Dhimbil Posted November 3, 2003 The following article appeared on The New York Time Magazine, Sunday 10/26/03. It talks about and profiles successful women who left their high paying jobs to become house wifes or full time mothers enjoy it, its long. Click here for the article Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Baashi Posted November 3, 2003 Many thanks ilmatic sxb. It is very telling, informative piece. To spice it up there is a qoute that sums it up (for me) : ''Every once in a while I would raise my head from the grind of getting this case ready and I would say, 'Where are we with my proposal?''' she remembers. ''Finally, when the case was pulled from the calendar, I did a lot of soul-searching. My life, my home life and my new family life were at the mercy of other people's whims. The judge had chosen to go fishing. My partners had chosen not to place my request on high-enough priority.'' One night she and her husband sat down, and he asked, '' What is the ultimate goal? '' ''In theory,'' she answered, ''the goal is to become a partner.'' ''Does your life get better or worse if you become a partner?'' ''Well, financially it gets better, but in terms of my actual life, it gets worse.'' And that is when Brokaw quit. She now cares full time for that eldest daughter, as well as the two children who followed. ''I wish it had been possible to be the kind of parent I want to be and continue with my legal career,'' she says, ''but I wore myself out trying to do both jobs well.'' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Xafsa Posted November 4, 2003 Aaah...another topic thats been talked to death!! But very interesting article! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ayaanick Posted November 4, 2003 hmmm interesting: so the point to this article was again? That we will always just end up being a mother...always the care givers....that's it I am dropping out of school, and looking for a husband!!! yup you heard me..so who is looking to tie the knot huh?? J/W tata...we better find a better topic then this..it is just getting on my nerves!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gediid Posted November 4, 2003 Originally posted by ayaanick: That we will always just end up being a mother...always the care givers....that's it I am dropping out of school, and looking for a husband!!! yup you heard me..so who is looking to tie the knot huh?? J/W Is there anything wrong with a woman becoming that,a care giver a mother.Does that demean her in any way? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ayaanick Posted November 5, 2003 Is there anything wrong with a woman becoming that,a care giver a mother.Does that demean her in any way? I never said there was anything wrong with that. I just don't enjoy the fact that we are only viewed as the care-givers, never the care getters?? We are always told to things for others, and some of it comes naturally, but when is enough, enough. When will see the day that "Fathers stay at home to take care of their children." I think mothers deserve an standing ovation for a job well done, but it is time to share the job with the fathers, after all it does take two to tango. Does it not??? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dhimbil Posted November 7, 2003 Ramadan Mubarak My intent for posting the article wasn’t to create nuisance for the nomad sisters, but to merely highlight bookworm women who have chosen to be housewives or family engineers. Thus, refute the notion stay home mothers are some how inept or incompetent intellectually and professionally. I have heard/read a lot of responses like “I invested too much in my education to be a housewife” from sisters, hence they assume someone who is educated does not merit being stay home mother, thus, only uneducated or ignorant are to be a housewife. The article disapproves that view and that’s why I thought it was an interesting read and important addition to the ongoing discussion of housewife/career women dilemma. Personally, not against females who would like to pursue a career per se, matter in fact, more power to them. But, I do have a problem with sisters who in an attempt to appear “enlighten” put down other sisters who are or choose to be housewives or caregivers. We should be complimenting those sisters for taking on a hard task of raising/molding a whole person by being there for their kids and bringing up well rounded young adults. Ayaanick Glad you enjoyed the piece; someone in another forum mentioned how this article is a nightmare to militant feminist, but if it just “got your nerves” than your coming around, I though you would lock your self in a room or something lol j/k of course. Also, good luck with your search of a stay home fella. Muja garasiyas! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
codetalker Posted November 7, 2003 Interesting article. It reminded me of a famous rebel warrior from some Third World conflict who, once asked where do women belong in his revolution, simply replied: "On their backs." Nothing wrong with being a mother. Nothing wrong with being a "working" mother. Nowadays, more men get in the kitchen and more women in the workplace. It's the way of the world. I'd suggest for some gentlemen to catch up. And quick! