BOREDOM

[NGONGE]

^^^ looool

[Xarago]

I read Ngonge's posts with interest and are very entertaining especially 'boredom'. Lakiin waxaan kala fahmi wayay ninku in ay dacad ka tahey iyo in kale. In ay dhab ka tahey sheekadu amase sheeka xadhidh. Wax kasta ba ha ahate waa nin madadalo ku xeel dheer xaga hal aburkaan ku dhereya. Waxanse la yaba madhadhka oo sheekada reerkisa kuso daro..oo waxan is irah sho reerku ku kacsan yahey. Lakiin dhinaca uma eega ee waxan uu fasirta in ay ka tahey kajan.

Dhankasta oo lo egaba ninkan Ngonge ah wuxuu mudan yahey bilaad xaga sheekoyiinka.

Adna Ngongo ha is odhaan ujeedey ledahey ee waa iga aragti wax kale oo dher ma jidhan.

[raula]

I think NGONGE is competing for some OLYMPIC marathon here,but I haven't figure out what sport is it yet :confused: Get a life you depressed-gizzard

[NGONGE]

On Friday night, I was home alone. My wife and sister went to a wedding party and were coming back late. I got back from work. Changed. Had something to eat. Said goodbye to the ladies and was ready to start looking after the six kids I was left to look after! Two girls and four boys. Ages ranging from two months to six years. It promised to be a fun evening. It was. I first started preparing their final meal of the day. Jam sandwiches and milk. The one year old girl was happy with my choice but all the rest refused to eat! They wanted chips! I could not make them chips. We compromised. They had crisps for dinner. Next, I had to divide them into groups of two and wash them. The three year old girl. My daughter. Refused to share the shower with her two year old male cousin. I thought to myself 'that's my girl'. I washed the three boys first. While I was doing this, I gave the two girls a couple of brooms and told them that sweeping the floor outside the bathroom was the most important job in the house. They did a great job. It was their turn to have a shower. I gave the boys the Hoover and asked them to vacuum the area that the girls cleaned. They had to somehow share the credit for a job well done with the girls. They also did a sterling job. After washing the girls and the boys, it was time for their night clothes. Children are picky little rascals! I threatened the boys with skirts and the girls with a hair cut. They behaved. I put the boys to sleep and got ready to dry and comb the girls' hair. They wouldn't sit still. The elder one kept asking me to promise not to cut her hair! I did. She didn't believe me. I gave her a small mirror and told her to jump away the minute she saw me trying to cut her hair. She sat still throughout. The younger one asked me to apply makeup to her face! She's only eighteen month's old! I put some baby powder on her face. The older one who's not used to seeing me agree to their demands easily worked out why I was very nice to them. She knew I didn't want them to make any noise and wake the boys up. She started taking advantage. I asked her to stop. She said " NO" I said " If you don't stop right now I'm going to put you in the backyard" She said " I'm not scared". I said " I'm going to leave you there all night" She said " I'm not scared" I said " You're going to be cold" She said "I'll sleep in the shed" I said " are you really not that scared?" She said " Yes" I said " So, do you want to sleep in the backyard?" She said " No. But I'm not scared" I said " Ok then. Be a good girl and you can sleep on your own bed" She didn't know what to say. Her sister started singing the theme song to Balamory. I told her to stop. She pretended not to understand me and started laughing. I pretended to laugh with her and stuck my tongue out at her. She stopped singing. I finished their hair and put them to bed. I didn't put them in the same room as the boys. My six year old nephew got up and followed us into the room. He wanted me to read him a bedtime story! I picked up an Arabic book and read them the story about the guy who had to look after the six naughty kids. They felt sorry for the hero of the story. I made up a childish song about that guy being the greatest babysitter in the world. They sang the song with me. I said goodnight and left them to sleep. They promised they'll sleep. I sat in front of the TV and watched highlights of the Olympic games. I saw athletes finishing races and looking real tired. I didn't feel sorry for them as I usually do. I thought what silly and weak people these tired athletes were. I'm looking after six kids here. I'm not acting weak and tired. I should be getting a gold medal. The door opened. I saw tiny feet. My two year old daughter came in. I asked her why is she not sleeping. She told me that her younger