A7LA-SHU Posted April 5, 2003 Asallam Alaikum.. how yo'll doing? i hope doing all great and healthy... well i had this q for the longest time... why do as somalis marry girls the minute we find out she is pregnant? don't we know that this kid isn't conceived in a halal way and the fact that we did the nekah while she was pregnant the rest of the kids are still basterdes?(excuse my lang).. i know parents are tryin to marry them so the public won't found out, but for most parts everyone in the town knows about it way before the poor parents. so what is the point? by the way im not tryin to sound no religious person up in here. and im still lookin to find this in print i mean in hadith or in the quran. but i asked this sheikh. and the answer i got was the husband couldn't divorce his wife while she is pregnant so he had to wait untill she had the baby, and he said the same goes for the marryin them too. they would have to wait till the baby is born to get married.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shyhem Posted April 5, 2003 Maybe u should ask why did the girl become pregnant in the first place.U should check her family, most likey she ain't the first one to do so.A girl is always her mother, and mothers know whats good for her daughter especialy when she comes home with unauthorised belly enlargement. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
StarGazer Posted April 5, 2003 why do as somalis marry girls the minute we find out she is pregnant? don't we know that this kid isn't conceived in a halal way and the fact that we did the nekah while she was pregnant the rest of the kids are still basterdes?(excuse my lang).. Why do we refer to an innocent child who had nothing to do with the transgression of his/her parents as a ******* ? I think that's a disgusting attitude to have. No offence sister, but you just displayed a typical somali attitude towards children born out of wedlock. Allah will deal with BOTH parents, but the child is innocent and he/she shouldn't be labelled n' be treated like outcasts. It's takes 2 to make it outta sight, so if a pregnancy results then what's wrong with the male taking responsibility for his actions. Maybe Somalis do it to save face, but I know here in N.America they marry to assume responsibility. A girl is always her mother, and mothers know whats good for her daughter especialy when she comes home with unauthorised belly enlargement. That's not necessarily true, there are plenty of mothers who raised their daughters better than that and come home pregnant. And as for the matter of whether its halal for the 2 pple in question to marry, I have no clue. It's better for you to ask a sheikh or a scholar of Islam for more details. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
underdog Posted April 5, 2003 We all make mistakes and a few of us have the courage to try and fix that mistake. Both the man and the woman are guilty in this equation. Even though the guy can just split and face no consquences it is preferable that he face his mistake and marry the girl instead of abandoning her to become a dishonored woman with a fatherless child. The sin is not on the child. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
A7LA-SHU Posted April 6, 2003 thanks for all the replies yo.. shyhem nah bro, as much that can be true, like they say like mother like daughter. but i wouldn't say that has anything to do with the mother... and lol @unauthorised belly enlargement. tamina girl first of all i said excuse my lang, and second i only used the word but i know the kid wasn't the one who made the mistake. but my q wasn't about if the kid to blame or not... my q was don't the parents know there is no nekah for those two ppl coz she is pregnant. so that means they still like gf/bf, even thou they think they are married now.. underdog. that is my point they think they are doing good thing by havin the guy stick around which is good. but she is not his wife thou.. coz they married her when she was pregnant and im surprised the somali sheikhs who are marryin those ppl aren't tellin them none of this makes them husband and wife and that they should wait untill the baby is born... i hope i made few things clear.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Senora Posted April 7, 2003 A girl is always her mother, Thats not necessarily true for everyone. No matter how much you try and argue with me, parents can't control or supervise what their youngsters are doing. Yes me and my mother may share the same qualities, but I'm still my own person, and what i do is in no way a reflection of what my mother is or what she has taught me. Anyways, didnt mean to get off the subject here, i dont have much of a feedback for you, but i didnt realize this was an actual issue with somali's. I just heard something like this from this somali girl i know, and i couldnt believe when i heard that she was three months pregnant b4 she actually got married! And the worse part is, she doesn't even know who the daddy is?? :eek: This is so sad , regardless of it being a mistake or not. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NoVa Posted April 7, 2003 This happend in our community all the time...the sad thing is that now it's becoming as if it ain't a big deal u know....U see the same old'routine happening. What i can't stand is, the fact that the guy and the girl's families will be planning a Last MInture wedding for their Screwed UP KIDS...as if they think the whole community won't be knowing their kids are ****ed up and had kids without a wedlock...Well come on word on the street travels faster than the speed of light...so why u think 'Astura" will bring a peace in the minds?...They already making worst by inviting the whole community together and having a Big Fat Wedding for them....I"mean why can't those parents say "HEll with u, after all u the one's who screw urselves"?..U put urself in that situation then deal withit...Islamically 2 ppl that slept together without xalaal can't even marry each others so why would a Sheikh Marry these 2? It ain't even valid marriage....and the worst is from a female's point of view...why marry if ur pregnent?..U already screw urself once b4...na i'mean...Why screw it 4 the baby' when he sees the wedding pics and say's Mom how come ur tummy's big"? and u be like "Oh yeah I was 9 month pregnant when I got married"... ain't that sad life. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kiLLaflows Posted April 8, 2003 hmmmmmm Magnoon girl ..... this is not my first i read Ur topic it seems Ur pregnant somalida waxeey tiraahda islaanta haruurka tumi taqaan gabadheedana haadiiska ayeey taqan WuN Luvvvvvvv Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
A7LA-SHU Posted April 8, 2003 nova thanks.. at least i see someone who understands what i was askin.. clown what can i say they love ya sweety. is all out of somali love lol kaaahin first of all im not pregnant and if was i would killed myself way before dat dude lol... i don't mess around with those kinda stuff trust me. and for the second thing lets just say me no somali. so that lil last part i have no idea what it says.. so help the sista out. peace n 1 luv... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