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gediid Posted November 7, 2003 Originally posted by ayaanick: Is there anything wrong with a woman becoming that,a care giver a mother.Does that demean her in any way? I never said there was anything wrong with that. I just don't enjoy the fact that we are only viewed as the care-givers, never the care getters?? We are always told to things for others, and some of it comes naturally, but when is enough, enough. When will see the day that "Fathers stay at home to take care of their children." I think mothers deserve an standing ovation for a job well done, but it is time to share the job with the fathers, after all it does take two to tango. Does it not??? I had more than a standing ovation in mind when it comes to mothers but if you feel that's all you will need,I will be willing to do that every hour on the hour for the rest of my life.I sincerely think no person alive can ever truly express in words and deeds how grateful we are all, to our mothers. Ilaahey ha noo daayo Hooyo hadey nooshey haddey Akhri joogto Ilaahow janada meesha ugu fiicaan noo gee Having said that walaalo hikmad Ilaahey kuu siiyey ha iska qaadin.Dont beg for something you dont bargain for,being a mother and a care giver should be a source of strenght & blessing for all women and not a case for defamation as most feminsts would want you to believe. On the kaftan side tho ,I have absolutely no problem with my wife(INSHA ALLAH when I get married) being the bread winner.Its about time baan ku leeyahay.She will get the VIP treatment upon her return from work (feet rub,back rub and the works) but the bank account better be full year round and I dont have to beg for my kitchen aprons,they better be there in my choice of colors and designs otherwise expect all hell to break lose Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Xafsa Posted November 8, 2003 Gediid will you marry me? On a more serious note women do need to start taking motherhood seriously. Its our duty to take care of our children...eve if you have a career your first priority is the tarbiyah and nurturing of those kids....you do wanna raise productive god fearing children right? You have a career that will not enable you to be with your kids then the jobs got to go,provided their father is willing and able to take care of our every financial need. What we women do can never be done by any man...so why must we down play it? Embrace it, be proud of it! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
-Serenity- Posted November 8, 2003 An Interesting Article and More Interesting points of View. The way I see it, Education should definitely come first in a woman's life - Higher Education 2 b more specific. Infact, it should be declared a prerequisite to being a mother. Reason being - she is the backbone of her family and the one who will sit day in n day out helping with her kids homework. The one who will teach them the fundamentals to being successfull in this dog eats dog world of ours.Provided no years have been skipped, crucial education can be covered by 22-23yrs of Age - well in time 2 have a family. There is nothing wrong with being a home-maker(*trying to be politically correct)... infact, every woman should take that few years off to give her full, undivided attention to her childen. However, what becomes of her after all her kids are in school and not home half the time? ... hopefully have some kinda qualification to fall back on...give something to the wider community and enhance her life. I dont have a problem with educated, aware, self relient mothers who take time off to raise their child ........ its the no-job going, uneducated, unaware, dependent women who think they only thing they can contribute to the world is feeding a few individuals - I loathe. Mothers who can only clean and cook and take abuse from their husbands - 'Somali' mothers who havent the slightest clue what the no-good kids they raise with no principles, values or any sense of self motivation do... Sorry 4 going off topic a bit there - just annoyed by this redundant subject .... I think those women are wonderful..but rest assured, when their kids are a lil older, they will all go back to work or pursue some other activity/work that will either give some PERSONAL fulfillment or MONEY Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Xafsa Posted November 8, 2003 infact, every woman should take that few years off to give her full, undivided attention to her childen] True...the those are the critical years...but when they do go to school or are all grown up you gotta do what you gotta do. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sophist Posted November 8, 2003 "'I've had people tell me that it's women like me that are ruining the workplace because it makes employers suspicious,'' she continues. ''I don't want to take on the mantle of all womanhood and fight a fight for some sister who isn't really my sister because I don't even know her.'' I feel her statement. The other night I was invited to Formal Dinner in order to partcipate an ACCESS Project (project designed to increase students who are from schools that are not traditionally oxbridge sending pupils) and show the toph addmission tutors that ethnic boys fit in at both college and University level- during the begining of that week i had become the Vice President/External officer of the JCR (Unior Common room= College Student Union). So these chaps wanted to use this as a sign that we are contibuting student life both socially and academically. However, the following morning I had a supervision on some boring subject, was expected to discuss the origins of Roman Law and hand in an essay on Troditio. When I declined the invitation respectfully, some ethnic boy said, I owned a duty to potential brothers who want to apply here. I said I am not going to supervision ill-prepared for some brothers mate!. Sometimes people expected you to do something out of some idiotic principle- principle that makes no sense sometimes. Good on these women for no tupholding some murky principle. Sophist Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Abdinuur Posted November 9, 2003 Hey...what matters most is education like ATHENA said it. Ayaanick, ...after all it does take two to tango. Does it not??? You're absolutely right! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Changed Posted November 9, 2003 ilmatic ....LOL......we all know this ur fav topic to discuss .....lol....okay there is nothing wrong with educated sister being house wife , but what do u suggest she do after the children are old enough to take of themselves , obiviously she will have to go back to work, ..so i will agree with athena and flying still . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