sister is coughing too much. I went upstairs. She followed me up. The younger sister was sleeping. She was not coughing. She was snoring! I prodded her a couple of times. She stopped snoring. I told my daughter to go to sleep and ignore the "coughing". She did. I went downstairs. I heard a baby cry! Damn! I forgot all about the baby. I forgot where I left him. I looked for him everywhere. I followed the sound. He was in his Moses basket. On top of the kitchen table! When did I leave him there? I picked him up. His nappy was full. I started changing him. He kept on wriggling about. I started singing to him. The same song about the greatest babysitter. He calmed down. I made him some milk. I gave him his milk and put him back in the basket. I felt guilty about forgetting him. Sat back watching the tired athletes. This was easy. for twenty minutes, I sat watching the TV with no problems. I panicked.Things should not be that easy. I looked at the baby. He was sleeping. Was he sleeping? He wasn't moving at all. I lifted his arm up and let it fall. It fell! I prodded him. He didn't move. I did it again. He didn't move. I did it a third time. He cried. I was relived. I picked him up and begged him to stop crying. He wouldn't stop. My daughter and my eldest nephew came running down. She said " The baby is crying" I said !"I know. Why are you not sleeping?" She said "Because the baby is crying" I said " I'm looking after the baby, go back to sleep please" She said " I can't" I said "Why can't you?" She said " because the baby is crying" I said " Ok, go back and just lie down in bed, you don't have to sleep" she said " I can't" I said " Why not now?" She said " because it's dark" I said " No it's not. There is a baby light in the room" She said "It's darker than here" I said " Do you want to sleep here?" She said " I can't" I was ready to throw the baby at her. I said " Why not?" She said" because the baby is crying".I asked her to sit down and not talk at all. She did. My nephew asked me if he could sit down too. I said he could. He walked over to her with a happier face than a gold medal winner! The baby stopped crying. I put him back down and turned my attention to the sleepless two. I asked them if they wanted to play the sleeping game with me. They said yes. I asked them to lie down, shut their eyes and see who would sleep first. My daughter was excited and almost agreed to play the game. My nephew whispered something in her ear.She looked at me. She looked hurt. I asked her what was wrong. She said " It's a trick" I said " No it's not. It's a game" She said" You want to trick us" My nephew said " Yeah, you want to trick us". I couldn't trick a couple of infants! Take that gold medal back. I'm not worthy. They were both looking at me. Waiting for my next move. I need to come up with something totally childish to win this game. I picked up the baby and started walking out of the room. I told them to switch the TV and lights off when they come to bed. They didn't say anything but I could see it in their eyes. They thought this was another trick. I went upstairs. Went to bed. They both came running after me. My daughter climbed into bed and whispered in my ear " daddy, are you really going to sleep?" I said "yes". She said "What about mummy?" I said " She has a key" She said " Can I sleep next to you?" I said " No. Sleep on your own bed" She said " But I can't sleep on my own bed" I asked her why. She said " because it's too small" I said " You're small" She said " No I'm a big girl" I said "Big girls sleep on their own beds" she said " but your bed is big" I gave in. My six year old nephew who I suspect to be the brains of this lethal partnership, jumped in. I told them to go to sleep and not give me any more hassle. They didn't reply. Half an hour later, they were both snoring. I put them back in their own beds. I picked up the baby's basket and went back downstairs. Nothing else happened. Three hours later, my wife and sister came back. I passed them the baby and went back to bed. I entered the bedroom and found my daughter and nephew bouncing on the bed. they tricked me! I didn't care. It wasn't my problem anymore. I sent them downstairs and went to bed. The next morning, I woke up late. I went downstairs and found all the kids lined up and waiting for

me! They clumsily started singing the song from the night before. The greatest baby sitter song. I grunted and went to the toilet....

[rudy-Diiriye]

you changed the diaper! and made milk for the baby! yo, how do u do that! u got some faqs u can pass to me!!

 

everytime my better asks me about babies, i got sweetie next yr okey!!

