Ibtisam Posted February 17, 2010 A woman's husband sleep-talks at night and she records the brilliance for the world. Here's the most recent entry: It makes me laugh. Feb 16 2010 "Forks. Forks to the left. To the left! No, greasy mugs go there. You really have everything ***-****ed backwards, don't you." "Why don't you make your mouth useful. Say goodbye." "You've got to save the curtains! Save the curtains... They hold so many secrets." "Please bounce on my bed with me. Bounce with me. Because there's nothing more romantic than bouncing..... Boing." __________ Karen's note: I've never mentioned that Adam also has a funny way of waking up. Adam goes from dead asleep to fully cognizant in a single moment. He's what you might call a morning person. For example, this morning, he was lying there, breathing slowly and deeply, dead to the world. Suddenly, his eyes popped open and he announced, "Ear plugs. We have to get ear plugs for honeymoon. We don't know how loud it will be in the jungle." And this was not something out of a dream, or part of his sleep-talking. This was an entirely relevant, perfectly-formed thought. What a freak. Oh, hey, we just enabled fan photos on the Facebook page 20100105 Jan 4 2010 "Let me hold you in my arms. Feel me squeeze the living ******* breath out of your ******* body. Bliss. Lovely." "Skipping to work makes everything better." "I haven't put on weight. Your eyes are fat." "I'd rather peel off my skin and bathe my weeping raw flesh in a bath of vinegar than spend any time with you. But that's just my opinion. Don't take it personally." "Elephant trunks should be used for elephant things only. Nothing else." "Lentils are evil. Pure ******* oozing evil. Take them away from me." "My vision of hell is a lentil casserole." "By the way, washing in rose water doesn't stop you smelling like a piece of shit." "Avocados? You can shove them up your *** as well." "Be happy happy happy happy." "Now **** off and let me bask in the glory of being me." Wife's note: Wow. This was a goldmine of a night. Eleven entries, a new record! http://sleeptalkinman.blogspot.com/ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted February 17, 2010 "Don't move a muscle. Bushbabies are everywhere... everywhere... Shoot the ******* big-eyed wanky shite ****s! Kick 'em. Stamp them. Poke 'em in their big eyes! Take that for scaring the crap out of me." Feb 13 2010 "Oh, don't worry, dear. The spot doesn't make you ugly. No no no. The rest of your face, now THAT makes you ugly. The spot's just a highlight." __________ Karen's note: Here in the UK, spot = zit. Feb 10 2010 "Hey, I've got a great idea. You **** off out of my life forever. Perfect!" "Doozers. You know the doozers. They're geezers, the doozers... Tossbag!" "Kisses and cuddles. Thank you. Get used to it." "Barbie dolls. I've got to use barbie dolls. They're so underrated!" __________ Karen's note: Wow. Sleep Talkin' Man actually said something sweet. Adam chattered his head off last night. Not only were there these, there were FIVE MORE that I got to add to the honeymoon store! Maybe I'll feed him aubergine (eggplant) lasagna every night. "My *** and my personality are the same thing. Huge and in your face." Typical Caadan, he swears even in his dream/ sleep talking!. lol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Miriam1 Posted February 17, 2010 LOL that was too funny. love this one "You've got to save the curtains! Save the curtains... They hold so many secrets." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
grasshopper Posted February 17, 2010 thanks for the website, the man is hillarious! my favourite so far "I haven't put on weight. Your eyes are fat." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Miriam1 Posted February 17, 2010 ^ lol that's funny - and so true - some people's eyes are just fat. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
