Short Sharp; Sweet Sour

[Castro]

When did you leave Somalia?

 

In 1965.

 

What's your education background?

 

I have BA in English & American Literature; and an MA in Creative Writing.

 

Do you think Somalia will ever get a viable government?

 

Yes,

 

 

when hens grow teeth

when pigs sprout wings and learn to fly

when hair begins to grow on your palms

when cats and mice learn to live in peace

when Arabs and Jews begin to learn to live together

 

in peace

in Jerusalem

 

as the capital of their common state bound

as one people fathered by Prophet Abraham

as kissing cousins

as kin & kith

 

 

holding their Faith

 

in Allah

in the unity of spirit

in the bonds of Peace

in the righteousness of Life.

 

Most Somalis think that you are not Muslim,

why do you think they reach this conclusion?

 

Thank God!

I live now in Canada

 

 

Where it does not matter what most Somalis think

Where I am free from all religions

 

Particularly from

 

ignorant & arrogant

black & bad

primitive & brutal

postiche & bogus

foolish & fanatical

violent & vainglorious

coercive & irrational

Munaafaq & mindlessly clannish Somali Islam.

 

 

Thank God!

I live now in Canada

 

Where I can practice any religion I damn well please!

 

But I am beyond religions

 

 

Thank God!

I live now in Canada

 

Where I dare declare without getting killed by fanatical fools

that Love is my religion and the universe is my Holy Book

 

 

Thank God!

I live now in Canada

 

Where I now enjoy being a postulant Sufi abecedarian

 

 

Free to be me

Free to be Togane

Free to celebrate & savor the sapid postulative insight that

 

"Religion is for those who are afraid of going to hell.

Spirituality is for those who have already been there."

 

Why do you write about tribalism/clanism in most of your work?

 

Because I have yet to meet one single Somali

 

Who

 

only belongs

only to Allah

 

Who doest not

 

first & foremost

 

belong to the Somali KKK of

*** ***** Dayoos Doqon Da-mean Danyer!

 

 

Look

Let us make a deal:

 

I will stop writing about Somali clanism

 

The most insidious sort of racism

 

When we Somalis stop wandering all over the world

Like that dog Alexander Pope gave to his Royal Highness

 

With a sign around our clannish stiff necks

Proclaiming to all & sundry

 

 

I am his Haughty Highness’ Hutu ****** hog of a dog

Pray tell me, sir, whose hog of a dog are you?

Are you a dirty dumb dreadful ***** dog of a hog?

 

How do you think Somali youth will receive your work?

 

In the same spirit in which I produce my work

In the spirit of Somalisssimo!

In the spirit of Somalia Hanolatto!

In the spirit of love & joy

In the spirit of open-mindedness

In the spirit of fun & joy

In the spirit of clan-less guilelessness!

in the spirit of telling the truth regardless of who is waiting to take an offence!

In the spirit of not being stuck on being ****** like most Somalis

In the spirit of having the courage

 

 

to say my say

to say what I believe

to express my opinions

regardless of who is itching to be offended by me!!!

 

Above all,

 

in the spirit of having the courage to betray my clan

Rather than my friends

 

 

As my father had done

As my father had taught me

 

When he quipped, Awada Jáw *****!

Only tonight do I deign to call myself an *****!

 

What book are you reading at the moment and Why?

 

Right now I am reading a book entitled,

“Tomorrow’s God: Our Greatest Spiritual Challengeâ€

by one called Neale Donald Walsch (2004)

 

because I love God

because I love reading

because I hate sleeping alone

 

 

so I always sleep with a book

so I always wake up with a book

 

you know, at least

 

 

a book doesn’t fart

a book does not snore

a book does not have a hell of a halitosis!

a book won't get offended if you drop her for another book!

 

So go to bed with a book

And come before the book comes

if you can't help it!

 

The book won't put you out

 

in the outhouse

in the doghouse

 

because you passed out and began to snore too early before her

because you hit a humdinger of a homerun too early before she did!

 

 

Do you plan to go back to Somalia?

 

I will go back to Somalia

When we ****** Somalis master

Jackie ‘Moms†Mabley’s most basic lesson of

 

If you always do

What you always did

You will always get

What you always got!

 

 

NOTES

 

The questions were put to Mohamud Togane by Ahmed Hussein of Pace Magazine

[sheherazade]

He sounds mad, a different kind of mad. Very readable and entertaining! Moralise with him at your peril.

[Castro]

Indeed peril is not an understatement. Personally, I couldn't handle anything but angry poetry when it comes to clannism. Anything else would be fluff.

[Pujah]

Hmmm... Interesting.

 

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.

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NEXT

[STOIC]

The dude is a bit of a grig,I say..........

[Naden]

Would Somalis have cared less about tribalism if nationhood wasn't imposed by colonial powers?

 

Check out the answer to this question posed to a former Minister of Education about tribalism in Nigeria, Mrs. Tejumade Alakija:

 

"In the past, nobody laid emphasis on the “tribal†sentiment, as it were. The founding fathers were more interested in developing their individual regions. The word, “tribalism†connotes under-development and its attendant evils; we are made up of proud nations, and we get on as one group. Like I said earlier, the leaders led their individual groups -- not to the detriment of others -- but making sure that each entity was successful, and had their demands and aspirations met by the federal government. In those days, we operated as independent regions, which were not subservient to the centre. Yet, it was not a weak federal government, and each region cooperated on relevant issues with one another".

 

http://www.nigeriavillagesquare1.com/Articles/CAchebe/Archives/2005_10_01_index.html

[Castro]

No one knows what any group would have done in the absence of colonialism but tribalism in Somalia was pretty rampant prior, during and post colonialism. The only difference now is that conflicts are deadlier due to advanced weaponry and foreign interference from one or more countries.

[Naden]

Rampant, yes. But would nationhood (collaborating with members of outside tribes) have evolved under the pressures of modernisation and development? The rest of her responses indicate that peaceful interactions between tribes were the norm in Nigeria and would have supported the birth of a central (federal) authority had the divide-and-conquer politics of colonialism not widened rifts and animosities.

[Castro]

^ I hear ya but these ifs, woulds, coulds and maybes are giving me a heartburn. Tribalism is an old cultural system that has long outlived its usefulness and practicality. It needs to go.

[BOB]

Castro...when you finally become the Prime Minister of Canada don't forget to appoint me as your Minister of Finance in other words i will be playing the second coming of Che' Guevara and steal the limelight from you while you steal billions just to keep the real African man in you happy and don't forget to light one big cigar (the famous Canadian Cigar) just for the sake of it and force the wanna be authors to write a novel about the country and call it "Toronto Nights" and one silly patriotic Canadian turn the book into a cheap movie which will premier only in Viatnam and Angola... how do you like my plan so far Il Comandante Fidel Castro?

 

 

Peace,Love & Unity.

[Castro]

^ I'm not sure what to think BOB. Your plan is a little ambiguous and reeks of sarcasm. A sentiment I hate to associate with Che and Fidel. Elucidate, won't you?.

[FatB]

:confused: is any one els lost :confused:

[Resistance]

^^^^ No .. you lost on your own ..