 

kids scare the heck out of me!! :confused:

[NGONGE]

On Saturday, I went for a run in the local park. After running round for ten minutes, I decided to have a break. I sat on a bench and thought about having a cigarette. I didn’t. I heard a funny sound. I looked around and couldn’t find where the sound was coming from. I found it. There was a bottle of coke next to me on the bench. It was empty and had the cover on. It was shaking slightly. There was a Bee in it! Who would lock a Bee in a coke bottle? I felt sorry for the poor creature. Who locked it in there? Why? I decided to let it go. I didn’t. I remembered Aladdin’s story (or was it Sinbad?). The one where he found a bottle in the beach and when he opened it a huge Jinni came out and tried to kill him. Aladdin managed to outwit the jinni on that occasion, could I outwit the Bee? What if I let it out and it took its anger out on me? I decided not to take the risk. An old man walked past and looked at me with the bottle in my hand. I hid it behind my back. I hoped he didn’t see the Bee. He probably now thinks I put it there. I’ve got to let it go. I can’t walk away and leave it there. There is a witness now. I looked around me to see if anyone else was coming. The old man was gone. There was nobody about. I slowly put the bottle back and got up. A woman ran past. I sat down again. I didn’t put the Bee in the bottle so why am I feeling guilty about it? Maybe I was born guilty! Is locking Bees in bottles classed as cruelty to animals? Would I get persecuted for it? Surely that’s not the coolest of crimes to get sent down for! I decided to walk away and if I got caught in the act of walking away, I was going to punch whoever catches me. If I were going to go to jail I’d rather go down for assault than for mistreating Bees. What if the Bee dies inside the bottle though? I’d be a Bee murderer. No I wont. I didn’t put the silly Bee in the bottle. I only found it there. Will anyone believe me though? My fingerprints are all over the bottle! I decided that the best course of action was to cut short today’s exercise and take the bottle home with me. I’ll think of something to do once I got home. I put the bottle in my pocket and walked away guardedly. Whenever someone walked past me I’d start to whistle to drown the sounds of the Bee in the bottle. The journey home usually takes five minutes but that day was different, it was as if I was walking a marathon with a Bee in my pocket! When I was a few yards away from home the noise stopped. I took the bottle out to find the Bee dead! I almost fainted. I took deep breaths and convinced myself that the Bee was not dead. Maybe it’s just unconscious. How do you give a Bee first aid? I opened the front door and walked in. My wife saw me and said, “ What’s in the empty bottle?†I said “ a dead Bee, dear†She said, “ Why are you carrying a dead Bee in an empty bottle?†I said “ I found it in the park†She said “ But why are you carrying it?†I didn’t want to say why because she’ll only call me silly again. I said, “I felt sorry for it†She said “ So what are you planning to do with it now?†I said, “ I’m not sure,†She said “ It’s cruel to keep Bees in bottles, you know†I said “ I know†She said “ Let it go†I tried to open the bottle when my wife screamed “ Not here, silly, not here†I stopped. She said “ go outside and then let it out†I said “What if anyone saw me?†She said, “ What if anyone saw you?†I said “ Exactly†she said “I’m married to a mad man†I said “ I’m not mad†She said “ No you’re not but you’re very childish†I said “ Is it childish to feel sorry for Bees?†She said “ No it’s not†I said “ There you go then†She said “It’s childish to keep them in a bottle though†I said “ I didn’t put that Bee in this bottle†she said “Who did then? Your invisible friend?†I didn’t want to have this conversation anymore. She was patronising me. She said, “ I think the Bee is dead†I said, “ No it’s not, it’s just unconscious†She said, “How did you know that?†I said, “ I just know†She said, “ Just get rid of it please†I walked out, looked around me and opened the bottle. I waited for the Bee to get some air and wake up. It didn’t. I shook the bottle. The Bee fell out. It was dead! I threw the bottle away and went back in all sad and melancholic. She said to me “ You are very silly†I didn’t reply. She said “don’t get upset now, I didn’t mean to make you that sad†I said “ it’s not you, dear, it’s the Bee,†She said, “ Did it sting you?†I said, “ No, it’s dead†She said “ You’re sad because the Bee is dead?†I said “ Yes†she said “ But it’s only a Bee, dear†I said, “ I’m a Bee murderer†she said, “ I told you you’re sillyâ€.....

[- Femme -]

I took the bottle out to find the Bee dead! I almost fainted. I took deep breaths and convinced myself that the Bee was not dead. Maybe it’s just unconscious. How do you give a Bee first aid?

