George W. Bush resume

[Thinkerman]

George W. Bush

The White House, USA

 

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE

LAW ENFORCEMENT: I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine in 1976 for driving

under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my

driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been

"lost" and is not available.

 

MILITARY: I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to

take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the

Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

 

COLLEGE: I graduated from Yale University. I was a cheerleader.

 

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.

I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas in 1975. I bought

an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went

bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took

land using taxpayer money.

With the help of my father and our right-wing friends in the oil industry

(including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected Governor of Texas.

 

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR:

I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making

Texas the most polluted state in the Union.

During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city

in America.

I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in

borrowed money.

I set the record for the most executions by any Governor in American

history.

With the help of my brother, the Governor of Florida, and my father's

appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over

500,000 votes.

 

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one

billion dollars per week.

I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any

12-month period.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S.

stock market.

I am the first president in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal

record.

I set the the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one year

period. After taking-off the entire month of August, I presided over the

worst security failure in U.S.history.

I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.

In my State Of The Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking

Iraq, then blamed the lies on our British friends.

I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. president.

In my first year in office over 2-million Americans lost their jobs and

that trend continues every month.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any president

in U.S. history.

I set the record for least amount of press conferences than any president

since the advent of television.

I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to

intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty

benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in war time.

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously

protest me in public venues (15 million people) shattering the record for

protest against any person in the history of mankind.

I've broken more international treaties than any president in U.S. history.

 

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any

administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice,

has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

I am the first president in U.S. history to order an unprovoked,

pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did

so against the will of the United Nations, themajority of U.S. citizens,

and the world community.

I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the

history of the United States government .

I am the first president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove

the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission. I withdrew the U.S. from the

World Court of Law. I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. prisoners

of war" detainees) and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva

Convention.

I am the first president in history to refuse United Nations election

inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).

I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most

corporate campaign donations.

My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends,

Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S.

history. My political party used the Enron private jets and corporate

ttorneys to assure my success with the U.S.

Supreme Court during my election decision. I have protected my friends at

Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and

money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been

spent investigating one of the biggest corporate ripoffs in history.

I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center

attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in

the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

I am first president in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view

my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded

government contracts.

I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden and

Saddam Hussein to justice.

 

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

>All records of my tenure as Governor of Texas are now in my father's

>library, sealed, and unavailable for public view.

>All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my

>bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

>All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended

>regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for

>public review.

>

>Please consider my experience when voting in 2004

[nuune]

lol,he is a big wackooow,this guy funny wuu dhaafay,waalnina wuu dhaafay,muxuu yahay wuxu!!

[Haashim]

Nuune daa wiilka wiil hoog weeye. ninkaasoo kalaa la rabaa :cool:

[Paragon]

Lol Muraad... I heard bush was a school bully not a cheerleader. Rusmfield too. SO in a nutshell, the world is under the mercy of school bullies. Their motto? Hang'em High! lol