views and fear.

 

thanks

[Nephissa]

I am almost afraid to post in this thread haha. As a woman who may one day [given the perfect circumstances] will have children, it is a little bit refreshing to hear from sisters who say they enjoyed and portray the act of childbirth as being less than horrifying.

 

What I find so remarkable about childbirth is that as soon as the baby is born, the new mother starts to laugh through her tears, the pain goes and before you know it, she forgets just how bad it was L0L...good job too or our moms would never have more than one!

 

I wish that there was more of a focus on the positive aspects rather than the negative. I truely wish that instead of having this negative stigma of being pure hell, childbirth could have the reputation of being a beautiful act of life and love.

[sheherazade]

^ the reputation would improve if the women who have the means just TAKE THE DAMN DRUGS and push. Natural this, natural that. A headache's natural too but I don't see many turning their noses up at taking something for that. It's the drama, women are addicted to the drama. Every woman needs a dramatic birth story, don't you know.

[Chocolate and Honey]

It is refreshing to hear from a sister who is express her fears publicly. I used to feel the same way, Wallahi! I naively volunteered at a hospital when I was 15 out of the pure goodness of my heart and the pursuit of class credit. Tell me why they would assign me the Maternity award every day. White people. There I have witnessed the horror of child birthing. There is no such thing as bravery there my dear. You’ll see grown women crying, soiling themselves and screaming at the top of their lungs. And where are the men? Chilling in the waiting room with coffee checking the time. One time this Sudanese woman who is circumcised almost chewed my arm off. She told me to never have sex if I have any sense. Scared me for life, I’m telling you.

 

Now, Phobia is Phobia, no reasoning there. After the years had passed I came to change my view. Children are blessing and child rearing is a privilege. Don’t think so? Do a research on the heartbreaks women go through when they cant conceive. They’ll do anything! We are wired that way. It’s all good and fun when you know you can conceive if you want but you choose not to. But it is another when you find out there is no chance. As strong, educated and independent barred women are they lost their minds when they can’t conceive because it does something to their psyche. It is like you are not a complete woman. Adoption is noble but there is nothing like having your own blood and flesh (I don’t have kids yet but I’m planning to have them naturally and adopt some more).

So sister girl, relax and get counseling. Don’t focus on the pain so much cuz it’ll pass and you’ll have a gorgeous human being that came from you.

[Faynuus]

well said girls.

 

TT iam very curios to know what made you take a profession in the healthcare industry? that shows you are caring human being who can deal with pain. You deal with sufferers all the time. you could have resigned and changed your profession long time ago but loving your line of work shows you CAN ALSO HAVE PLENTY OF KIDS! be a woman and face your fears. I say make yourself a husband get pregnant insha Allah(that is a huge gift) and come back to us. lol

[Chimera]

Masha'allah Faynuus keep the next generation of patriots coming

 

TT if you were my wife i would be standing beside you from the 1st Month to Month 9 don't underestimate the support of your loved ones and the positive effect it can have on your mental and physical capacity to take on such a noble task

 

I have tremendous respect for women in general, because pregnancy is no joke but there are many ways to deal with labour. A major issue for you is the 'pain', though what i'm going to say is nothing compared to giving birth, one of my phobias as a kid was filling a cavity at the dentist, that peeping sound and all those different things in my mouth at the same time always gave me the feeling i was about to black out but this had more to do with me panicking than actually feeling pain cause as i learned to relax and started focusing on something else i felt nothing

 

I personally don't think you will care about the pain after the 9 months have ended cause you will have created through that time a special bond with your future son or daughter and seeing him or her is what will drive you, the urge to hold him/her in your hands is what will ease the pain

 

But i'm a man, what do i know?

[Ibtisam]

^^^Adam you've come a long way. Last time we spoke of this topic in the general section (about a year ago) You joked you would sleep in a different bed (or maybe room) because you love your sleep so much I’m glade to see you have progressed since!

[Chimera]

lol i remember that conversation(though not the topic) and how you laughed at my potential groundbreaking invention (hole in the bed so a pregnant woman can sleep on her stomach lol)

 

Indeed i have matured

[SCORPION_SISTA]

Woman who had children before, experienced great pains and prolonged agonies, would be back to having children in few years ago...Allah has just given women miracle to forget the pain of child bearing once it has passed...Only those who are peterfied of child birth I think are individuals who have seen someone die while giving birth...Some traumatic experience caused the memory to seem vivid...And then it's just like any other fear, one has to go through it, to conquer it