]

 

[NGONGE]

Last night, I went to bed early and had a nightmare. Some strange guy in a shopping mall that sometimes looked like a bus stop and sometimes looked like a beach kept on calling me a bully! I was laughing in my dream at the randomness of his attack. He kept on calling me all sorts of names. Other people joined in. I decided to ignore them and walk away. Some kids rang the doorbell and ran away. I had enough and decided to go back and give that guy a piece of my mind. A pack of dogs started chasing me. I tried to trick them and get back to the guy. I fell in a hole. I saw a mouse trap with a mouse in it. It had henna on its feet! I walked away. I saw a gang of mice heading my way. I ran. They gave chase. It wasn’t the mice it was the dogs again! They started shooting at me. I dived into a ditch. I saw a sleeping snake. I jumped out. The guy at the bus stop was laughing and saying, “ You’re not just a bully you’re a coward too†I punched him on the nose. It deflated like a big balloon. I was buried under it. I fought to get out but the rest of his body was trying to restrain me. I started screaming. Everyone screamed. I kept on punching in the dark. It started raining. I heard babies cry. The rain was cold. I was drenched. I looked up and saw a giant snail. It was talking to me! I didn’t understand what it was saying. I tried to focus. I wasn’t wearing my glasses. I got up and looked for them. It was my wife. She told me to stop making so much noise and punching the wall. She looked angry. I pretended I was still sleeping. I put the cover on my face. Under the cover, I started checking out my bleeding hands. I fell asleep. In the morning, my wife asked me if I had a good night’s sleep. I said “ Why did you wake me up last night?†She said, “ I didn’t,†I said “ Yes you did and you also poured some cold water on me†She said, “ I didn’t. You must have been dreaming†I said “ I was dreaming but you woke me up and told me to stop punching the wall, even my knuckles were bloody!†She said “ They’re not bloody now, are they?†I looked at them and they were not. She said, “ See? I told you it was a dream,†I said “ Maybe that bit was part of the dream but the water bit was not,†She said “ You need to see a doctor†I said “What for? My hands are ok now†She said, “ You just do,†I said “ I wont†she slapped me! When I woke up this morning, I was going to ask her about that slap and start an argument with her over it but I was running late and had to go to work. I might as well forgive her now.

[Viking]

VIKING,

I remember watching that film a few years ago too. Can’t remember how the plot went though. I keep mixing it up with fight club for some strange reason.

NGONGE,

Now you are in Fight Club, all those elusive opponents...

 

I saw a mouse trap with a mouse in it. It had henna on its feet!

LOOL, that cracked me up!

[Baashi]

y'all give it up to NGONGE. Very talented nomad. I read this thread everyday...imagine that . He puts smile on my face.

 

Priceless :cool:

[-Serenity-]

Same here. I read this thread everyday. I went to the recent topics page 1st and didnt see it in the list, thought NGONGE had forgotten to write 2day and was disappointed.. but I'm glad I checked just in case.

 

Good JOB old man!

 

Just a suggestion NGONGE - Could you put your stories into paragraphs? and write dialogues on a new line? I feel intimidated by long paragraphs and often loose the line im reading

[checkmate]

same here and some.ngonge walaal you have done a great job, i,like the rest look forward to reading your paint with words everyday....your gifted ilahey hakuu siyaadsho..thank you walaalkiis

 

asxantu

[NGONGE]

Last night, on my way home from work, I decided to stop by a cash machine and withdraw some money. I stood by the cash machine and took my wallet out. I took my bankcard out and tried to put it in the machine but I dropped it. I panicked. I quickly picked it up and put it in the machine. As I was waiting for it to be read and the request to type my pin number to appear on the screen, I started reading the little notices written on the cash machine. It said “BEWAR OF THIEVESâ€. I looked around me but didn’t see any. I was prompted to type my pin number in. I had another quick look around me then typed the number quickly. I got it wrong. I typed it again and got it right this time. I followed the instructions on the screen and picked the right amount of money. While my money was being counted, I kept looking around me to see if any thieves had arrived. I didn’t see any. My card came out. I quickly picked it up and put it back in my wallet. I put the wallet back in my pocket and walked away. I remembered the money. I ran back to the cash machine, picked it up and tried to hurriedly stuff it in my wallet. I put the wallet in my pocket and was just about to walk away when someone stopped me. I jumped back. He took a step back. I said, “ What do you want?†He said “can you lend us a pound for a cup of coffee, mate?†I said “ I don’t have any money†He said “ I just saw you taking money out the cash machine†I said “ No I didn’t, I was only checking my balance†He said “ But I saw you, mate†I said “ You must have imagined it†He said “ You really don’t need to lie†I said “I’m not lying†He said “All you had to say was that you had no spare change, mate†I said “ Isn’t that what I just told you?†He said, “ No, you said you had no money†I said, “ Well, I don’t†He said “So what’s that in your wallet?†I quickly had a look at my pocket. The wallet was inside my pocket. How the hell did he see what’s in my wallet? I said, “My wallet is empty,†He said, “ Show meâ€. I was stuck! I can’t show him my wallet. He’ll see the money. I said “NOâ€, he said “Why not? Do you have something to hide?†I said “ I don’t have anything to hide and I don’t have to prove anything to you either†He said “You know you could have saved yourself all this panic if you just gave me that pound†I said “What pound?†He said “ The one I asked you to lend me†I said, “You want me to lend you a pound?†He said, “If its not too much trouble, mate†I said, “When will I get it back?†He got upset and said “ Look, if you don’t want to give me money, that’s fine, just don’t play games with me, mate†I said “ I’m not playing games†He said “You are†He looked at me for a second then grunted and started walking away. I thought to myself “what a useless thief!†I went after him. He ignored me. I asked him to stop. He told me to go to hell. I apologised and asked him to ‘please stop’. He stopped and said, “What do you want?†I said “ I don’t want anything, it’s you who wanted something from me†He said “ Yes, I wanted a pound to buy a cup of coffee but you tried to humiliate me for it†I said “ nonsense†He started walking away. I said, “ Ok, ok, maybe I humiliated you unintentionally, I’m sorry†He said, “ apology acceptedâ€. I said, “ Now that we’re friends again, how about we go for that cup of coffee?†He said “What cup of coffee?†I said, “ The one you wanted to buy with my pound!†He said, “ You didn’t even give me the pound,†I said “ I don’t have to, I’m going to buy you coffee†He said “I don’t want coffee now†I said, “ Well, what do you want?†He said “ Just the pound†I said, “What are you going to do with it?†He said “ That ‘s my business†I said “But it’s my pound, man†He said “Keep your pound and just leave me alone, you tight-fisted so and so†I said “ I’m not stingy†He started laughing and walked away. I followed him and said, “Why did you laugh?†He stopped and said, “ If you don’t stop following me, I’m going to beat you up and not just take one pound, I’m going to take all your moneyâ€. He is a thief! I told him that I was going to stop following him and that I don’t deal with thieves. I started walking away. He followed me angrily and shouted, “ Who are you calling a thief?†I turned around and asked him if he was drunk! He said he wasn’t but still wanted to know why I called him a thief. I wasn’t scared of him. I just didn’t want to spend another half an hour explaining to him why I thought he was a thief. I really wasn’t scared of him! He started calling me names and asking me why I called him a thief. I took a pound out of my pocket and held it out to him to shut him up. I told him to have it and just leave me alone. He swore some more and got really so close I could see the veins in his head. I panicked. Punched him with the pound and ran away.

 

If you see a guy with a pound sign on his forehead, BEWARE BEWARE....

[NGONGE]

Thank you for your kind words

 

Seven of sagal, you must be mistaken me for someone who really takes this thing seriously, dear. It's all a stream of consciousness. I could just about manage to put some comas, full stops and quotation marks there to start with, sister.

[- Femme -]

My anger rose furthermore. I wanted to pick up my monitor and

smash

it against the wall! /QUOTE]

 

 

I picked up a razor. I threatened myself with it

I found a bottle of bleach. I took a drop of that and put it on the wound. Flash lights everywhere. PAIN. Lots and lots of pain.

I twisted, I turned, and I counted sheep, counted goats and

kicked

the green bottles of the wall.

I got caught in the act of walking away, I was going to

punch

whoever catches me.

I’d be a Bee

murderer

.

The guy at the bus stop was laughing and saying, “ You’re not just a bully you’re a coward too†I

punched

him on the nose

Punched

him with the pound and ran away.

Doesnt anyone else notice this disturbing trend?. There is a positive correlation between how bored NGONGE gets and the degree of his violent behaviours. Furthermore I notice that after every conflict NGONGE either runs away or tries to stick to his pointless arguement. Dare I say COWARD?